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Desc:Pastor Vernon Billings will be reincarnated as Escherichia coli
Category:Religious
Tags:christianity, rapture, Heaven, HoneydewWilkins, baby snatcher
Submitted:kamlem
Date:07/17/13
Views:1098
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Comment count is 19
Mister Yuck - 2013-07-18
My home town! Never heard of this guy or his church though. Is this part of the Left Behind franchise?
THA SUGAH RAIN - 2013-07-18
Fuck this guy. Unborn children still carry original sin and without baptism will serve in purgatory for at least half an eternity with all the other sinners like masturbators and profanity users.
sasazuka - 2013-07-18
What's half of an eternity? Isn't that still eternity? Is that what Catholics actually believe about purgatory?

SolRo - 2013-07-18
half of eternity is 3/8ths of infinity, or 42 kilograms.

fulakarp - 2013-07-18
Not to be too pedantic, but this flavor of Christianity does not believe in purgatory.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2013-07-18
fulakarp, you ignorant slut. There is but one true definition of Christianity and it includes the books of Tobit, Judith, parts of Esther, 1 and 2 Maccabees, Wisdom, Sirach, Baruch, and the parts of Daniel hell-bound Presbyterians were taught by the devil to not accept. It is impossible for Christianity to have multiple interpretations because it was all laid out by the infallible son of god and his perfect plan.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-07-18
I know a whole eternity is some fraction of a Twilight, but I can't be arsed to do the math.

Bort - 2013-07-18
According to Catholics, infants went to limbo (unofficial teaching), not purgatory (official teaching). However, purgatory was/is an entirely escapable situation; while it's not clear how much time it took on average to leave purgatory, purgatory being in a timeless condition and all, its intention was to be entirely transitory.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines purgatory as "a state of final purification after death and before entrance into heaven for those who died in God's friendship, but were only imperfectly purified; a final cleansing of human imperfection before one is able to enter the joy of heaven."

So basically, purgatory is where you learn to stop masturbating.

boner - 2013-07-18
Purgatory is what I do before a colonoscopy, and it does help with stopping my masturbating.

Cena_mark - 2013-07-18
Fuck this guy, but he ain't a Catholic. You need to know your breeds of Christians better. Its the Evangelicals and Baptists who obsess nonstop over Rapture fantasies. And if you ask them they'll say Catholics will be left behind too, because they say the Pope will be down with the Anti-Christ. Some go as far as to say the Catholic Church is the Whore of Babylon.
Fulakarp is right. These nutters don't believe in Purgatory and put it down as more evil Catholic lies. I was Catholic and it would piss me off how much hate these guys have them.

boner - 2013-07-18
^ Yes I happen to have pentecostal friends, they think catholics are fuckin nuts if not evil. Of course I also discovered that there are other pentecostal churches and they think the same thing about each other too.

gravelstudios - 2013-07-18
@ CenaMark & Boner: I've been to evangelical fundamentalists churches where the official position is that the Catholic church is a cult.

Also, even they argue among themselves over pre-tribulation vs. mid-tribulation vs. post-tribulation rapture, so this video does not necessarily represent the views of all fundies.

SolRo - 2013-07-18
In case of rapture why would I give a fuck about your tape, unless it tells me where to find a cache of weapons, ammo, food and gasoline.
Innocent Bystander - 2013-07-18
See, this is why we need to stop hiring Christian police officers and firefighters. We're up cack-alley if one day they just up 'n' disappear on us!
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-07-18
There was another one of these up here a while ago (http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=99406) where the preacher was completely condemnatory and an asshole. So, this is a nice change of tone at least.
The God of Biscuits - 2013-07-18
*This is what Christians actually believe

And moreover they think all it's coming in their lifetimes
Cena_mark - 2013-07-18
So of course there's no point in taking care of the environment.

memedumpster - 2013-07-18
It's not good enough that Christians get to sit on God's left nut and watch sinners suffer for all eternity, no, they have to leave a snarky fucking message behind about how right they are.

God, we all agree that Paradise must begin with the removal of all Your fucking idiots from the earth, why aren't You doing it?
Scrimmjob - 2013-07-18
So all the Christians will disappear in the blink of an eye? Damn, is there any way we can make this rapture happen sooner?
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