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Category:Educational, News & Politics
Tags:conspiracy, NWO, fema, disposable coffins, guillotines
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:06/28/13
Views:2434
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Comment count is 26
sasazuka
I've been hearing about these FEMA concentration camps for the best part of 20 years (dating back to my days of listening to shortwave radio, the best place to be exposed to crazy before I got the web). If these FEMA extermination camps exist (spoiler: they don't), they're about the worst kept secret in all of conspiracy-dom.
Mr. Purple Cat Esq.
I love that the makers of deus ex took all this 'lore' and threw it in their game to give it more depth

sasazuka
Oh, here's a great thread at Metabunk.org showing the history of the "U.S. government buys guillotines" urban legend. Dates back to at least the early 1990s, based on nothing but hearsay.

http://metabunk.org/threads/1812-Debunked-Government-buys-30-0 00-guillotines

cognitivedissonance
From whom would they buy guillotines, anyway? There's not really a corporate vendor for that.

Caminante Nocturno
Cutco's long-neglected guillotine department is finally justifying its existence.

spikestoyiu
When are FEMA, the NWO, and the Illuminati finally going to get their shit together? I've been hearing about their shenanigans forever, they've been leaving clues to their existence just about everywhere, and they haven't done squat.

memedumpster
The Illuminati still polls higher than Congress on job performance.

Caminante Nocturno
How much do you think the NWO is going to pay their guillotine operators? I really wish the conspiracy theorists gave out that kind of information.
SteamPoweredKleenex
It'll all be done with robots. Modernization has ruined the execution business, let me tell you. Even the traditional "two taps to the hat" kill has been outsourced to drones. Fuckers.

Syd Midnight
The best trolling tactic really is to approach these conspiracies from a job-seeking perspective. They can't call it out without saying "nobody genuinely wants to do this" and that creates a short circuit when it mixes with the rest of the shit in their brain.

The best rebuttal I got was that once Obama's secret FEMA army puts everyone into death camps, Obama will create an even secret-er army to put THEM into death camps, and so on.

Spaceman Africa
Finally I can buy a Chanel guillotine to go with this purse
Potter
.tomsachs.org/work/chanel-guillotine-breakfast-noo

I love the idea that the Gov't contracted 30,000 copies of anti-corporate art, from a guy who is probably on at least a few watch-lists after handing out live ammunition at a gallery in NYC, c1999.

5 stars for crazy

EvilHomer
Good. All these years FEMA's been farting around NOT guillotining people, 'bout time they stopped wasting my tax dollars and got something done.
Killer Joe
OH MAN, I CAN ALREADY HEAR THE FEMADRONES SAYING THAT "WE'RE JUST BEING READY FOR SOME KIND OF MAJOR NATURAL DISASTER THAT MIGHT CAUSE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DEATHS! THE LOGISTICAL CHALLENGES OF DISASTER RESPONSE REQUIRES READINESS THAT MAY SEEM GRIM, BUT IS A PART OF SOUND GOVERNANCE!" THE POOR FOOLS!
THA SUGAH RAIN
We've got robots that kill people from the sky and you think we're using guillotines?
spikestoyiu
Retro is cooler than ever!

Hey, remember the NES???

Kieran27
But when the power fails due to government upheaval they can't use their drones so they need a system of execution that's powered only by muscle, is a proven system, and can be made into a spectacle for the crowds. The guillotine is not the perfect solution but it is the best they have on short notice.

If only we had some way of sending small pieces of metal flying at soft squishy bodies with enough force to cause lethal damage. Then we could execute loads of people at once instead of one at a time. But that's just a dream, gotta go with guillotines.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Well no, see the Illuminati just do it that way, because like, I think they were responsible for the French Revolution. Look they just like guillotines and weather machines. Stop with your ridiculous inquisition and search for facts!

Redford
I think the best part of this particular conspiracy theory is that the top ten or twenty or whatever percent of the USA want to kill everyone else because it means they would get more stuff. Except that the USA is a large and important country in the global economy. This means that by destroying the economy they would make the money in the country they live in useless because they would be destroying their own economy. And before you say "Oh, they are just invested in euros!" keep in mind that crashing the US economy would at best harm foreign economies (we owe our national debt to someone!) and and worst destroy a couple.

So they would literally be destroying their own fortunes in order to somehow make more money.
memedumpster
Goddammit, I got laughed out of the bank for wanting to take out a loan to create a modern guillotine company. So, now some dumb military contractor is making guillotines?

What free market!?
SchlongChimp
For "desentenize" @:31
Cherry Pop Culture
Fuck me dead. Last semester, I took scriptwriting and in the beginning, we were supposed to bring in a news story or trivia for "show and tell." One woman brought this shit in. I groaned the loudest and others were trying to figure out where the fuck she got in information. It was some right-wing conspiracy site, natch. I don't think any of us took her seriously again.
Riskbreaker
The funny thing is that both the extreme left and the extreme right believe in this bs.

Cherry Pop Culture
Y'know, you do bring up a good point. I don't know if it has been because I am willfully ignorant or it's my Facebook feed, but there are some left wing pages that are mostly conspiracy theories/death to Israel and the Jews living there/death to Big Pharma stuff. It makes me uncomfortable. The best one was a Che page with anti-Semetic pics. Which is funny because a lot of social liberals and communists were and are ethnically Jewish.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Che isn't just a left-wing symbol anymore. He's been adopted by just about every wing you could imagine (even skinheads). Che is on his way to being another Guy Fawkes: Folk hero to anyone who wants to overthrow whoever is in charge for whatever reason, never mind that their actual motives and/or history.

RockBolt
Guillotines seem really inefficient, even for FEMA
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