kingarthur  - 2013-05-03
SLAAAAYYYYEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR YEEEEEEEAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!
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Pillager - 2013-05-03
Now I know what my neighbors will be enjoying tonight.
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Jet Bin Fever - 2013-05-03
SLAYER RULES!!! YEAH SLAYER WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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EvilHomer - 2013-05-03
I'll never forget the first time I went to see Slayer. It was me and four of my friends. We were all psyched to go; we spent WEEKS doing all kinds of macho teenager shit, y'know, to angry ourselves up and get ready for the pits. Because, and you metalheads can back me up on this, pits take a lot of prep work, especially when you know you're going up against Massholes, drunk, stupid, and pumped as FUCK on account of SLAAAAAYYYYEEER.
But the day of the concert, one of our friends was running late. Couple dudes left to go pick him, and I'm thinking, hey, I got some to kill until they get back. Why don't I see what's on TV?
Turns out what was on TV was Jewel. Jewel, in concert, singing Christmas songs with Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Hoooolllly Fluttershy. It was the sweetest, most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It was like the weight of the last three weeks just lifted right off my shoulders. Like, all the angst and aggression that had been clouding my mind was just wiped away by that sweet angel's tender voice. She had a halo around her head, swear to God, a goddamn halo! It was amazing! I was so relaxed, so at peace, that I took off my Children of Bodom sweatshirt, grabbed my blanket and just lay there. Lay there watching Jewel.
And that's how my friends found me, curled up on the sofa, beaming from ear to ear, mug of cocoa in my hands and my feetsies all snug and warm under a blanket, black metal arm studs and combat boots forgotten on the floor beside me, while Jewel, halo and everything, sang Silent Night. I told 'em I changed my mind, I told 'em I just didn't feel like going to the concert anymore. I was just too relaxed.
They made me go to the concert anyway. I hated it.
Stupid fucking Slayer.
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Gmork - 2013-05-03 "holy fluttershy" and "stupid fucking slayer"
this is no longer a facepalm. i have pushed it past the back of my skull now.
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Old_Zircon - 2013-05-03 Jewel would have made me so much angrier.
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EvilHomer - 2013-05-03 Angrier? No way, man. I drew the line at Michael Bolton, but Jewel was always cool. She was like Nightwish, only without all the annoying loud guitars!
And Gmork, if it makes you feel any better, I bet Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are Slayer fans.
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EvilHomer - 2013-05-03 This isn't the same performance, but you get the idea:
http://www.youtu be.com/watch?v=agvC00nJtCc
Now THAT'S some motherfucking prog metal country Christmas. How could Slayer possibly top that?!
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Old_Zircon - 2013-05-03 I know you're trolling but god damn it, I had to remember Jewel.
I can get behind some crappy crap, I mean like Enya or The Verve, or Seal or ICP or Greg Ginn's horrible jam band, but Jewel is too far.
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EvilHomer - 2013-05-03 The sad part is, I'm serious about my wingboner for Jewel. I was ripshit pissed when she sold out during the ironic-only-not-really Intuition era. I never bought any of her albums, because I had a rep to maintain, but I did get a burned copy of Foolish Games from my girlfriend, which I kept hidden under my bed in the spot porn would usually go.
Did you know she used to be a yodeling Alaskan rapper, and lived in her car?
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EvilHomer - 2013-05-03 Sorry, Pieces of You. Some Jewel fan I am! More like EvilPOSER, amirite?
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Gmork - 2013-05-04 I _like_ jewel, but this is just sad
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Gmork - 2013-05-04
it's like hearing kids who dont know about sex try to explain it to other kids who know even less
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