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Desc:Well that was uncomfortable.
Category:Business, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:fever dream, Miley Cyrus, white people dancing, Robin Thicke, we have become our parents
Submitted:Pope Caius
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Resubmit:The Mothership

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Comment count is 82
mouser - 2013-08-27
Outslutting Gaga. Minus the heroin.
gravelstudios - 2013-08-27
I will admit that I like the idea of a 7 foot tall huge bootied black woman throwing candy at the audience. I'll have to get that for my next gig.
Gmork - 2013-08-27
Oh my god!

Gmork - 2013-08-29
Now I am stalking her. Thanks for the tip!

Rafiki - 2013-08-27
I guess I'm now officially old. Saw all the controversy, went to watch the video, couldn't figure out why people were flipping their shit, and realized most of the audience probably don't remember Madonna.
EvilHomer - 2013-08-27

jaunch - 2013-08-27

I think this performance is horrible not because she's a skank or something, but because it was so talentless and boring.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-08-27
Yeah, it isn't offensive because it's too sexy. It's offensive because it is trying so bloody hard to be sexy and just comes off desperate and terrible.

TeenerTot - 2013-08-27
I'm right there with you rafiki.

Plus, Gene Simmons showed more tongue, Mick Jagger gyrated as much, and Ozzy had far worse props than a foam finger. But I guess slut shaming only goes for girls.

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
The tongue thing was really weird, though. I give zero shits about the sexuality angle; it was just awkward.

RocketBlender - 2013-08-28
There are plenty of people that would have been way worse, Gene Simmons, GaGa, Niki Minaj, the list is nearly endless.

It may not be fair, but Miley gets a lot of extra scorn because for years she was passed off as a Disney star and a 'role model' for little kids everywhere. No one has ever tried to claim KISS or GaGa was such, so they get a LOT more leeway with this kind of thing?

Is it fair that someone gets so much extra scorn for previously being a child star? Probably not, but try explaining how fair it is to the legion of pissed off parents who just spent hundreds of dollars on Hannah Montanah back to school supplies.

candyheadrobot - 2013-08-29
Awkward sex is awkward agreed.

But the cultural appropriation people need to google pawgs and whootys. Twerk has existed multiculturally since before worldstar, if anything, Miley has probably curbed it's usage. Yes I know about these things don't judge.


Pillager - 2013-08-27
Attack of the pedobears
candyheadrobot - 2013-08-29
Cyclops Sour Girl bears.

The Mothership - 2013-08-27
So is this a thinly veiled jab at Kanye? Also missing the twerk tag.
EvilHomer - 2013-08-27
I didn't spot too many Illuminati references, but the Pedobear references are hard to miss.
The God of Biscuits - 2013-08-27
I must be weird, the thing that bothered me most was how she couldn't put her fucking tongue back in her mouth.
STABFACE - 2013-08-27
Like someone tried to teach an alien how to be sexy.
Adham Nu'man - 2013-08-27
Like an autistic recluse whose only knowledge of women came through hardcore pornography tried to teach an alien how to be sexy.

Bhiu - 2013-08-27
Rita corny, Michael.

StanleyPain - 2013-08-27
This whole post-post-modern idea of LOL RANDOM as a legitimate form of art has pretty much reached a singularity at this point in the commercial music industry. This whole thing of shit artists making shit on purpose so that it gets called shit and then they can laugh and wink at the audience and say "it's shit but oh well HATERS" as some ironic, self-effacing deconstruction of pop culture thing is about as played out as it can fucking get.
Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-27
Maybe it's just plain shit, Stan.

Change - 2013-08-27
I actually am embracing this new generation of hipsters. They're not trying to be ironic at all - they damn well mean it.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-27
But give her credit for the scene of an army of dancing pedobears mugging and staring at her mawkish caricature of sexuality. Inasmuch as anything is trying to be said...

StanleyPain - 2013-08-27
Well, regardless, this is the official moment where I am "old" I guess. I don't get this shit at all.

baleen - 2013-08-27
Most cohesive rage against this disgrace:

http://groupthink.jezebel.com/solidarity-is-for-miley-cyrus-12 03666732

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
I don't know if any article so full of strawmen and that makes so many references to Trayvon Martin and assumptions in regards to a girl occasionally shaking her ass on MTV can really be considered "cohesive".

Mother_Puncher - 2013-08-27
It isn't irony. Nobody is making shit to be ironic or random. Nobody is dressing god awful to be ironic. Nobody is acting idiotic to be ironic. They make shit, dress god awful and act like idiots

baleen - 2013-08-27
Yes, exactly. I didn't say this article was good.
I was citing it as an example of "what's got everybody pissed off." Jezebel is full of annoying people. She does make a few good points, but tanks her argument in other areas with, as you pointed out, strawmen.

