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Desc:Wait for it. The shirt isn't the worst part...
Category:Horror
Tags:shirt, no spoilers in tags, tj lane, school shooter
Submitted:Prickly Pete
Date:03/20/13
Views:2804
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Comment count is 65
Prickly Pete
The worst part is his delivery. Gah guy, you kill 3 people but are scared of public speaking??
John Holmes Motherfucker
That's cute. Go to hell.
EvilHomer
I hope he gets raped.
John Holmes Motherfucker
I think he'll be raped within the first 20 minutes.

Jet Bin Fever
Normally I would say, "no! Why would you want someone to be sexually assaulted?" But god... this one really tests me.

Old_Zircon
They'll kill him first, so it's OK.

nonplusplus
"The hand that pulled the trigger that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory. Love you."
Prickly Pete
Actually--and this is a very important distinction--it's cut right there as he said "Fuck all of you". Not sure why it's cut.

Old_Zircon
Because swear words are bad.

chumbucket
sho' got a purdy mouth
MongoMcMichael
CAPTIVE HONOR
AIN'T NO HONOR
snothouse
That'll show those...parents? What is this kids end game?
Being the ultimate lil' shit?
takewithfood
Yeah, I think we all pretty much assume you're going to be doing a lot of masturbating to pass the time during your life sentence without parole. I mean, no offense, but by prison standards you don't exactly look like a "top".
James Woods
I hope an inmate chops his hand off.
StanleyPain
Keep in mind, no real motive has ever been established for this. The best the investigators were able to come up with is that one of the victims was dating an ex-girlfriend of this guy and that there was some bad blood there, but not much else.

Some people are just born evil, I suppose.
EvilHomer
He did it for the lulz?

Blue
We don't know. That doesn't mean that there isn't an answer.

Redford
Seriously. What sort of parse error in this guy's childhood would cause him to kill a bunch of people just so he could feel important about it? The thing is, if I know anything about prison, the moment he leaves juvenile protection the people who he's in the slammer with are going to learn that he killed a bunch of teenagers for shits and giggles.

His future is grim, regardless of how much he is enjoying it now. I hope that in the future, he comes to understand it and our system improves enough to allow him a second chance.
StanleyPain
There's evidence that his father is basically a choice fucktard and probably abused the kid and his mother and sort of raised him into a violent sociopath.

Gmork
Whodathunkit?

Maru
He spent hours thinking that up.
Jeriko-1
I do pity him a little bit.

Mainly because he's still a raging ball of hormones and whatever is wrong with his head. He has no idea of the consequences his actions could bring on him.

Mainly if you piss somebody off hard enough in the system (Like with what he did here.) your ass is SHU'd. For the rest of your sentence/life. SHU'd. I don't think he has any idea what a year of that will do. Let alone 50.
SixDigitDebt
I'm comfortable with that.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I look forward to future documentaries where he chronicles abuses against him.

delicatessen
NNNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDD!!!!!!
joelkazoo
Seems to me he figured his life is already fucked, why stop now?
Vaidency
I hope he spends the rest of his life quietly in prison and no one ever violates his rights or lays a hand on him unlawfully. I hope no one feeds his rage or validates his opinion of the rest of humanity.

I hope, seventy years from now, as he lies dying in a clean prison hospital bed, he can only look back and realize that his life reflected the fair and just treatment of a horrible person.
Xenocide
That's beautiful and truly compassionate.

Please do not think less of me when I say I hope someone rapes him with a dildo made of scorpions. The scorpions are coated in fire ants and the fire ants are coated in liquid chainsaws.

Simillion
Fair and just treatment = prison-acquired hepatitis B, C, HIV, maybe even some anal warts and anal cancer, and perhaps a few bouts of undertreated neurosyphilis too. With any luck.

jaunch
Yeah, I get that he probably has some kind of mental disease, but honestly, I don't think I'd shed a tear if I learned that right after he made that statement, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I just wish someone would have put him away sooner, before he had a chance to kill innocent people without remorse.

John Holmes Motherfucker
Raping this diseased young man in the ass will not bring back the dead.

But it's worth a try.

Prickly Pete
Wouldn't that be crazy if we found out through this that it did? Like if the family member of a murder victim rapes the murderer in the ass while wearing an article of the victim's clothes or something, it brought them back to life? I don't think we've tried that yet.

Adham Nu'man
I am the assrape fairy, if you all jointly concentrate real hard on your assrape fantasies I will make them come true.

