Angus seems awfully sedate for a homicidal Scotsman.
This game isn't as fun as it looks.
CHEW NOW, MARCY
I was going to suggest Tattoo Assassins, but I don't think it was ever actually finished.
If Catfight for the PC (I think) can be nominated, that was barely playable.
I wouldn't call it the worst Mortal Kombat ripoff ever made. It's a contender, sure, but (discounting MUGEN projects and indie fan games) my vote would most likely go to Survival Arts.
Tattoo Assassins probably had the worst gameplay out of all of them, but the Nudalities and fart fatalities have to count for something. A game where you can turn Tanya Harding into a steaming pile of poo can't possibly be the worst ever. War Gods was pretty awful, too, but it had Kerri Hoskins in it, so I can't complain. Time Killers was my least favorite; I don't know what it is about that game, but I get angry just thinking about it. Subjectively, I'd say it's the worst, but objectively, you can cut a dude's arms off in midfight, so at least they were being creative. Ultra Vortek is pretty shitty, real close to Kasumi Ninja, and Way of the Warrior is even shittier, saved only by the White Zombie soundtrack. Bio FREAKS is unfairly maligned, in my opinion, same with Thrill Kill, and Bloodstorm is fucking AWESOME. I'll fight anyone whi says otherwise. MACE was the best 3D fighting game of the 90s, and The Kung Fu Master Jackie Chan is barely playable, but it's got Jackie Chan in it, so it gets my stamp of approval, too.
twinkieafternoon - you wouldn't happen to know where I can find a copy of Catfight, would you? I've been looking for it for years, for no other reason than that the cast includes people from Mortal Kombat, and it's currently at the top of my MK-memorabilia to get list.
I was never even that into real Mortal Kombat so my experience with knockoffs is limited but I can say no video could possibly convey how sluggish the controls of this game feel.
Time Killers was the kind of game that can end in 20 seconds because the fucking computer got a lucky shot at your head.
Also, I was going to get upset with you for not mentioning Primal Rage, but then I remembered that Primal Rage was objectively good and had no business on that list.
The lucky-insant-kill mechanism doesn't have to be a game breaker; the UFC Undisputed series does it well. Time Killers did not do it well.
And I didn't mention Primal Rage because I'm not a goddamn furry.
They can call themselves whatever they like and it won't make a difference, scalies are still furries. And the only character worth playing as was the Sub Zero monkey, who had FUR, so QED.
ALSO WE DON'T TECHNICALLY KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS' SKIN WAS COVERED IN, COULD BE FEATHERS, COULD BE FUR, WHO KNOWS.
Since dinosaurs were Anunnaki, my guess is suction cup tendrils ending in mouth-anuses.
Which one was Vertigo? Was she Mileena The Dinosaur?
For the deeply, deeply offensive red man scalping
All terrible and entertaining but what's the deal with that last fight?
The "sexy girl" character is just a girl in a bikini.
It seems like the Jaguar didn't have a strong lineup of games.
|The Mothership |
ach, aye. also, Alaric is an awesome name, I know a guy named Alaric.
What's Alaric's stereotype supposed to be?
Ancient Germanic warrior would be the most historically accurate guess.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Hate Crime: The Video Game
One urban myth about this game that circled the industry was that it was developed indie-style in the programmer's apartment utilizing friends/roommates as the characters. True or not, it's highly plausible and what I choose to believe.
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