what makes this funnier is how seriously aaron eckhart takes his career
|Jim Quin |
"From the producer of Underworld" No, really!? What a complete and utter fucking surprise, I honestly never would have guessed! How many more original White Wolf sourcebooks are left for them to turn into movies? Because I want to see them try and make a movie out of the old sparkly glitterbombing faggot Changeling.
Sanest Man Alive
I guess that explains the umpteenth iteration of the old "war between shitty monster group A and shitty monster group B" plot.
Was it also the producers' bright idea to cram those obnoxious FIREBALL EFFECTS into every other fucking scene? They aren't even doing anything!
I'd actually pay to see a Shadowrun movie... maybe.
Nobody's made a movie about an army of Jack the Ripper clones yet.
Jack In The Box tie-ins, Gwar and AC/DC on the soundtrack, maybe even a brief Robin Williams cameo for the film buffs. It's a guaranteed money maker.
Frankenstein is the doctor, not the monster, geniuses.
|Sanest Man Alive |
The monster makeup for this is barely above "wooOOOoo I've got spooky eyes totes a rejected freak here ladies" from the "Beauty and the Beast" series reboot.
Yes, the tragically romantic tale of Ron Perlman living in a sewer got a reboot. On the CW.
Yes it's horrible in multiple ways so why you gotta give it two stars, son.
"horrible classic reboot infinity"
Yeah, I can run with this.
|Billy the Poet |
WHERE'D THE GROOVE GO?
Don't these repurposing-classic-monsters/faerie tale-characters-in-an-action-movie movies always bomb? Why do they keep getting made?
I want an update of The Invisible Man where there is a war between centaurs and white elephants (the centaurs are the bad guys) and Griffith has to rape all the centaur women, since that's the thing he does.
I like how Dr. Frankenstein was so comitted to his concept he made sure the final product had a face just like in his diagrams - "Unless it has a big chin-butt, my creation will be incomplete!"
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
meets Abbot and Costello
There's a "Lion's Gate" (or maybe "lionsgate") tag for stuff like this.
Any sound design/sample nerds on here who can identify the sample at 2:21 (the one that sounds like a mix between bowed sheet metal and some of the heavily filtered chainsaw sounds from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre soundtrack)? It's shaping up to be one of the most overused samples in the last decade or so, and I'd love to know the original source.
|Architeuthis Tux |
That right there is 24 frames per second of pure turd.
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