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Desc:'It's those 3 special words you want to hear after working hard all week long' with suction cup base
Category:Humor, Educational
Tags:sex toy, porn, masturbator, Lonely
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Comment count is 24
That guy
women will also feel embarrassed by what a lamer they would have to be to use a sex toy
Isn't it odd that it's just accepted that every woman uses crazy battery operated sex toys, but that a man owning even the most utilitarian one is somehow super creepy and gross?

There's a bit of difference between something shaped utilitarian and something shaped like a human being.

Everyone finds even fleshlights creepy and gross though, while chicks can own battery operated 3 pronged gadgets and it's totally normal.

Imagine the reactions of someone finding a fleshlight in a dude's apartment vs finding a vibrator in a woman's.

Fine, although I would point out that Fleshlights are molded to look like a vagina (to no utilitarian benefit). You should probably pick the hill you want to die on to not be made of decapitated realdolls.

That guy
Jeez Hooker, your last line is too hilarious to follow up, but I'll try.

Whether a sex toy looks like a human part or not is an overlapping question with what's weird about the cultural division between male & female sex toys, but not the same question. I'm sure you were not debating this, thought.

Uhhh...a lot of female masturbation devices look like penises.

I mean I'd be creeped out too by any masturbation device in a dude's house. I'm just fascinated to why the double standard.

I think a dildo shaped like a penis, with veins and everything, is significantly more shameful than a vibrator.

There is a distinct difference, though, in that a hand pretty much approximates a vagina while on most men, their fingers are shorter than their erect penis, and women generally have shorter fingers than men.

I agree there's a double-standard at work, but there are notable differences as well, including the fact that there aren't life-sized rubber dolls with penises.

That guy
Fine, fine, fine.

But a hand approximates a vagina like 700 miles per hour approximates the speed of light.

It's cuz men suck at sex and women know it. Women have better times with toys.

On the other hand, a man is NEVER going to have a better experience with a toy than he would a willing human

As a severed-head fetishist, I know I'm excited!

Beeblefox made a really cool version of this video, complete with dramatic music and slow-mo closeups. Sadly, his channel seems to be dead, and I can't find a mirror.
With a face like that, you won't break any hearts.
Jet Bin Fever
FINALLY. I have been waiting for this product for too too long. I hope they have one with cartoonishly big collagen injected lips and whorish makeup... because how am I supposed to fuck these plain Janes? Also, can you pop out the eyes and use the optic canal?
Oh god, the eyes at the very end of the video...the eyes...
Of all the sad bastards we're exposed to on a daily basis, I really think this guy is one of the saddest. I have no logical argument to back that up, just a feeling.
You can style their hair in many different ways.
I know!

Yellow Lantern
I love that he has the same tone and demeanor as a typical Home Shopping Network pitchman.
Shoebox Joe
Demonstrate it like you mean it!

Hey, Stanhope fucked one of these! For science!
I'm holding out for the Post-Revolution French Monarch series.
The Mothership
they couldn't even get face molds of famous starlets? weak sauce.
That guy
They got a blonde, and a brunette. What are you fancy?

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