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Desc:Proof provided by letter after letter from awful parents.
Category:Religious, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:RPG, Christian, Dungeons and Dragons, demons, onkneesforjesus
Submitted:kamlem
Date:11/04/13
Views:1360
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currently untitled (part 1)
Comment count is 18
Nikon
C'mon, there's no evil force embedded in TSR's games. You're confusing them with Black Dog Game Factory.
Pillager
The evil force left with Lorraine Williams.

SteamPoweredKleenex
Who was, ironically, a Christian.

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Lorraine_Williams

Although, given how she wrecked the company, she embodies a lot of what I've come to expect from Christians when given any measure of power.

SteamPoweredKleenex
I would say that products that are in any way backed by demonic forces would tend to not go bankrupt.
Syd Midnight
Or as some rockstar whose name I forget put it, "If backwards messages worked we'd have put 'Buy our albums' on every song."

oddeye
Think this came up in a trial involving suicide and Judas Priest.

Sexy Duck Cop
These videos are always great because of the wonderful questions they raise about the fundamentalist mindset, such as:

1) How many people, in the entire company, are consciously aware of Lucifer's presence in their job? Does the HR department have to undergo special sensitivity training for the Antichrist?

2) At what point do these figures become officially sanctified by Satan? Is the entire factory cursed ground or is there some harbinger of Ba'al that has to manually damn every figure? Do they have software to expedite the process, or is infusing the Prince of Darkness sort of like an old Italian cheese commercial where everything is hand-damned just like in the old country?

3) If you're a high-ranking C-suite executive coming onboard from another company, at what point do you learn that your "role-playing game company" is just a front for the Beast? Are you allowed to get your picture taken with the Beast? Would he be offended if you got drunk and asked to ride him at the office Christmas party?
cognitivedissonance
"Today, we're celebrating the birth of MY ANCIENT NEMESIS, WHO WILL EVENTUALLY DAMN ME IRREGARDLESS OF ANY ACTION I MIGHT TAKE, so I've arranged Shell gas gift cards for everyone and ALMOND ROCA AS A LITTLE TREAT."

This Satan is the Peter Cook Satan from "Bedazzled".

Caminante Nocturno
What happens when the damning hardware/software breaks down? Do they have in-house specialists to fix that for them, or do they call in the Geek Squad to help reboot their Satanic software? Are there technical colleges that give courses in fixing machines that infuse merchandise with Satan's power?

How far does Satan's reach go into the modern capitalist system, and how do fundamentalist Christians reconcile that with their unconditional love of the free market?

Sexy Duck Cop
If the FTC found monster ghosts in my books and toys, could they be pulled off the market?

Exactly what sort of sins is industrial-scale factory damnation supposed to induce? Do I have to become a full-blown witch for Satan to break even? What if I just eat a lot of shrimp and use the wrong incense during my Passover sacrifice?

Who gets fired if D&D initially causes me to spit in the face of Christ's precious love gift, but then in His divine grace I repent and become a stronger Christian as a result?

EvilHomer
D&D was created by God to test the faith of True Christians.

Unfortunately, the module was designed with a party of Level 15 Christians in mind, and you guys are all Level 4 and below, so I guess you're screwed.



God is a killer DM.

Sexy Duck Cop
God: "The Goblin King takes over your country and uses it to buy LMFAO songs off iTunes. How do you respond?"
The People of Syria: "My Idealistic College Student retaliates with a catchy protest song."
God: "Your Idealistic College Student pulls out his banjo and starts a catchy chant. The people are inspired. It seems as though everything is going to work itself out after all. Suddenly, giant spikes grow out of the walls and instantly crush you. Your banjo is confiscated."

Oscar Wildcat
Sounds like whatever those die were made of were outgassing heavily when they started to heat up. Don't discount the observation; just the observer.
Caminante Nocturno
Thanks for polluting the air with demon ashes, you idiots. What are we supposed to do if a flock of birds flies through that cloud of demon ashes?
dairyqueenlatifah
I hate that Youtube hadn't been invented yet.

I want to see those screaming game pieces damnit.
robotkarateman
You would think humanity would've learned a long time ago that all it took to beat Satan was an open flame.
The God of Biscuits
I like to point out the gruesomeness of the Bible the same way.
memedumpster
Notice Christians are always in the company of the demonic?
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