Even if there weren't other funny bits, just her mentioning Homestuck was worth 5 stars.
So it turns out that if you rewrite the dialogue, change the genre to comedy, rework the dubbing and cut the run-time in half you can make even the most tediously overwrought anime not suck.
It's a real pity the copyright owners on these anime series probably wouldn't let this stuff be made in any official capacity on Cartoon Network or Comedy Central. It'd kill.
I couldn't believe the runtime on the official episodes was a whole hour! Pauses pauses pauses ridiculous monologue pauses pauses.
It's also barely better than Dragon Ball Z in that the hero is never in danger because every fight is won by advancing to a SECRET NEVER BEFORE SEEN POWER LEVEL.
I actually prefer the comic, not just because it's the 'original' so it's automatically better or what have you, but because it's faster paced than the animated adaptions and isn't so self-serious, rather the Hellsing manga is violent and tongue in cheek, with a touch of knowing silliness, in all the right ways.
A lot of anime animation tropes were made to save money. Do they now have long, boring monologues in them out of tradition, or is it still the case that having someone stand still apart from looping their hair/cloak waving in the wind is the only way they can afford to make this stuff?
I noticed they had a couple of voice actor pros in this one, names I remember from anime dubs of years past, the voice of Nazi shooter "Rip Van Winkle", now reimagined as the most annoying tumblrite (all that's missing is an obsession with claiming Tumblr 'belongs' to fandom or Superwholock...don't ask about that) provided by Jessica Cavello.
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