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Desc:The hot new activity for internet crazies! Now your imaginary friends can be real, because BUDDHISM!
Category:Religious, Pets & Animals
Tags:Buddhism, waifu, brony, tulpa, People-Insane
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:05/06/13
Views:2668
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Comment count is 32
Jet Bin Fever
As a former Buddhist, this is a bunch of bullshit.
The Mothership
this is an AMAZING bunch of bullshit. this is bullshit art.

urbanelf
It's Bullshido.

Shoebox Joe
The most I know about Buddhism is the cliffnotes version of "finding the center" which is poorly presented in this video.

Seriously, I just did a better representation of Buddhism just with the words "finding the center".

Shoebox Joe
Ah yes, the cure for isolation. Validation through mysticism and ancient culture. Just like natural holistic medicine "from" the Native Indians!
Shoebox Joe
Also, easier to remember things? Sounds similar to giving your life and will to the hands of the lord, if you ask me.

BHWW
Most of the Tulpa nonsense I've seen on the internet recently has been bronies wondering if they could summon up the cartoon horsies they desparately want to love, or a bunch of bullshit related to that Slenderman bullshit.

Side note: I recently came across a copy of the late horror writer J.N. Williamson's novel 1980 The Tulpa - the tulpa in this case is the unwitting creation of an elderly man who has begun to develop psychic powers after his health deteriorates severly in the wake of a stroke and is later diagnosed with Alzheimer's - he unintentionally creates a psychic powered double that begins to kill people in increasingly gruesome ways.
SteamPoweredKleenex
That was kind of an episode of "Supernatural" recently, I think. An old guy (played by Mike Farrell) started doing psychic weirdness in a similar fashion, except his was based on Warner Brothers cartoons.

Xenocide
When I was little my dad had one of those big thick Reader's Digest compilation books that you sent away for (with this SPECIAL TV OFFER.) It was called Mysteries of the Unknown and it was jam-packed with all sorts of "true" stories of ghosts and aliens and magic and other shit, almost all unsourced.

Anyway, there was a bit in there about a tulpa, written by a woman who claimed she had lived with some Tibetan monks for several years, and become so good at meditation that she was able to make a tulpa (a little monk that sat on her shoulder) that was tangible, visible to others, and capable of interacting with the physical world.

Then it stopped obeying her commands and became sadistic and violent. She was worried it was going to kill someone if left unchecked, so she spent the next several months meditating it to death.

So don't blame me when we're neck-deep in psychotic tangible Pinkie Pies. I fucking warned you.

(Besides, if these people made Applejacks we wouldn't in this mess. She'd never turn on us. She's from the real America.)

BiggerJ
Holy shit, I have a copy of Mysteries of the Unknown somewhere and my local library has a copy. 2SPOOKY4ME /x/ /x/ /x/ /x/ /x/

EvilHomer
"Dangerous tulpas" are considered a major problem and taken very seriously by the online tulpa community.

Making a tulpa Pinkie Pie is just plain reckless. Pinkie Pie's already got some creepy fourth-wall powers, so what happens when your Pinkie tulpa starts making Pinkie tulpa copies of herself? And those Pinkie tulpa copies make their own Pinkie tulpa copy tulpa copies?

cognitivedissonance
Yeah, and this was that lady. And there's no way she wasn't crazy, not with those crazy nutter eyes.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Louise_Euge nie_Alexandrine_Marie_David_19th_century.gif

Caminante Nocturno
What if you make a tulpa of Talpa from Ronin Warriors?

Boy, we'd all be in trouble then, let me tell you.

EvilHomer
Not to worry, Caminante. Then we just make a Lady Kayura tulpa and kick his ass.

And then afterwards we can bang her.

Old_Zircon
I used to have a 50s book about hypnosis written for laypeople (I got it because it was free and had a really, really great cover) and at one point the author describes using self hypnosis to allow himself to hallucinate a sheepdog at will, and then having problems with the sheep dog showing up when he didn't want it to for a couple of months.

Seven Arts/H8 Red
The only legitimate use for a tulpa is to make sure people don't escape an apartment building, when it's flipping on its axis in time! Real George, dig?

cognitivedissonance
None of you have Prime 5 and Spirit 5. L2cast.
Blue
Every time I hear this I just wanna scream "Daddy Troy Bulletin-Board is back!"

That's exactly how I imagine every Tulpa. Troy Bulletin Board imitating Pinky Pie, only all the sex they have is gay, not as in happy but more as in it's impossible to imagine having sex with a lady if you haven't ever touched a vagina.
SolRo
"Imaginary friends for adults"

No.

Just adding 'for adults' at the end doesn't make it true.


(unless it's some weird porno.)
Cena_mark
If tulpas are possible we should be seeing some ponies soon. There could even be some pony tulpas now considering the dedication of the fandom.
Maybe that's where RD from the My Little Dashy story comes from? Its one of the legendary fanfics in the FIM fandom where some dork finds Rainbow Dash abandoned in a box. Maybe she was an abandoned tulpa all along!
EvilHomer
I'm really bummed that one didn't make it out of the hopper, because My Little Dashie really does belong here. It's a 15,000 word fanfic about a lonely, friendless nerd who raises a cartoon pony to be his daughter and cries a lot, for chrissake!

I don't want to spoil it for you, but if you make it to the end, it turns out Dashie's not a tulpa. She got blasted into IRL by a pony spell that backfired or something. Celestia shows up with AJ and the gang and they explain the whole thing, about fifteen minutes before it ends.

