|The Mothership |
WHAT'S THIS! SOME KIND OF TUBE?
For fuck's sake. A celluar phone means a phone that is connected to a celluar network. That it can do other things doesn't make it not a cell phone. My can opener has a bottle opener on it, but it's still a fucking can opener.
The English language desperately needs a word for false insight (or someone should tell me the word if it exists): the kind of thing that has all the language of insight but is really just someone, wilfully or not, missing an obvious fucking point.
The word you're looking for is "pedantry." I'm kind of surprised that we didn't start calling it "gingriching" more than a decade ago, though.
Pedantry is far too broad a word. I mean that we need a word for this very specific thing so that people start thinking about the concept more actively. You can be pedantic and correct. We need a word for being pedantic and actively trying confuse things.
Ah, but what happens when I switch my phone to airplane mode, so Angry Birds Star Wars can't stream video ads while I'm trying to play? It's not connected to a cellular network then, now is it. So what do you call THAT, smart guy?!
I propose the name, Gingrich VideoBox.
This is the hubris to think every idle thought of yours is a revelation, or he's totally high.
I got over that phase in my teens, guess that's why I'll never be a successful politician.
Damn the no edit....
Gingrich Ass Cheek Spacer
Imagine the bizzaro world where this asshole got elected president.
Is he going to tell us about the time he invented kissing to pass diseases to other people?
This is what happens when rich politicians have too much time on their hands.
Who says conservatives can't do comedy? They write most of John Stewart's material.
From the party of Lincoln & Eisenhower to this?
Entropy is a bitch.
I like to fuck with Republicans by telling them that all the great pre-southern strategy Republicans are truly Democrats by today's standards. If you take away Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Ike from them that just leaves them with Tricky Dick, St. Ronnie, and the Bushes.
Trolling be damned. That wouldn't be too far off, seeing as much of the Republican Party is made up of old guard FDR Democrats who bolted once the New Left decided The Party wasn't in favor of white privilege anymore.
May 10th? You mean he recorded it this month? He uploaded it on purpose? Those around him let him do so?
Jeeeezus fuck-Christ. Not voting for anything he has to do with isn't enough. I need a way to cast anti-votes to make sure he's deported or something.
|Koda Maja |
Newt's only a couple tangents off from Andy Rooney like old-man-raving territory.
Rooney was more like your cantankerous grandpa, griping about how things were better in the old days.
Gingrich is like your crazy old next-door neighbor who not only doesn't understand things that have happened in the past two decades, he's almost to the point where he'd believe aliens are behind anything with an LED in it.
gingrich is that person you might know in your life that likes to act like they're fucking geniuses because a sales rep at best buy taught them a new buzzword. but they completely lose their shit if cornered or contradicted.
obviously they fuck up every tech related purchase in their life, but will defend it like the Alamo.
|Urkel Forever |
The real kicker for me is not that he doesn't know the name of such a device but he clearly thinks he has a lot of insight when he says, hey, these Gingrich-phones are full of potential. Welcome to ten years ago.
Also, Andy Rooney was actually smart and interesting (if full of bizarre old man rants). Gingrich is not very smart but thinks he is.
Yep, just checked the big 3 carrier websites. They all list these under "WTF ARE THESE?!"
Wait, no, I read that wrong. They all have them categorized as "smartphones."
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