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Your description implies that Fox News occasionally says things that aren't very very dumb.
blind squirrel, nut
Why are they so evasive, it they've literally never fallen prey to a predator or really died under any other circumstances?
they're time travelers
Moose, Bears, Deer, etc have all been hit by trucks. Big Foot looks left right left before he crosses the street.
They're vampires, turning to ash when killed.
Now I know that the University of Idaho is not a real school.
Is that what we're doing with drones in the Middle East now, hunting Bigfoot? Makes fucking sense to me, and explains our foreign policy.
Bigfoot doesn't need to look both ways; he just rolls right over cars and crushes them.
Haven't you guys ever seen a monster truck show?!
"Why wouldn't Bigfoot come out and greet us?"
Oh holy fuck.