You forgot "Insert Dreamworks face here"

This one's actually a record for them. Every character on the poster is doing it:

http://professorbel.tumblr.com/ post/49737007097/dreamworks-face-the-movie

RAKISH EYEBROWS

IN 3D!!

Well, always leave 'em laughing, I say.

And they're influencing a whole generation of kids to like this terrible crap and ask for more.

I'm not gonna say my generation had better taste or stuff available, but when I was a kid the movie I popped into the VCR every morning at 5am was Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I dunno, I had some doozies growing up in the 90's. Videos I watched enough times that the actual tape stopped working:

- The Land Before Time
- The Incredible Crash Dummies CG cartoon
- The Incredible Journey
- The Rescuers: Down Under

Not exactly pure gold.

Still, compared to any Dreamworks movie, they are masterworks.

Star Wars, The Dark Crystal, The Secret of Nimh come to mind as movies I watched on repeat as a small child...yeah...I think Nominal and I are clearly in the money generation for "quality stuff kids watched so much they broke the VHS tape".

Fuck yes Dark Crystal!

And was there ever a more perfect kid's adventure movie than Goonies?

THIS MOVIE IS CRAP WHEN I WAS A KID WE WATCHED BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS AND STARCRASH AND THAT WAS THE PINNACLE OF QUALITY

Fedex, given how tiny their budgets were, they were masterpieces of economy.

We listed movies that are still considered classics as kids then you flip the script listing old movies?

I don't think that's how jokes work.

Whoo boy.

A spinoff that originally starred Jon Cryer (from Two And A Half Men) who was replaced with Dane Cook when the movie needed more star appeal.

I don't know if the blame goes to the Shrek movies for starting the trend, but all-star cartoon voice acted films is always distracting for me.
I'm sure professional voice actors don't care for it either.

What's worse about the Shrek films is that they became a trend towards "edgy topical humor" in animated films. Animated movies need to have a longer shelf life to justify their costs, I think, and when you make a script out of pop culture references that are already stale halfway through the movie's theatrical run, it's going to just confuse people a year or so later.

I also dislike Mike Meyers' idea of humor intensely, but that's just my own cross to bear.

There's no way that Disney would be stupid enough to kill the cash cow that is Pixar by running it the way they did their own animation oh god I can't even finish.

It's not Pixar. They're basically licensing "the world of Cars" to some other CGI studio.

I wonder if the animation costs on movies like Cars and Planes are lower because there's (conceivably) less animation because the characters are a lot more rigid than flesh-like characters?

Disney has been using celebrity voice actors for as long as they existed, you just don't notice because it's pop culture several generations removed.

It was more limited to one, maybe two "special guests" (like Louie Armstrong in Jungle Book, or Robin Williams in Aladdin). The norm being 100% stars is pretty recent.

That was started by Toy Story. Clueless uncreative execs saw that movie be a success and figured it had to be because of star power.

Stars who became popular before the kid audience was even bored putting their voices behind animated cartoons.

That was "Fly Me to the Moon" and it featured Buzz Aldrin as himself. I can't hate anything he's ever done too badly.

You guys all go nuts over the cuttlefish and the puffer fish. I beg to differ: Snails have the googly eyes and therefore are cute.

And this movie just looks mediocre, not aggressively bad as far as Dreamworks' catalog goes.

I think the slugs in Flushed Away were a far worse idea...and the rats. That movie was really revolting, actually.

Too big to fail.

Rocky movies are meaningless unless he wins at the end!

"The idea came when I decided to redo The Tortoise and the Hare then stopped to wonder how I could rape it of any meaning."