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Desc:At least the asshole who decided Robo needed to be sleek and black and tactical is in the movie
Category:Classic Movies, Trailers
Tags:Samuel L. Jackson, robocop, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Jose Padilha
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Comment count is 48
Billy the Poet - 2013-09-06
It looks like Jose Padhila did for Robocop what Jose Padilla wanted to do to Chicago.
Aelric - 2013-09-06
I was hoping so some silly little robocop sidestory like they did with Dredd. But no, every goddamn movie has to be a remake, a reboot or a fucking origin story.
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-09-06
SolRo - 2013-09-06
Anyone that remakes a true cult classic has to be a self-absorbed jackass to such a degree that it's incomprehensible why anyone would work with them. (or that they'd want anyone working with them, because normal people would only slow down his creative genius)
Spaceman Africa - 2013-09-06
That one human hand is annoying the hell out of me.
CornOnTheCabre - 2013-09-06

Nominal - 2013-09-06
It really does make it look like a cheap cosplay outfit.

FABIO - 2013-09-06
Ouch ouch ouch ouch


- Stuffy old men running everything, eliminating a pretty key component of the original satire. EVEN A CARROT TOP MOVIE MANAGED TO GET THIS RIGHT.

- Any trace of humor. When a Robocop trailer can't even elicit a smirk (like the Dredd trailer did), you're in big trouble.

- Brutal squibs. Murphy is mortally injured by a quick car bomb explosion? ARE YOU SHITTING ME?

- R rating. All signs are pointing to PG-13. (see above)

So they got the detective from The Killing to play the exact same character? Robocop is going to be a sarcastic wigger now? Or are the makers so dense that they think an extreme contrast in pre-robo personality is the only way to get the MAN MACHINE point across? Maybe it's TOO subtle, better throw in a human hand.

Yes, the one aspect of Robocop that needed playing up was the heavy drama of the relationship with his wife and son.

I've always thought looking at the writers is the surest expectation for a movie. Let's take a look...

Oh god, FOUR writers. Credits include The Spiderman reboot, a horror movie about the toothfairy, The Rundown, White House Down (aka the dumb version of Olympus Has Fallen), and THE HAUNTING for fuck's sake, the writer of which hasn't done anything since Road to Perdition. The fourth writer has zero previous credits.

Yeah there's no way this isn't going to be awful.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-09-06
I see nobody as bad-ass as Clarence Boddicker.
They not only gave away how he dies, it's nowhere near as evocative as the one Peter Weller's Murphy undergoes.

This trailer, and perhaps this movie lacks apparent hidden darkness. This is a superhero movie masquerading as a dystopian future-film.

vanilla_killa - 2013-09-06
^ :(

SolRo - 2013-09-06
someone dig around to see if this is some kind of revenge butchering against someone that was involved with the original. this is so terrible it must be malicious.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-09-06
He doesn't even fucking DIE in this movie, for god's sake. Murphy dying horribly in the first film was a vital part of his transformation into Robocop.

It also looks like they're going to completely miss the point of the ED-209, too.

They'd be better off selling this shit as a gritty remake of Automan.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-09-06
Also, we need to mention how shitty the music is, and how much of an unforgivable sin that's going to be.

memedumpster - 2013-09-06
Proof the film makers have no respect for the original and should be forcibly drowned in yak semen.


StanleyPain - 2013-09-06
Wow, this looks like some kind of Asylum Studio thing or something, jesus..... Is Tara Reid in this?
FABIO - 2013-09-06
Can anyone name a single decent movie where Sam Jackson is low key?
Flying Omelette - 2013-09-06

StanleyPain - 2013-09-06
He did an HBO movie early in his career where he played a homeless guy (I can't remember the name) and it was pretty good. He never screamed "motherfucker" at anyone either.

robotkarateman - 2013-09-06
Johnny Suede.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-09-06
Robocop was one of the greatest movies of its time. At least this one looks like it's going to be a perfect example of everything wrong with the movies of its time.
mouser - 2013-09-06
«sleek and black and tactical» Yes. Neon red Cylon helmet is indeed tactical.

5 stars for the inevitable franchise killer.
Hooker - 2013-09-06
I'm glad they added all the clichés the original movie left out.
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-09-06
One could argue the cliches from the original were all part of its dystopian look at the 80's (including violence/action films). This seems to have no such self-awareness... which is ironic for a movie about a cyborg.