EvilHomer
I'd also like to add that I didn't have the courage to sit through MLD until well after I started watching the show in earnest, and I think the reception MLD gets within the fandom neatly illustrates why, despite being a total pony-show watching faggot now, I still don't consider myself "a brony", and probably never will.

The Brony response to MLD has been overwhelmingly positively. They like it, they really, really, un-ironically like it. They consider it to be one of the saddest, most heartfelt tales in the English language. Nearly everyone who reviews it says it's brilliant, and says it made them cry. Cry! Come the BUCK ON, people!

If anything, MLD makes me *mad*. Really mad. I mean, here's this dork who finds a helpless filly Dash and takes it upon himself to be a father and raise her as his daughter for fifteen years, to teach her values, to raise her right. Now, as we all know, Rainbow Dash is one of the the toughest, most confident, most badass ponies in Equestria, a pony full of life and energy and boundless potential just waiting to be explored. And what does this guy do? He goes and turns her into a carbon-copy of HIMSELF; a boring, crying, children's-cartoon-show-watching loser. Oh, can't let you go outside, but I can let you sit on the couch and watch The Hub with me! That selfish little fuck.

I'm sorry, but any merits that story might have had went right out the window as soon as it became apparent that Dashie was growing up to be a totally mare-filly. I tell ya, if I was Princess Celestia? When I showed up? I wouldn't have been all, "Oh thank you, Sir Brony, for raising Dashie as your daughter, even though she was different from you! You are so considerate and kind and selfless and wank wank wank Nice Guy fantasy wish-fulfillment" No, I would've shouted "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO RAINBOW DASH?!? You ruined her, you filly-abusing bastard!", then I'd kick him in the face with my mighty alicorn hooves.




Plus, who the hell writes a 15,000 word RD wish-fulfillment fic without ANY clop scene whatsoever?

?!

SteamPoweredKleenex
I don't think we'll get ponies. I think we'll get eldrich abominations from beyond our limited perception of the universe.

I mean, look at the internet and what it creates as "art," overall. If the average nettizen could make tulpas, it'd be like giving a ten-year-old a bunch of clay and expecting something that wasn't a broken, misshapen pile of sad that'd make you want to end its misery.

Cena_mark
Wow, that's far worse than I expected. I totally agree that the MLD Reading belongs here. I skipped about through it and the weepy narrator voice certainly made it awful. I never read it and never will and its shit like that that makes damn sure I'll never label myself as a brony.

EvilHomer
I'll try submitting it again later, once the ponyphobes calm down a bit. It was at +6 votes before they caught on. Tarnation!

It's really bad, and while I wouldn't exactly "recommend" listening to the whole thing, I'd recommend listening to the whole thing, at least as background noise while you get some chores done or something. I will say, to it's credit, that the guy who does that dramatic reading does a really bang up job. And it's one of the better written fanfics I've seen - but that's not to say it's particularly *well* written, and within the first five minutes it becomes painfully (and hilariously!) obvious that the author has no frame of reference outside of cartoon shows and internet memes. (here's a fun drinking game: every time he says "my heart exploded" or discusses the time slots of his favorite Saturday morning cartoon shows, chug a beer!)

It IS very bleak and depressing; you really do get a feel for what an utterly lonely, sad sack of shit the author is. In that sense, with a bit of reading between the lines, I guess it is a pretty tragic story, and a more compassionate person than I might be moved to shed tears of pity for the poor fellow. But I don't think he intended it to be read that way; it's supposed to be a "sad fic", yet he's clearly hoping that the sadness we feel will flow naturally from a series of maudlin "conflicts" he throws at us. For example, one of the major conflicts the author deals with is this: what would happen if Dashie watches an episode of My Little Pony on television? Obviously, seeing herself on a cartoon show would be very confusing and distressing for the young horse! (obviously) So distressing, in fact, that it might RUIN THE RELATIONSHIP that they've built up for years oh me oh my. Now you might say, well, why not just get rid of the TV? Or block all the channels that carry My Little Pony? But watching The Hub is the author's only real hobby, and since he won't let her out of the house, it's Dashie's only real hobby, too! OOOOO, CONFLICT! ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY INVESTED YET?!

It keeps slipping between pretentious expository melodrama (My parents died! I must wrestle with my responsibilities as a father! Rainbow is so ANGSTY!) and these utterly insipid situations (oh look a talking cartoon horse in a box!). It's ridiculous, it's like a bathos machine gun. A .50 caliber, vehicle mounted, zero'd to 800m bathos machine gun. Every time he gets going, piling on the EMOTION! like a soap opera script writer on horse crank, BAM comes another eye-roller about how Dashie just set off his neighbor's car alarm with a Sonic Rainboom, or some shit.


UUUUUAAUGGGHHHHH




... I gotta get to bed.

Old_Zircon
In the related videos:
Bronies: Men Who Love Ponies (The Basics)
Diagnosing and Treating Schizophrenia (Schizophrenia #2)
Caminante Nocturno
"I can create a living, sentient being with my mind! I think I'll have them just fritter away their lives lounging about my filthy, laundry-covered house"
Bort
I am reminded of this bit from "Crossballs" (where everyone, except for grey mustache guy and long black hair guy, are comedians posing as experts):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFmFkuw6yIU#t=8m6s
Old_Zircon
Cross balls is so good.

Bort
I remain amazed that there wasn't executive meddling along the lines of, "You know what would REALLY make this funny? If Chris Tallman were as crazy as the guests!"

ashtar.
I submitted this in march and it failed the hopper. I hate you people.
SteamPoweredKleenex
You didn't believe in it enough.

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