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Desc:SPOILERS: it's an FBI plot
Category:Educational, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:beard, boston, Bombing, FBI, RealmanPwns
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:04/16/13
Views:1196
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Resubmit:The Mothership

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Comment count is 19
The Mothership
I anticipate great things here for this guy's channel. Loving the sweatshirt over the window.
Caminante Nocturno
It's like he skinned a sweater and hung its pelt as a trophy.

chumbucket
Hannibal style.

Old_Zircon
You know where I like to keep my cast iron cookware? nailed to my bedroom wall behind my plastic bags.

His sign off would be pure Charlie Manson if it weren't so half passed and self conscious.

Simillion
oh no.
sasazuka
Honestly, I think his beard encroaches too much on his chin and cheeks for it to truly be a "neckbeard".
Billy the Poet
I believe that's what's called a "beardo." It's a portmanteau of "bear" and "ardo."

EvilHomer
Yeah, I was considering beardo. That or fatbeard. But I like the word "neckbeard", dammit.

EvilHomer
I've been wrestling with the title all morning, and you know what, you're right. I don't want to cheapen the word through overuse.

I'll call him a fatbeard, because he's fat and has a beard and probably smells like Cheetos and musty DM Guides, if that's acceptable to people.

Sudan no1
I vote for beardo, it's an underused classic, besides this guy is thinner than 90% of vloggers.

EvilHomer
OK OK fine. Beardo. He's a beardo. Beardo was my original choice, and the vote is currently in favor of beardo, so beardo it is.

EvilHomer
Actually, I should say it was my *second* choice. I changed the title three times before I put it in the hopper. At first, I referred to him by his username, RealmanPwns, because it's hilariously stupid. But then I thought to myself, hey, nobody's seen him before, so his name carries no weight here in and of itself. It'd probably be better to describe him. He's bearded, and a weirdo, so, beardo. Natch. But then I started worrying about the word "beardo"; I don't know, to me it's always carried a certain underlying nastiness, like a racial slur, only directed against people with beards. As the child of a bearded-American, I guess I'm overly sensitive to indiscriminate beard-hate, even when the label fits the person perfectly. So then I'm thinking fuck it, whatever, neckbeard, it's more specific and it isn't weighed down with centuries of beard-related cultural oppression. BUT THEN I'm all like, it's not really a "neckbeard" neckbeard, but aw hell no one will care right, and then I'm FLARGHURFFGRGGHHA AAA AAAAAAHHH

I'm supposed to be working right now.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Preface: "Ah don' know wut-all happened."
Conclusion: "Here-all's wut the voices done tol' me dun happened!"
Old_Zircon
Based on a phone call to someone whose office is on the floor below Boston's FBI headquarters about a minute after the blast, I can say with some confidence that the number of BRI k shat by the FBI yesterday could build a well large enough to contain Alex Jones' entire audience.
Paracelsus
Excuse me, bearded, irrelevant asshole, but your selfish fantasy life has nothing to do with the facts at hand. Not that this will stop you; your statements never have had much to do with objective reality in any event and are more a flawed, pathetic expression of self.

I'll say it again: There is no point to a secret conspiracy to protect or enable wealth and power when the relevant business is carried out in plain sight literally all the time.
memedumpster
I have to constantly remind myself now to not direct my anger regarding the socially violent towards the mentally handicapped who vlog on YouTube. It wouldn't be fair to find their antics cute when they theorize over blatantly ridiculous outer space time travel conspiracies, but then get mad at them when they fanfic their crazy on the actual world. They can't tell the difference between the two.
Old_Zircon
Excellent point well said.

Jet Bin Fever
Well, I think the FBI has found their half-retarded patsy.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
His propensity for talking with his hands suggests Italian ancestry. Or mental illness. Is that on some sort of checklist?

Also, I imagine it smells real musty in there.
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