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Desc:God damn kids! Stop skateboarding near my house!
Category:News & Politics, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Old People, rob zombie, white people, Connecticut, skateboarding shoud be a crime
Submitted:EvilHomer
Date:08/09/13
Views:1551
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Comment count is 31
spikestoyiu
YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN YEEEAHHHHHHHH
chumbucket
^ *****

namtar
Coming soon from Rob Zombie:

Hellbilly Deluxe 6: First World Problems of the 1%
EvilHomer
Rob Zombie moved to Woodbury a few years back. I actually know his neighbour - the semi-estranged aunt of a friend of mine. I've never actually met Rob, but believe me, it's not from a lack of trying.

When he moved in, nobody in the neighbourhood knew who he was. Said aunt assumed he was a rap singer or something. They had to look him up on the internet, and boy oh boy, the neighbourhood council was absolutely horrified by what they found. I think there was talk of some kind of council action.

But it turned out their fears were misplaced! Apparently he's an exemplary homeowner, real quiet and clean, not much of a socialite but sensible and tasteful with his money and very polite. His wife even brought over a casserole once.
spikestoyiu
Neighbors were concerned he would spend the night digging through ditches and burning through witches in his Dragula.

Kabbage
Godddd

EvilHomer
(my plan is to, very nonchalantly, get him to listen to my demo tape: "Psychofilly - A Red Hot Psychobilly Tribute to My Little Pony". If I ever happens, I'll film the reaction and post it to Youtube)

chumbucket
I'm a bit baffled that he went this way as he's basically shunning his market.
Hammer Falls
He hasn't had much of a market/presence since "Educated Horses".

EvilHomer
Maybe it's Rob's way of announcing his retirement?

I hate to say it, but he should have quit the whole having-a-band business a decade ago, focused all his energy on drawing comic books and producing indie psychobilly bands. I've seen him live a few times, and each time it gets worse and worse. He has a neat stage show (sometimes) but his voice is shot; he sings worse than Phil Anselmo, maybe worse than Ozzy even. It's a huge letdown and I kinda wish I never saw him now.

Zombimandias, I guess.

TeenerTot
What would he have done if the kids were blasting his music?

Also, that little thing cost 50K??
DerangedGoblin
What the hell is up with that reporter-voice that all (but is mostly exaggerated in local newsfolk) reporters use at 1:06.

"We weren't ABLE to speak(?) toRAHCKER-ROB-ZOMBIE but on his FACEBOOK PAGE?! He ADDRESSES the issue...."

Chins are not used to emphasize your already over-vocalized punctuation, nor are eyebrows. Sit there calmly and tell me the damn news.

How am I supposed to take you seriously when you sound like you have some sort of palsy? And quit flailing your damn hands, I get that you are excited about this!
Sexy Duck Cop
Newscaster voices are way more irritating when they report on anything remotely niche/weird/not applying directly to the mummies that still watch local news. Their tone is so condescending because, to the banality of local newsteams, anything vaguely interesting sounds so impossibly foreign they have to....PAUSE dramatically...before saying, quote, the WORD "bummer." Like what kind of crazy weirdo says bummer!?!?!? Those Hollyweirdos!!!!!

Hooker
Welp, that's the last nail in the coffin of me giving any shits about Rob Zombie.
yogarfield
this park is a prefab (this might be the youtube pitch for the setup shown: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpybip8N2lI ), and nobody who actually skates likes these things. if you notice, the "teen skateboarders" don't have skateboards. the only thing going on here is toddlers running around throwing rocks.

5 for "rocker", "skating park", "rocker", "skateboard park", "rocker".
EvilHomer
But surely you agree that toddlers need a safe, kid-friendly environment in which to throw their rocks, yes? Would you rather they throw their rocks in the middle of a street?

I put the Woodbury kids' official response video in the hopper. They do have skateboards.

yogarfield
wow, what a miserable bunch of brats. fundraisers and overpaying for shit ramps is diametrically opposed to the DIY culture that skateboarding used to engender. and ironically, these pricey metal ramps are insanely louder than wooden ramps that you can make for a fraction of the cost. DRINK THEIR BLOOD, ROB!! DRINK THEIR BLOOD!!

memedumpster
That DIY culture of pro skate shops, clear channel band merch, and multimillion dollar city skate park projects?

EvilHomer
Oh fart, yogarfield. These kids are too young to be well-informed hipsters, give 'em a break!

yogarfield
"used to". you know, the good old days. before the dew tour, energy drink sponsors, and nikes. the contest culture and the filming culture are worlds apart.

nothing wrong with a good shop though. in my city the bmx and skate dudes all get along pretty well, and work together to build our own spots in vacant lots around town. they usually get dozed after a 3-4 months, and then a new spot gets built elsewhere. we had one of these prefabs in a yuppy part of town, and in addition to its inherit shitness, there were also parents and children literally crawling all over the ramps, mountain bikes, scooters, and the dreaded "guys who are just chillin' at the park". one of the "just chillin'" guys ended up punching a cop and they removed all of the ramps. good riddance.

EvilHomer
Do you know Tony Hawk? I've heard of Tony Hawk before.

yogarfield
haha yeah, he sucks a mean dick.

Hooker
It's weird that you identify the skateboarders as the sellouts here.

M-DEEM
I have fond memories of those days. I started at the end of asymmetric decks. I had a garage sale santa cruz with generic veriflex trucks.
Yogarfield is right though. You would raid construction sites for coping, 2x4s and masonite and build ramps in the abandoned tennis courts. In the mid 90s some 'skateparks' we drove out to were really just ancient bowls from the 70s slick with 20 years of graffiti.

Last time I was at a skatepark all the kids talked about was getting sponsored or 'flow', and filming each other.

memedumpster
Hey Rob, welcome to planet motherfucker, poser.
Oscar Wildcat
Looks like Robs dogma just got hit by his karma. Listen to it howl!

sosage
Bummer
SolRo
PoETV's hate of rob zombie overcomes its hate of skateboarders
Nominal
Was I the only one that heard it was his wife who complained?

Not so much a sell out rocker thing as a tired whipped husband thing, which I guess could still be called a sell out rocker thing.
Adham Nu'man
She does have a pretty nice ass though.

cognitivedissonance
If his sole contribution to the universe is a remastered, rerecording of the soundtrack to "Bride of Frankenstein", inserting theremin when later rerecordings had just used organ, he's earned his annual oxygen allowance and won't be fed to the Beast.
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