Sanest Man Alive - 2013-09-06
Hollywood seems to have done everything in its power to complete overwrite Paul Verhoeven's legacy and declare him an unperson. Probably something to do with making their current crop of directors look (even more) like humorless, clueless child-men, and also because they don't want anyone remembering what satire really means.

EvilHomer - 2013-09-06
Well I think this is a GREAT idea! They HAVE to do a shitty remake of Robocop, because the copyright will lapse in another eighty years and at that point all the financial opportunity offered by the franchise will be wasted! You've got a good story already written, which will cost it's studio nothing to use, and a target audience which is either too young to remember the original or too old to resist the lure of nostalgia.

It's about fostering creativity and giving poor people jobs, so stop griping and go buy your twenty dollar IMAX tickets. YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO COMPLY lolololol
Nikon - 2013-09-06
I watched 20 seconds of that trailer and now I want those 20 seconds back. Fuck this shit.
memedumpster - 2013-09-06
Looks completely inferior in every single aspect of film making to the original. Even the sets suck ass.I hope everyone in this thing destroys their careers with it. It may as well be Ryan Reynolds as the Guyver for all the utter shit this looks like. Oh god, CG Robocop jumping, that's what the original lacked, motherfucking cartoon character in the lead.
Sanest Man Alive - 2013-09-06
You joke about the Guyver, but if Hollywood smells a goofy or offbeat cult hit somewhere, they will drag it screaming from its hidden altar into the daylight and fuck it to death with well-honed hack writing and advertisement-level directing.

TeenerTot - 2013-09-06
But look: super-awesome hi-tech floating touchscreens! I'll bet the NEW Robocop can access them via Bluetooth!
TheOtherCapnS - 2013-09-06
Floating iOS = the future in every hack movie recently

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-09-06
Floating iOS = less hassle with props that usually have to have their displays rendered/enhanced somehow anyway.

Not that it's a good idea, just sayin'.

candyheadrobot - 2013-09-06
I watch this movie every few months. It's my favorite ever. The cast is good. The director is good. I hear good things about the script. I have every reason to dislike what I'm seeing right now, but I'm going to reserve judgement till I see it. If anything, the Verhoeven still exists, and this will be better than Alpha Commando.
Toenails - 2013-09-06
"the Verhoeven still exists"

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Old People - 2013-09-06
Nonetheless, I'm gonna see it once it's out on Netflix.
TheOtherCapnS - 2013-09-06
Bitches leave.

The theater.
oddeye - 2014-09-06
Fucking hell! 5 stars for you.

lordyam - 2013-09-06
nope nope nope nope, id rather watch the made for tv mini series
BHWW - 2013-09-06
Oh good, yet another remake of a sci-fi movie where the tech looks like something like what someone in 2000 might imagine you'd find in an Apple store of the year 2040. I'm also glad we'll have some sort of inanely executed "free will vs. control" subplot that looks like it'll be handled with all of the grace you'd expect from some deservedly obscure shitty anime or comic book.
CornOnTheCabre - 2013-09-06

Nominal - 2013-09-06
Actually, I think the only way this could have worked as a remake going in a different direction was if they went all in with that idea: replace the soulless GE type corporation with the modern soulless Apple cult that pretends it has a soul. Take the whole "sleek hip marketability over functionality" approach to rendering human police obsolete. Replace street gangs with Apple fanatics.

Holy shit the money I would spend to watch Robocop squib Mac snobs for two hours.

Gmork - 2013-09-06
When I think to myself "Man, this movie would be better with Paul VerHoeoeoeven as the director" there is something seriously awry.
fatatty - 2013-09-06
Eh, looks better than I thought. I'll watch it.

You guys really think this would be worse than 3?
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-09-06
Verhoven didn't direct 3.

Only two of the original cast members returned for 3 and one of them gets killed.

It tries to use the concept of Japan coming over and buying up our corporations as a plot device about a decade after that hysteria had died off.

Finally, I guarantee you this thing has a much higher budget than 3 did, which makes it an even bigger waste.

CornOnTheCabre - 2013-09-06
If it were stupider than Robocop 3, there's no way it wouldn't be fun to watch. This is so much worse.

1394 - 2013-09-06
The worst Dick Jones.
Riskbreaker - 2013-09-06
Wouldn't buy this for a dollar.
Robin Kestrel - 2013-09-06
As long as it still has the three-breasted hooker... oh, wait.
Juice Eggs McKenna - 2013-09-07
Never thought I'd use the phrase "this looks like it could be a good movie if it wasn't for the fact it stars RoboCop".
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