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Desc:Babette is a 300 year old vampire who looks like a ten year old girl.
Category:Video Games, Humor
Tags:vampire, loli, Skyrim, not creepy at all, Babette
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:04/29/13
Views:4371
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Comment count is 18
Sexy Duck Cop
Skyrim was the first Elder Scrolls game I'd ever played, so everything about the Dark Brotherhood was a complete surprise to me. And since it took me a while to figure out how to reach them, the buildup was perfect. The sinister black door, the mysterious note, the empty house with the kid performing blasphemous rites amid a pile of human organs...it was so strikingly dark compared to the rest of the game, I loved it.

And then I finally got into the Sanctuary and the first thing I saw was five Power Rangers, their underage companion, and a lovable pet spider cracking wise about killing pedophiles.
Jet Bin Fever
Pretty much. But crawling in the coffin with mother was pretty neat, eh?

EvilHomer
Oblivion had the best Dark Brotherhood questline. I won't say much about it, because I don't want to spoil it should you decide to give Oblivion a shot, but it was definitely superior to what we got in Skyrim.

The pedophile murder story was awesome, however.

kingofthenothing
This video's a bit... eh... wrong.

But yeah, the Oblivion version of the Dark Brotherhood is sweet. There's one mission, I won't be spoiling too much by saying, that is set up like the game Clue. You're invited to a party with 5 other guests. You've got the only key to get out. Everyone there thinks there's a chest with gold in in that they have to find to get out, and of course, there is no chest. You get a bonus if you can manage to kill everyone without anyone suspecting you were the murderer all along.

What's great is you can mingle and talk to people and you pretty much find out that they all had it coming somehow. You can even get people to suspect the others once people start dying off. You can do things like steal all of the food and lay out poison apples so when people get hungry, they eat the apples and croak. Or you can murder them in their sleep. If you feel like it you can just go berserk and forfeit the bonus.

The best part of that, for me, was getting other people to suspect someone else was the murderer, triggering a fight, and them doing part of my job for me. There's just so many ways to have fun with just that one mission.

The Dark Brotherhood questline and the jobs they give you can be really detailed. There's one where you have to break back into the same prison you escaped from in the beginning of the game, to kill the guy who was talking trash about you (that's not why he has to die, it's just icing on the cake). The guard presence is insane, well, it'll make sense why when you play, but there's a lot of sneaking and sticking to the shadows necessary. The target isn't hard to kill, it's just getting there that's murder.

I found it harder to justify being an assassin in Skyrim versus Oblivion. In Oblivion, everyone you come across has really done someone wrong and has it coming, for the most part. You're only really killing bad people, and there's one exception where you have to save a jerk, but for the most part, the missions are fairly satisfying. In Skyrim it seems like the missions, and side missions, are just to take out people who were a mild annoyance. Who would commission the DB to take out a homeless guy? I mean I can see wanting to put the poor guy out of his misery but doing the whole ritual? Seriously? If they wanted the guy dead that bad it wouldn't have been that hard to just do it themselves. One poor bastard dies just because he saw two people from rival families getting intimate and managed to congratulate the girl on their love. She probably took it as if he was going to blackmail her, but he just happened to be out hunting and saw what he saw, and was dumb enough to not realize how his words might end up getting him in trouble.

I justify the Dark Brotherhood in Skyrim by telling myself it's the only kind of democracy the people really have. Sometimes the people are jerks, but it's still just about the only way the will of the people will ever get done.

Sexy Duck Cop
Debating starting Oblivion. Long story short, I recently joined the PC Master Race so I could experience the magical world of modding, and am on the tail-end of a weeklong Skyrimarathon. Even though I already bought Oblivion, I'm not sure I want to be unemployed for that long. Is it worth it? Is there anything about it demonstrably better than Skyrim?

Jet Bin Fever
Id say most of the things about Oblivion are better story wise and stuff, but I loved skyrim anyway. Oh, and I'm a sucker for scenic overlooks in games, and there are about a billion of those in Skyrim, so there's that.

EvilHomer
Well, I liked Oblivion a lot better than Skyrim, mostly because there's more stuff to do and more skills to develop. Alchemy was more complex, there was a wider range of equipment types, you had more factions to join (and these factions were generally more rewarding), spells had a much wider range of application, and of course, there was spellcrafting in the vanilla game (not sure how that's changed for Skyrim in the last year or so). With the exception of the Fighter's Guild (which is better in Skyrim), the Guild stories, quests, and rewards were better in Oblivion - the Thieves Guild, in particular. Again, don't want to spoil anything, but the Oblivion TG is badass. The world was bigger, and the scenery was more varied - it wasn't just snow, you had swamps and plains and forests and mountains, and each of the cities had it's own distinct flavor of architecture. It really gave you the illusion that you were trecking through a vast fantasy world, rather than a single small province full of vikings. There was a better mix of races, too, since it was located in the main Imperial province; I'm a Nord player myself, so I didn't mind all the Nord Power in Skyrim too much, but it was still nice to run into elves and furries now and then. Also, you don't need Steam, which is a huge plus for me.

Morrowind is, in many respects, even better than that (assuming you're looking for a more complex, immersive experience), although I didn't like the world design as much as Oblivion (too many cramped valleys), nor did I like the combat system (Morrowind uses a random roll to hit / spell fizzle mechanism, which REALLY doesn't feel right in an FPS game)

GravidWithHate
In Oblivion the dark brotherhood is like that. It's all shadowy figures coming to you in your sleep and ordering you to kill. Then you get to the sanctuary and there's an Orc dropping innuendo about how when he slept with one of the elves he kept her panties. I think that's sort of the point, of all the factions you can join in Oblivion the dark brotherhood is the most supportive and welcoming and friendly to each other and they're the murder-cult comprised of killers who worship the primal darkness that exists outside of everything.

As for the the question of Oblivion v. Skyrim, I'd be hard pressed to pick a winner. The mechanical simplification in Skyrim was annoying, but so was having to make sure I levelled up efficiently in Oblivion. The world was less diverse, although Skyrim had a giant underground Dewemer city that was amazing, but it was generally nicer to look at. There were less non-human monsters, but they were dragons and giants and mammoths oh my.

For me Oblivion is better, slightly, if you also have the Shivering Isles expansion installed and really like playing with the mechanics of RPGs.

Chocolate Jesus
Oof.
Xenocide
I just watched this video. How long do I have until the cops arrive?
Caminante Nocturno
20 years and counting.

Jet Bin Fever
DAMNIT, YOULL LOOK AT ME BABETTE! LOOK AT ME!

chumbucket
Oh so this is what all that was about
Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Reminiscent of Asian meat market porn on any of the various streaming sites. A hapless Thai prostitute going through the motions with a deadpan face while pleasuring fat hairy expats or sex tourists .
deadpan
Don't drag me into this.

memedumpster
Virtual Boxxy.
Syd Midnight
The Nexus mod forums are so bad they've fueled two megathreads on Something Awful. And Nexus isn't even the Bad Place (that would be LoversLabs). There's an endless supply of TES evil out there

For me, a really low/evil moment wasn't a loli or sex mods, but a mod called "Less Sexual Female Armor" whose author got chased off of Nexus for the crime of making female armor look realistic.

IRL women wear pretty much the same armor as men: http://madartlab.com/2011/12/14/fantasy-armor-and-lady-bits/
Caminante Nocturno
A look that says she's done this a lot. The things you can buy from her confirm this even more.
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