Have you ever had a dreams that s that you um you had you d- you wou- you could you do you wi- you want you you could do so you you do you cou- you you want you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
Of course English is their native tongue! All Indians speak English, and have names like John, Amy, or Hello-My-Name-Is-Michael-Your-Call-Representative-Today-How-May-I- Help-You-Sir.
I mean, how are Indians supposed to write English when they've got such a silly alphabet? Surely you can see that they've got to invent a brand new form of alphabet, one whose rules are radically different from any we've ever seen before and which will alter the course of human history as profoundly as the Internet did.