Oscar Wildcat
I've got to admit; I didn't know anything about this until the videos started popping up. There are so many of these school shootings now. How do you folks keep up?
Gmork
a newspaper with the headline "SHIT SUCKS" for the next thousand years

Hooker
I was kinda amused in a bleak way by the mundane title of the clip. It's the same phrasing you would use to describe someone common, like, say, a Taco Bell customer doing something and you wouldn't use to describe someone comparatively unique, like, say, an Olympic athlete. That's just how many school shooters there are now.

sjohnson301
Where he's headed, he's not going to get any magic markers and clean t-shirts. Unless you count the magic markers which have been sharpened into shanks, and the clean t-shirts that have been tied into a hangman's noose.
Riskbreaker
The death penalty was invented for guys like him.
CornOnTheCabre
actually I'm pretty sure it was invented for witches or members of rival tribes that couldn't be properly utilized as slaves, but hey, when life gives you lemons!

dairyqueenlatifah
For you, CotC.

Rodents of Unusual Size
They keep saying it costs so much to enact the death penalty. Bullets don't cost that much. And for that matter, neither do poisonous snakes.

Spaceman Africa
It's like a real life Chick Tract, the kid being a recent convert to atheism of course.
Rosebeekee
All it needs is his good, Christian grandmother to come in and ask the judge if she can serve his sentence in his place.

1394
Once everyone stops paying attention to him he'll just end up hanging himself.
Macho Nacho
There's going to be a whole little group dedicated to this guy. A tag will be set in place for him where his fans can fawn over him. Just like there are several groups idolizing the Columbine shooters and James Holmes. Just you wait. Argh.
Blue
Probably not. Unlike the other killers this guy seems to have gotten no publicity for his crimes at all. I can't find a single article that isn't about his shirt or this outburst.

Part of the reason some women treat those killers like celebrities is because the media treated them that way. This guy doesn't seem to have gotten that attention, which is how it should be.

The optimist in me hopes the media decided that it was wrong to offer free celebrity status and media blowjobs to anyone shooting up a school, but the realist in me says those peices of shit managed to milk those corpses for all they were worth and now school shootings are too common to be newsworthy.

Macho Nacho
I agree with you mostly Blue but there's already a fandom growing based around this guy and they call themselves
"laneatics":


http://tinyurl.com/c2scmm5

http://tinyurl.com/cmnznhk

Spaceman Africa
To be fair there's only like 5 people in that tag

Blue
It's not really a growing fandom so much as an existing fandom that's talking about him. I noticed the people talking about him usually had a bunch of stuff about their particular killer of choice.

EvilHomer
I can see the fangirl appeal in guys like Charles Manson and Luka Magnotta, but this toady little fellow? "laneatics"?

Clearly, our society's standards in murderer celebrity-worship are slipping. Something must be done.

NancyDrewFan123
That's gotta be a rough day when you check your daughter's history and instead of porn or whatever, you just find a dozen tumblrs about how sexy teen shooters are.

Top 5 worst family meeting premises ever.

memedumpster
There's a HUGE group dedicated to this guy, it's called the NRA!

Adham Nu'man
This guy is the Justin Bieber of murder celebrities.

Macho Nacho
Blue: True, the fact that there is are people, mostly teens, finding him misunderstood or how 'cute' he is, makes it odd.

Spaceman Africa: Let's hope it stays that way.

Jet Bin Fever
I think a dangerous maximum security prison will be the perfect place for this piece of shit to spend the rest of his godforsaken existence.
TheOtherCapnS
Holy shit. That is the coolest, most badass kid I've ever seen.
themilkshark
Sorry, but he probably won't be able to play Xbox Live with you anytime soon.

GovtCensor
I've spent two fucking nights censoring rape fantasies on this kid. It's pretty jarring to see them uncensored... it's making me a little twitchy, I must admit. My job is getting to me...
CornOnTheCabre
i'm kind of surprised "Man Totally Against Rape Culture Details Rape Fantasies of 17-Year-Old School Shooter" isn't an Onion article yet

RocketBlender
Jesus Christ. As though the Stubenville shit wasn't enough this week. I'm getting scared to come here lately.
Nikon
Lock this guy away forever and melt down the key.
sosage
...and pour the molten key down his dick hole.

memedumpster
Finally, the NRA has an honest mascot.

I vote we call him "Slaughtery the Republican."
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
This isn't my joke, but "The hand that killed your sons now masturbates to the memory" sounds like a metal album by Fiona Apple
Rodents of Unusual Size
At least his lawyer will get to go to lunch early.
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