|Killer Joe |
If you are strong, you can be strong!
Those other farm animals are good sports about, you know, the abuse.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Making a shitty movie like this for kids is much worse than making garbage for adults. Kids don't have the ability to choose and have it forced upon them, where it mentally abuses them for the rest of their lives. You can never go back after watching a talking animal movie. I was lucky that the closest I had as a child was Milo and Otis, which is like Casablanca compared to this bullshit.
When i was like 8 i saw movies like Robocop, The Hitcher, Death Wish 3, and a bunch of Shaw Brothers and other Hong Kong action movies on vhs. Those were the days.
THA SUGAH RAIN
My uncle took me to Robocop around the same age to get out babysitting me and that made him the coolest guy ever. If someone ever took me to this nightmare factory I'd never forgive them.
Yeah, I think I was like 10 when my parents showed me Aliens on HBO, because they'd seen it in the theater and thought it was too good for me to put off seeing it any longer. My parents were pretty great parents, even though they covered my eyes during the chest bursting scene and when Bishop gets torn in half.
I am so glad I was inundated with Empire Strikes Back, Gremlins, Alien, the Black Hole, Saturn 3, and the old school nudity ridden Candid Camera as a child. Between Vincent, Gizmo, Ripley, Han Solo, Hector, and that blonde who pumps gas with no shirt or bra on, I had all the right role models.
Buddha stretched out a paw toward B-Dawg.
"Of course, dogg. You gotta protect Captain Canine's new utopia. One more body chillin' in the foundation don't make no difference."
"Whatchu waitin' for, dogg?!" B-Dawg tore off his silver facemask. Always hated that shit. "Do it!"
Buddha frowned. "B-Dawg..."
|The New Meat |
I have a good friend who is obsessed with cataloging all the bizarre dog racism in the Buddies franchise and, to a lesser degree, dog movies in general. There's a lot of it.
STRONG LIKE PUPPEH EH EH
|Oscar Wildcat |
My neighbor's dog is constantly escaping his yard and running into the cow pasture to execute his superpower of rolling around in the cow shit. He's a little chihuahua, biut after that you'd never go near him if he came around. That's a dog superpower.
|Boomer The Dog |
My favorite Super Dog would have to be Chomps, C.H.O.M.P.S. the Canine Home Protection system, a robot security Dog. It was an unforgettable scene in the film when Chomps jumped up in slow motion and kicked the burglars' van over as they were trying to get away.
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