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Desc:Too Word of God for 73Q.
Category:Religious, Science & Technology
Tags:Rap, Bible, phone, Christian, bears ate all 42
Submitted:memedumpster
Date:07/30/13
Views:1039
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Comment count is 23
DerangedGoblin
Gomma babow babow! Omma fow! Omma fow!
Ocyrus
Watched the first minute hoping this would be Jon LaJoie-esque.
jangbones
I loved Bubble Bobble
Rodents of Unusual Size
Where yo Bible at, foo?
Old_Zircon
I love the message - now you don't have to actually study or even read the bible to debate theology because you can just search for stuff and use it out of context to support your arguments.

Surprisingly honest, actually.

I also like the "don't get translations, get the American Standard" part.
bac
He didn't entirely say that. He did however compare his preferred translation of the scriptures to his preferred method of disposing of urine and fecal matter...Which is almost as good.

Old_Zircon
He didn't say that word for word, but substantially that's what it meant.

TeenerTot
OFFICIAL

Like anyone would rip it off.
Jet Bin Fever
BOBBLE BOBBLE ON MA PHAWN
chumbucket
READ A BOOK READ A BOOK READ THIS M'FING BOOK!
Simillion
lazy, hipster christians. oh my god
bac
Always love a good Poe. Although, this does reek of an advertisement.
EvilHomer
I've got one of these. The My Little Pony game's in-game ads offered me three Gems if I downloaded and installed a Bible ap.

Sure beats promises of salvation and a new civilized lifestyle.
Old_Zircon
The great thing about having the bible on your phone is you can easily skip right to the sex.

EvilHomer
My favorite bit is the one where a traveler goes to stay in this guy's house, and some bandits show up demanding that the homeowner let them rape his guest, but the homeowner's a good host so he gives the bandits his hot jailbait daughter instead, and she gets gangraped to death on their porch, and then the dude takes his daughter's corpse and chops it into little pieces and stuffs said pieces into this bigass bag, and he dumps the pieces of his daughter all over the floor of the Temple, so God gets all apeshit pissed and the priests declare this wicked sick Jihad and the Israelites find out where the bandits came from and then they rape and butcher every man, woman, and child in the bandit's home city.

That story shows up with two or three slightly different variations in two or three different places in the Bible. Shit's tight, yo.

memedumpster
I never thought I'd ever say this, but Molotov Mitchell is ten times the Christian as this person, and is more likely to do something positive with the religion.

Rodents of Unusual Size
EvilHomer, which book is that in again? I uh...am curious.

memedumpster
I was looking for something spectacularly cringeworthy trainwrecked for video submission 101, and I truly feel God had my back on this one.
SteamPoweredKleenex
I googled "video submission 101" and all that came up were a lot of wrasslin' sites.

EvilHomer
Yes, your sacrifice is pleasing to Odin, memedumpster. The Gods shall lend their strength to yours when next you stand in the shield-wall.

memedumpster
I aint like no Culkin
cause here I aint home alone
got no time for sulkin
got the havamal on my phone

the sun it aint so bright now
and I aint got no fear
I got myself a Wo-Tan
and a twenty four of beer

yogarfield
now you can shatter a bible, melt a bible, steal a bible and pawn it. this really opens up a new realm of possibilities for the casual bible-burner.
Blue
I'm frankly amazed that Christians are aware of that story because it's pretty clear that 40 of those children were innocent and murdered out of spite because two children made fun of a bald guy.
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