|Binro the Heretic |
Best grandma ever.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Considering my grandmother can't even turn on a computer, this is pretty damned impressive.
she's considerably better than me
I'll get you you bastard, come back here!!
I didn't know there was a video.
|The Mothership |
She reminds me of an elderly woman who did tastings for a whisky company in the whisky shop I worked at in Scotland. She was batshit crazy and racist as fuck, but man could she party.
Make a soundboard from this.
Jesus, someone should introduce her to Just Cause 2.
So I've been working on a theory that the storyline of GTAV is actually an allegory for Rockstar, and the three main characters represent historical aspects of the company itself. Trevor is old Rockstar, perverse, anarchic, over-the-top, and fun. Michael is new Rockstar, fat, rich, and complacent, a victim of his own success who resents his anti-social past and now just wants to make Hollywood movies. And Franklin is future Rockstar, a boring lump who spends his days relaxing in his mansion, picking up dog shit (we are Chop, and our shit is GTA:O)
I'm glad granny is a Trevor fan.
* Actually, I should say, we are Chop, and the totality of Chop's existence is GTA:O; stupid iPhone aps, chasing balls, fucking other boy dogs in the ass. Picking up our shit is merely a metaphorical representation of Franklin/Rockstar's turnkey obligations to the Chop/Consumer - intermittent bugfixes, bans, and nerfing monetary rewards so as to drive demand for their bullshit pay-to-win scheme.
(like a game that made nearly a billion dollars on it's first day of sales really needs to start charging players after-point-of-sales fees in order to make ends meet)
Oh come on, don't tell me you've never pondered the subtextual narrative of GTAV. This is interesting stuff, and really, what else are you going to do during those five minute waits for your Wanted Stars to go away?
I always assumed the story was a not-so-subtle nod the previous GTAs and how trying to go "serious" with GTA4 was a mistake.
Trevor is an older, miserable Claude, Michael is an older, miserable Tommy, and Franklin is an older, maybe not-so-miserable CJ. They all spend time saying their going to overcome their problems and become "normal" serious people with goals when, in the end, they realize they should just embrace their crazy, shitty sides and roll with it.
I'm just disappointed they really didn't give any of the characters a particularly strong story arc. The game sort of builds up to a certain point where you assume the story is going to go through its fourth act or something, but instead of the characters getting any send-off or closure, the game just sort of ends.
Also, for all of Rockstar's bluster about abandoning the GTA3-verse and never again connecting to it, GTAV has a surprising amount of very specific call-backs to that universe.
I don't get how people are saying Rockstar is just rich and complacent and "playing it safe".
Like many people, I'm not a big fan of GTAIV and I have issues with some of their other games but it's not like they haven't taken risks. Red Dead Redemption was a huge success but it's not like dumping a shitload of money into the western genre was a guaranteed way of making money, in fact several analysts predicted that it would be fairly successful but wouldn't recoup on the huge investment (which it did).
I hated the second half of LA Noire were basically you're streamlined down an inevitable path but it's not like "hey, let's make this supercomplex adventure game of interrogation set in the 50s 'cause the Call of Duty kids love that shit" was exactly a safe money bet.
They even took Max Payne and made him fat and bald (which pissed off a lot of fans to no end) and in Brazil.
I miss when GTA was still fresh and new and Rockstar made dumb fun games like Smuggler's Run but I mostly appreciate how GTA V turned out. Yes, this one was in a lot of ways fan service but fuck it the game really needed it.
Speaking of how fun GTAV is or isn't, do people find the detailed realism of the game liberating or confining?
When I first played GTA3 way back when, I was blown away. It was probably the most profound feeling of "I am playing something totally new and captivating" I've ever had with video games. I loved that I could just play Crazy Taxi if I wanted, or if I drove by something that looked like a ramp, I could line up and ramp off it (turn out it was usually a hidden jump). There were little packages all over the city that I would sometimes discover when I was wandering around, and when I got enough of them, stuff would start showing up at my hideout.
