|Caminante Nocturno - 2013-06-23 |
Stop talking in the middle of church, you jackass!
|yogarfield - 2013-06-23 |
manson, teresa, and you.
|boner - 2013-06-23 |
Pretty sure the NSA is wiretapping this Jesus guy.
|THA SUGAH RAIN - 2013-06-23 |
God does not grade on a curve. Your sophomore stats professor was more forgiving than god himself.
|IrishWhiskey - 2013-06-23 |
Jesus also said that only a few thousand would be allowed into heaven, specifically the Jews who were around at the time, and that the end of the world would come within the lifetime of those people.
But we're skipping over all that I guess, to tell you that you are all sick and only by living the way I tell you to live, can you be healed of this illness I just made up. That includes taking off that yellow hat, you dirty slut.
"The Resurrection is the most well documented event in history. Legal experts say it would stand up in a court of law today."
I gotta try that next time: Your honor while I have no direct evidence or testimony as to how the victim died, I do have the letters of this man who, decades later, wrote that he met the victim. This man is a self-confessed murderer suffering from delusions who claims magic powers himself. At least half his testimony is actually forged.
Don't worry though, I can supplement his testimony with several sources from decades later. These also aren't firsthand, and get basic details of the time and place wrong, in addition to contradicting each other and the original source, as well as historical evidence. Well, to be more specific, I can supplement it with what people centuries later claim these people wrote.
I know you may be looking for more contemporary sources, but strangely all the historians and messianic movements of the era missed these events, including the sun going out and a zombie horde arising and being seen by many. However I do have a Shroud from the 14th century that some people think looks a bit like what they imagine Jesus as, so that's proof enough.
|badideasinaction - 2013-06-23 |
You know, 80s and 90s fundamentalism almost seems quaint and cute now...
It was only a few years ago that it seemed sinister that TV in real life was starting to look like TV in Robocop. These days, TV in Robocop would be a big improvement.
|kingarthur - 2013-06-24 |
I was expecting a personal response to all of our chucklefuckery here. I know we had that one crazy lady from way back who actually made a response video to us, but has anyone done it since then?
(And I'm sorry I said I wanted to break her fingers back then, though I'm sure she deserved it)
And did Mr. Rottenfeet ever get to sign up or is the approval process still stuck in limbo?
(Sorry I don't know your name, Mr. Rottenfeet, I just used a nickname everyone would remember)
|chumbucket - 2013-06-24 |
Didn't this all just roll into the whole rapture clause? If your clothes aren't lying about in the pile that was you...you're in hell.
|Kieran27 - 2013-06-24 |
“We all think Mother Theresa is a saint, and in comparison to us she is.”
Um... No. No, have to disagree with you on that.
|That guy - 2013-06-24 |
In that mom's defense, that girl was dressed like a trollop.
Anyway, a little EST and Francis Anfuso will be right as rain.
|Uulanbaatorbaby - 2013-06-24 |
Well, at least they recognised other beliefs and said they did not wish to offend. Today that would be POLITICAL CORECTNESS! and SPINELESS APPEASMENT! respectively.
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