Still makes more sense than Fulci's ending to City of the Living Dead.
|Koda Maja |
I like that the first person credited is the accountant.
|Dinkin Flicka |
Setting it up for the sequel. Also, if you're into this, check out the ending of "Nude For Satan." Promise.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Oh, you incorrigible little ragamuffins and your pranks!
And now, an expository scene from a recently unearthed Fulci script
(NOTE: the following scene is to be shot in extreme close-up that zooms further in with each change. The dialogue should seem to be spoken by eyes, first, then nostrils, then teeth, then pores, then random facial hairs. In the background, the sounds of barking seals and howling baboons can be heard, even though the film is set in the witch-hunt haunted town of Dunwich, Idaho)
HANDSOME MAN: I tell you, it's the truth!
UGLY MAN: Shut up or I'll kill you! I'll beat your face in!
BUSTY BLONDE: The both of you shut up, you men!
SOMEWHAT LESS BUSTY BRUNETTE: They should shut up. They both are such men.
(Both women giggle like they're wired on cocaine.)
BUSTY BLONDE: So, what are we going to do? The Black Book of Veldaraniti has been opened!
LESS BUSTY BRUNETTE: Yes, we were given the warning!
HANDSOME MAN: Nothing but the senseless ramblings of a lunatic!
UGLY MAN: I told you bitches I'd smack you if you listened to that old man!
BUSTY BLONDE: But the signs were foretold! We saw the opening of the gate!
LESS BUSTY BRUNETTE (leering at HANDSOME MAN): Ha! Tou and your signs! Let's go get hamburgers!
(The scene now switches abruptly to a couple making out until his dick is pulled off and shoved into her eye by a mysterious figure. This is the first time The Black Book of Veldaraniti, the old man, "the signs" or "the gate" have been mentioned in
the movie, and it shall be the last time, too. When we next see our four primary characters, they're being pelted with a storm of "maggots" played by styrofoam packing peanuts while sitting in the drive-thru at Wendy's, accompanied by the background sounds of mating rhinos.)
Liar, liar, hand on fire?
The amoral ending to Time Bandits.
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