I just do the story missions in GTAV. I never feel compelled to ramp off things, search in the corners of places, do things that will raise my wanted level, etc. The penalties are higher and the rewards are massively lower. To do anything other than the story missions, you have to want to do them enough that the doing of them is its own reward. It's not nearly as bad as it was in GTAIV, but it's still pretty lame. Am I just growing out of video games, or is GTAV still plagued by a lot of GTAIV's problems?
The unique jumps are back in GTAV, dunno if you noticed or not. A lot of that kind of vibe is back in this game (though, mysteriously, they removed cab missions except for the few that you get when you buy the cab company).
I don't think GTAV has anywhere near as many flaws as 4 did and I think the online mode is great step in the direction of creating a more goal-oriented version of the game that harkens back to the older games. Yes, GTA Online has some pretty big problems, but it also feels a lot like playing GTA3 or something because you have to work for your resources (slowly earning money and ranks for better weapons, vehicles, etc) and the missions all have a kind of arcade-y feel to them (generic shooting people and races and such without any real storyline).
You're right that going out of your way to explore is more it's own reward, but there's still some cool shit going in the game like the random encounters, easter eggs, strangers and freaks missions, and the stuff you get if you buy property and/or do certain things online (The Epsilon stuff is entertaining). But I dig how the Online portion makes you have to consider the risk-reward stuff and actually think about how you spend your money and time. It needs to be cleaned up a bit, and Rockstar nerfing the rewards you get is utterly mystifying to me, but I still enjoy it in a GTA old school sort of way.
Hooker, I dig what you're saying but GTAIII was just the first game where we were ever set loose in a virtual city that had its own non-scripted going abouts and that alone was profoundly interesting. The fact that Rockstar is going to create a world with a shitload of things in it is pretty much a given now, so even when it's ever more beautiful and ever more complex it's still nowhere near as mindblowing as when GTAIII came out.
Also, it's fucking huge. Even GTAIV in it's samey boring-ness was way too big to be a truly explorable place unless you suffer from OCD. I get what you're saying about the insane stunt jumps etc.. In GTAIII they were absolutely perfect and there were just enough of them that you could actually use them during police chases rather than just having to tick them off a checklist as an achievement in and of themselves. GTAV DOES have stung jumps, and I have found a couple of them accidentally, but the world is simply too fucking huge to have strategically placed insane stunt jumps all over the place.
So yes, I understand what you're saying and I mostly feel the same. I still had a lot of fun on this one.
I also think they made a few mistakes with the map design.
First, having a huge body of water all around the map but no easily navigated rivers crossing it was a mistake. It means you can get into boats, but you never do. The Alamo Sea should be littered with jet-skis and boats, but isn't.
Secondly, they should have had at least another major town (if not city) at the opposite end of the map, with its own set of missions and characters, that would have promoted more moving about. Each town should have had its own airport and landing strip. Once again, you have access to airplanes, but outside of missions, you never use them 'cause they are a pain in the ass to get. By the time you have accumulated the thirty billion dollars that the hangar costs you probably couldn't give a shit anymore about exploring or playing the game at all.
Oh, don't get me wrong. GTA3 wasn't the high water mark for me. I consider San Andreas to be nothing short of the greatest single-player video game of all time. I just feel like the worlds of GTA4 and GTA5 are not game worlds. They don't invite you to try and leave your mark on it. I don't know what contributes to that exactly, but the two games (GTA4 moreso), while obviously open-worlds, feel profoundly linear underneath. I did all of CJ's fucking girlfriend missions because that got me things to use in the game and there was content to see. Why would I want to play tennis for hours in GTA5?
I did a gig at an arcade / go cart track and found old women go absolutely crazy over video games. I watched two old ladies play the Terminator Salvation game for an hour, in a joyous murderous frenzy. They got way further than I could.
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