the little chance of this being cool died with the fake sparks.
Fake sparks, fake spray, basically the same machine with different skins.
This isn't even hilariously bad. This is just laziness. This is the equivalent of the Syfy channel holding up two action figures in front of a baby and making explosion noises with its mouth.
Seriously, Syfy, you're a shit channel. Stop trying to shit out 'original' content and just start airing 50's B movies again.
Faceoff was kinda cool, not consistently though
Seven Arts/H8 Red
Part of Syfy's strategy, at this point, is to let Canadians shit out the content. The remainder, I assume, is filled with reality shows and wrestling.
Speaking of Canadian shit-out content: Being Human is a guilty pleasure of mine. I admit it.
|Wonko the Sane |
Less actual fighting than Rock'em Sock'em
5 for "Robot Rumpus."
5 more imaginary stars for the "Robot Rumpus" tag not being linked to Gumby.
Yeah, I've been trying to get it off the ground since that SmallFactoryNJ video. There are just so many things that could only rightly be described as a robot rumpus.
Reminds me the descriptions of shield combat in Dune where they had to purposely attack slow.
|Robin Kestrel |
Hilariously bad in every respect.
I love comments such as "A huge right hook that almost knocks Thunderskull right over! Brad is trying to keep Thunderskull on its feet!" and "That floor is COVERED in hydraulic fluid, making it very hard to maneuver!" when they're clearly supported by giant metal poles.
This is even more boring to watch than those "Robot Wars" type shows of a few years back when it was wheeled metal boxes bashing into each other.
One of those was hosted by Mick Foley.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Everything. Just everything.
Can't help it. I fucking love this awful show.
~Every robot is just a cosmetic shell on the same animatronic skeleton underneath.
~The robot characters are these hollow one dimensional turds that only the laziest of writers would bother putting down on paper. Case in point: One robot is named "Commander" and he's a military style robot. Because fuck everyone. SEMPER FI!!!
~"Team Steampunk"? Sure okay why not? At least SyFy recognizes that their audience are some of the more terrible nerds. (I'm looking at you, fans of Warehouse 13)
~Punches aren't landed so much as squibs full of sparks are set off. Also, a whole lot of hydraulic fuel is spilled from the upper arm areas. You know when you see the hydraulic fuel shooting out the sides you're suppose to be like "OH SHIT NO HE DIDN'T! THIS JUST GOT REAL" It's a very easy way to tell who's suppose to be winning, in lieu of any actual conflict.
~There are 3 rounds that last two minutes each. The time between each round is 20 minutes. Could you imagine attending a live show? All this fake fucking shit and you still got to pretend that they need 20 minutes to flip the switch that pumps out all that hydraulic fluid to the "off" position? There has got to be some crazy shit going on between rounds, that's all I'm saying.
~Chris Jericho hosts it. Love or hate wrestling, you gotta respect a guy that still goes by "Y2J". Well, at least if you are a poeTV user and you like terrible things.
Team Drone Strike.
"Every robot we attack is an enemy combatant."
|unknown specimen |
So that's what the robotification of crushing disappointment looks like. Now I know what it feels like to be my parents.
At least I hope this inspires some kid (assuming today's kids have the patience for even this) to make something terrific.
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