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Desc:No, seriously.
Category:Cartoons & Animation, Horror
Tags:David OReilly, adventure time, Trichophagia
Submitted:Simian Pride
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Comment count is 15
fedex - 2013-03-30
linked tag for Trichophagia, anyone..?
Squeamish - 2013-03-30
Oh my god. What. No. No.
William Topaz McGonagall - 2013-03-30
So an aspiring animator brings a copy of his cartoon to the director of programming at a certain basic cable station. I won't say which station. But let's just say we're not talking ESPN-4 here. This is a station with a lot of pull.

Now keep in mind this animator has had to grease a lot of palms to even get this meeting. This network guy, he's a bigwig. We're talking a 67th floor executive suite here. Big wide open glass room with big oak furniture and expensive tropical plants for decoration. This guy doesn't fuck around, and he doesn't like to waste his time. So the animator cuts right to the point. He sets up a projector and shows the network guy his pilot.

It starts with this girl, looks about 12 years old maybe, and she's in this cold, grey, dark, damp concrete room. Like a prison cell. Just kind of standing there. Her hair is some serious Repunzel shit, but all black, with clumps of dirt and other gross things sticking in it. So the girl is standing there and she takes a big old wad of her hair, all matted into a giant dread, and she starts shoving it down her own throat. Hard. Her eyes bulge and she gags like one of the girls in those gonzo pornos, but nonetheless she takes it like a fucking champ. Down and down and down, like a gaint link of sausage. She gags and sucks on it and licks it like it's a fine delicacy.

Well this goes on about ten minutes maybe, and the network guy is starting to get antsy. That's when the cartoon cuts to a wide shot. This little kid and his pet dog come into the frame. The kid is wearing some kind of weird bunny suit and the dog walks on two legs like a person and has these great big bug eyes, all black and soulless. The kid pulls down the girl's pants and we see the hair -- the hair that the girl is still shoving down her throat from the other end -- now exiting her anus. It's smeared with shit. Just covered in shit.

So the dog gets up behind the girl and he's at the perfect height to swallow this shit smeared dread of hair, which is exactly what he does. He goes to town on it. And now *he's* gagging too, and panting, and his big old dog tongue is just kind of hanging there on the bottom underneath this continuously advancing log of shit and human hair, and it's salivating something fierce.

The network executive is sweating and feeling ill by now, but the show isn't over yet. The boy gets down on his knees behind the dog's ass. And wouldn't you know it, this girl's Repunzel-ass fucking hair starts coming out of the dog's ass too. The little boy -- he looks like he's 8 or so, did I mention that? -- he takes it down his throat, and of course he starts gagging too. And he's gagging and gagging, and some vomit sprays out of his nostrils and the edges of his mouth and it looks like he's gonna faint. His eyes are all rolled back and the whole room is filled with the sound of horrible wet choking. Kind of thing that might drive a man to insanity. It's all just ink projected on a screen, but watching it you would swear that you can smell the bile and shit and that gunky fucking dread of unwashed hair.

Well now the kid in the bunny suit pulls down his jorts, and this fucking dread, it comes out of his ass too, and he's got this, this, cascade of hair -- shit, vomit, bile, mud covered black hair -- just kind of pooling around between his knees like a great big hair-turd. And he starts jacking off his little dick with one hand. The poor little pecker is so small he can only use his thumb and forefinger on it but that's fine since he seems to be enjoying it. Just about the time he blows his wad all over himself and the hair underneath him, a girl in a pink dress comes into frame and shoots him in the fucking head. Just like that. Blood everywhere. Then she does the dog and that hobo looking Repunzel girl too.

She wipes the smoking gun through the puddle of blood on the concrete ground, sits down next to the corpses, and uses the gun like a dildo on herself. She really gets into it, moaning and panting like a bitch in heat. We get a lot of huge closeups showing her pubey vagina, hairs all matted together by the gore. She gets *too* into it though if you know what I mean and suddenly the gun goes off. This girl shoots herself in her own fucking pussy. She falls over and starts crying and saying "why me? why me?" over and over again, but the more she bleeds, the weaker she gets, and the whole thing ends with about 15 minutes of watching this girl slowly bleed out and die, gurgling and crying until the very end.

Finally the projector runs out of film. The only sound in the room is the now empty reel spinning around. The animator turns to look at the executive with this huge wolfish smile on his face. The executive, fighting back his revulsion, mops his forehead with a handkerchief and says, "Son, that's one hell of a cartoon. What do you call it?"

"Adventure Time!"
ashtar. - 2013-03-31

fedex - 2013-03-31
yeah you earned, that was ok

chairsforcheap - 2013-03-31
yeah i can't not.

WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2013-03-31
shut up

Spaceman Africa - 2013-03-30
needs the "sfw fetish" tag
fluffy - 2013-03-30
This actually isn't an upcoming Adventure Time clip (NO SHIT REALLY), but David OReilly did direct the episode that's airing in a few days (A Glitch is a Glitch).
Mancakes - 2013-03-31
No, just watched the episode and this is actually in it.

fluffy - 2013-04-02
yeah, that was... surprising

EvilHomer - 2013-03-30
Nice gag reflex control.
Caminante Nocturno - 2013-03-30
See, you use that shampoo that smell like fruit, and this is what happens to you.
Binro the Heretic - 2013-03-31
Looks more like a bit from "Courage the Cowardly Dog" to me.
Xenocide - 2013-04-02
The actual episode doesn't show the whole thing. But it shows enough to traumatize a generation, which is all I ever really asked for.
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