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
Got it. My apologies then for apparently misunderstanding.

baleen - 2013-08-27
As a side note, I left a polite question and opinion on her piece. I asked her who would control the "black filter" of culture under which white people were permitted to borrow said culture. It was deleted.

Jezebel is so fucking self-righteous.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-08-27
Talentless pop tartlet makes some piece of shit performance that is so lame everyone basically felt embarassed for her, the logical reaction is to write a long super-serious article about racism and inter-sectional feminism.

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
I wish I were actually "living under a rock" for once, because I'm already sick of hearing about this.

The only thing more embarrassing than this performance are the cringe-worthy discussions on sexuality and race that have taken over the Internet.
StanleyPain - 2013-08-27
Can someone explain to me how "Race" plays into this? I keep hearing this and I'm at a loss to understand it because no one will explain it to me without throwing 50 links to Jezebel blogs or some shit.

Rosebeekee - 2013-08-27
Twerking is a part of black culture and not something for white people to steal and bastardized. Alternately I've heard that twerking is a sacred part of black culture because it is based on African fertility dances.

baleen - 2013-08-27
See above.

http://groupthink.jezebel.com/solidarity-is-for-miley-cyrus-12 03666732

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
People can't explain it without linking to someone else's opinion because the idea that this was "a minstrel show" (and I've seen it called that) is beyond stupid and racist itself. Don't forget: only black people can do "black people things". Like play the blues or jazz or breakdance.

Jane Error - 2013-08-27
I don't think it's so much arguing that white people can't do black people things but the problem that there's a history of white Americans loving black culture while hating black people and doing everything possible to separate the two. The "minstrelsy" accusation comes from that history of white people profiting off of black culture while leaving the black artists that created them in the dust.

If her performance had been informed by what was truly a deep and abiding affection for, say, jazz or blues, then I think it would be fine with most people. But she didn't even know who Jay-Z was a few years back, so it's much more likely that she just took the latest phenomena that's synonymous with being black in order to launch her new "edgy" image, while having no clue what music or culture it's attached to.

So while I don't think any black artists are being left in the dust by Miley's sad attempt at "twerking," it's still tacky to take use something that's associated with the underclass just to piss off your daddy.

SexualBasalt - 2013-08-27
...black people are the underclass?

Adham Nu'man - 2013-08-27
Agreed, still the main point here is this was some MTV garbage made by and for stupid talentless people, so I'd say looking into it with overzealous scrutiny would be like commenting on the existential implications of two mangy dogs fighting over a week old cat turd.

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
"white Americans loving black culture while hating black people"

Okay, but what does any of this have to do with Miley Cyrus? Are you her diary? Do you know how she feels about black people or black culture? Is her apparent infatuation with twerking somehow indicative of either? I do appreciate the way you explained what you perceive is the problem with Miley Cyrus shaking her ass three or four times in a way generally understood to be the "underclass black" way of shaking your ass as it's certainly infinitely more reasonable and well spoken than your average Jezebel article on the subject, but I still think it's pretty out there. I'm not being facetious, by the way.

But the idea that Miley Cyrus is profiting off of this poorly thought-out and executed flirtation with this bullshit while the nation's top black twerkologists are selling blood to make ends meet (I heard Waka Flocka Flame is on food stamps) seems pretty baseless. Plenty of black people have made millions off of it. I'm pretty sure that Juicy J's "Bounce It" is an enormous hit. And since it's the domain of the uh "underclass", do they need to stop singing about it now? Or does their blackness cancel out their wealth?

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-08-27
There's a brand new dance but I don't know its name
That people from bad homes do again and again
It's big and it's bland, full of tension and fear
They do it over there but we don't do it here.

There's a brand new talk, but it's not very clear,
That people from good homes are talking this year.
It's loud and it's tasteless and I've heard it before.
You shout it while you're dancing on that, uhhhh...
dance floor.

Rosebeekee - 2013-08-27
God, what a slut.

Miley Cyrus is a little bit obscene to.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-08-28

lordyam - 2013-08-27
remember all our wonderful conversations about honey boo-boo ?
wtf japan - 2013-08-27
This isn't hot raunchy! This is crack whore raunchy!

I'm not for slut shaming, but that was a shameful attempt at sluttery.
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-08-27
Exactly. It tries to be raunchy but can't even pull THAT off.

EvilHomer - 2013-08-27
Not slutty enough shaming.

Spaceman Africa - 2013-08-27
Robin Thicke is such a creepy fuck
Change - 2013-08-27
Look who his father is.

BHWW - 2013-08-27
Well what did she do this time I don't oh god how gross
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-08-27
There's a trending tag on Twitter that's something like "#StayStrongBillyRay" in sympathy over Mr. Cyrus' paternal world under assault.

