Majestic and eloquent.

i am a hedgehog. do not touch me, where is my food? are you awake? i am sleeping. are you asleep? i am awake. i am shitting like crazy while running in my wheel. it is important to run fast so that i can waft my smell over the apartment. do not touch me.

Ive heard hedgehogs in the wild are really flthy. I heard this on the radio, that they find something stinky, like shit, and then lick it and then lick the shit + hedgehog saliva mixture all over their dick.. No-one knows why they do this.

They are attempting to drive themselves to extinction as a reaction to the Sonic fandom, most likely.

i had a friend who bought one, and we quickly learned why they are considered vermin in africa. unless you have an uncontrollable earthworm infestation, you have no reason to buy one of these fuckers.