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Desc:God's writin checks today.
Category:Religious
Tags:money, prayer, Pat Robertson
Submitted:TeenerTot
Date:03/06/13
Views:1111
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Comment count is 21
Adham Nu'man
I know your need. You're not asking for much, you just need a million dollars.
CIWB
The whole evangelical prosperity gospel nonsense is probably the worst thing to happen to modern Christianity. And that's saying a lot.
Aelric
It's really been a part of of American Protestantism since the beginning, it's just that back then it resulted in things like a slightly larger farm to work harder on instead of simple high scores in your bank account.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I'm convinced that Pat Robertson will never die, because God doesn't want to deal with this annoying little know it all trying to privatize heaven.
SteamPoweredKleenex
His death will also kick off the fight in paradise between Robertson's drones and all the saints Pope Jean-Paul II had canonized before Pope Retirement I was appointed.

Stopheles
What on Earth makes you think he'd end up in Heaven?

John Holmes Motherfucker
Because otherwise the joke doesn't work.

Jet Bin Fever
Thanks delusional old man! CHA CHING!
THA SUGAH RAIN
Reminds me of a guy I knew who claimed to be a millionaire, but the man with the check just didn't know where to deliver it yet. He was serious, but in a way the faithful are serious. He had written a screen play and he knew it was going to make him a multi millionaire - it was that good of a screen play. And his plan for capitalizing on his creation was to pray and wait for some man with a briefcase full of money.
Innocent Bystander
PRO TIP: Remember to spend all of it before you die so you get to heaven.
Bort
Ladies and gentlemen, the 1980s distilled to 20 seconds.

A lot of you were too young to remember the 80s, or weren't even born yet. It was a decade where half the people were crazy stupid greedy, the other half were crazy stupid oblivious, and whatever people were left were stopped in their tracks in astonishment over the triumph of bullshit.
SteamPoweredKleenex
Yeah, that sounds nothing like today.

Aw, crap. I have to go help bail out some rich folk who pay next to nothing in taxes because someday I'LL be rich too. They promised.

Bort
There are a lot more people these days who realize something is very wrong. Even the Teabaggers have figured out that they are getting screwed by the system, they just blame entirely the wrong parties.

memedumpster
In the 80's, the whole earth knew that America was a murder loving war empire, while in modern times Americans now also know this.

Also, nowadays we're too lazy to threaten nuclear war with countries that would obviously stomp our asses into radioactive dust, so we just pick on stone age peoples with sky robots.

Quad9Damage
Is that guy really praying for $ 1 million (one million) dollars? Just sayin. It is 2013 and all.
EvilHomer
I prayed for money once. The next day, my son died in a coal mining accident. Life insurance paid us fifty thousand dollars.

My wife asked me to pray him back to life, but you know what, I'm OK with the way things turned out.
Jet Bin Fever
Did you pray that while holding a mummified monkey's paw?

EvilHomer
Come to think of it, the guy that sold me that paw did say the prayers would bring grave misfortune. I thought he was just being colorful.

dairyqueenlatifah
So what sect does Pattycakes belong to? Anyone know?

I only ask because I grew up going to a combination of Pentecostal and Baptist churches, and they all considered praying for God to bestow material wealth upon you (a new car, a million dollars, a mansion on the beach, etc.) to be a heinous sin indeed.
cognitivedissonance
Yeah, me too. KJV-Only Baptist. The craziest kind. Even THEY had issues with this level of Laodiceanism.

cognitivedissonance
So does this "instant" involve Youtube and reruns? Or does it have to be the instant he says it?
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