Still, I'm not sure which has less dignity, his kid's twerk-out or the concept of his apparently unaired "reality" show where he and his son would travel the country "debunking" UFOs and other stupidity.
mon666ster - 2013-08-27
Needs a Beetlejuice tag

Needs a Mike Seaver's brother tag

Needs a What's with the tongue? tag
Spaceman Africa - 2013-08-27
I have no idea why people are surprised or grossed out about this, when this is what every teen star does when they "grow up" and try to shock the masses.
Macho Nacho - 2013-08-27
Seriously, this happens to most child stars to the point I'm not even surprised anymore.

EvilHomer - 2013-08-27
People are surprised because Old Media says we are. They have this bullshit down to a science; every move has been scripted and rehearsed to the point where all of us, the whole ruddy lot of us, can play our parts in this drama without missing a beat.

Even those of us whose only role is to scratch our heads and say "So what?" Old Media's engineered that, too. It's all part of the fagdance.

Nominal - 2013-08-27
What does EvilHomer have against Jews?

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2013-08-27
The only thing worse than not being talked about is Miley Cyrus.
Kabbage - 2013-08-27
http://media.tumblr.com/c7f4570d7277243b9c89514c13f9526b/tumblr_in line_moiwz8TNDN1qz4rgp .gif
cognitivedissonance - 2013-08-27
We're going to war with Syria, entire industries are cheerfully subverting your privacy, the unelected security apparatus basically runs the country.

But hey, this.
spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
Thank God This Guy showed up.

Pope Caius - 2013-08-27
But are there still children in Africa?

il fiore bel - 2013-08-27
Starving and without clitorises as always, Pope.

Mother_Puncher - 2013-08-27
This is embarrassing for everyone involved. I'm embarrassed for her. This is the pinnacle of desperation and its cringe comedy. The best parts are the camera pans to other celebrities and they are just cringing in their seats at how bad it is.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-08-27
Wow. Viacom actually claims copyright on this? Brave of them.
Hatman - 2013-08-27
For You

Binro the Heretic - 2013-08-27
What the fuck is the story behind that giant cylon bear?
Seven Arts/H8 Red - 2013-08-27
All this window dressing can't make up for the idea that people are expected to give a shit about Billy Ray Cyrus' and Alan Thicke's selected offspring.
il fiore bel - 2013-08-27
At first I thought you meant one of these men had anally given birth to Miley.

Lef - 2013-08-28
il fiore bel, this is what I will believe from now on. Billy is the mom and Alan is the dad.

spikestoyiu - 2013-08-27
"If her performance had been informed by what was truly a deep and abiding affection for, say, jazz or blues, then I think it would be fine with most people."

Is there a way of approaching the blacks only way of shaking your ass cheeks that shows your deep and abiding affection?
spikestoyiu - 2013-08-28
Well this reply wasn't anywhere near where it was supposed to be.

Koda Maja - 2013-08-27
Ever been hit on by a meth-head?

That's how this made me feel.
Riskbreaker - 2013-08-28
All of us, as in, the collective group that is the human race, gets dumber with every minute of discussion about this "scandal". May the gods have mercy upon us.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-08-28
Shut up, 'batiin.

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-08-28
The way our society is headed, I just think anyone should be naked on TV if they feel like it. Newscasts. Sitcoms. Sports. The original Olympics were done in the nude. It made it more challenging. VMAs sound like an STD anyway so you might as well go for it.

Also, I just want to point out this song is incredibly sexist and I'm much more offended by the lyrics than her stupid lack of an outfit.

Also, the Smith family's reaction shot of horror is officially my favorite photo to come out of this.
ashtar. - 2013-08-29
I think the only real reason that we hold on to any sort of notion of 'decency' is that it's more exciting to see something that you feel is forbidden.

gravelstudios - 2013-08-28
Seriously...Did nobody else see the seven foot tall lady with the huge butt? Was she a figment of my imagination? Is this like that clip with the people playing basketball and the gorilla? Did nobody notice the 7 foot huge bootied lady because they were so focused on Miley?
spikestoyiu - 2013-08-28
You know who did notice? FEMINIST BLOGGERS.

gravelstudios - 2013-08-28
It's just that, to me, that lady is by far and away the most noteworthy aspect of this performance, and for everybody else, she's just a footnote. I immediately went on google and tried to look up who she is, and couldn't find anything. Please, if anybody knows any info about the 7 foot lady, let me know. Thanks.

Gmork - 2013-08-29
She haunts my dreams. Dat ass.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2013-08-28
"Miley Cyrus" is the coolest name ever!!!
Sounds like a cyber-mercenary from the dystopian future!
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