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Desc:It has gotten worse. Abandon all hope ye who enter here.
Category:Horror
Tags:Filth, biohazard, Chris-Chan, hoarder
Submitted:rhombus
Date:12/11/13
Views:2018
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Chris-Chan Erotically Lowers His Standards, Is Willing To Have Sex For Money
Comment count is 45
EvilHomer - 2013-12-11
"Resident Evil Fridge" is a great new CWCism! I have a feeling that's going to be the most enduring and culturally significant part of this video.

So what prompted this new house tour? I know he's been taking some tentative steps back onto the productive side of the internet these last few months. I think he's a brony and a full-fledged transvestite now, there was that Megan blowup on Facebook (i thought Megan was old news, but Christ almighty...), and didn't he recently get banned from WalMart for some reason?
EvilHomer - 2013-12-11
-edit- OK, yeah, I checked the CWCiki; he got banned from the Ruckersville Walmart for vandalizing an XBone advertisement, and apparently this video was leaked by the Asperchu guy. How he got hold of it and why Chris decided to make it at all is still unknown.

rhombus - 2013-12-11
I am unaware of what prompted this video's creation. Although, it would appear (based upon the condition of the yard) to have been made a few months ago at least. Considering that Chris's father (RIP) told him to take down the original tour video otherwise they may lose the home, I wonder if the release of this new house tour video is a cry for help of sorts? Perhaps he thinks that if he puts this out here that someone will help them take care of the mess? Although, I highly suspect that I am over-thinking the intentions of Chris. This is probably just the work of a well-placed troll.

Just to add further context to the horror of the house, however, Chris uploaded a Facebook post a while back indicating that they had scabies in the house. Source: http://i.imgur.com/34zg6U5.png

garcet71283 - 2013-12-11
Wow...im actually really sad after reading that.

EvilHomer - 2013-12-12
Is it possible to call the Hoarders television crew and get them hooked up with Chris? It'd be the best episode of Hoarders ever, and it'd help the remaining Chandlers immensely. Everyone wins!

EvilHomer - 2013-12-12
If he got a Kickstarter going, I'd totally send him money to hire a professional cleanup crew. I wouldn't just send him the money, because then he'd spend it all on toys and video games, but as long as he had a legally actionable obligation to hire said crew, I'd be willing to risk it.

I'd also back a Kickstarter for more Sonichu comics.

Adham Nu'man - 2013-12-12
I support the Hoarders motion.

DavidBowiesLuckyTennisBall - 2013-12-12
That Facebook post displays a degree of self-awareness hitherto missing from all of his previous videos. He's either grown up real quick, or maybe it was an act all along? Maybe, having attempted to gain attention to his plight, he's given up? Or maybe he had a moment where he looked at his mother, saw his future, and something snapped?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2013-12-12
DBLTB: How does that Facebook post show any self-awareness? He literally just said "I live with my mom in a house so unsanitary we had to import parasites from 19th-century London, I'm unemployed, clinically depressed, and unsure of even my most basic sexual identity. Could a random woman come by and clean my disgusting house in between blowjobs? P.S. I have nothing to offer."

P.P.S.: DBLTB sounds like a delicious sandwich.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-12-12
Thirding the Hoarders notion. It's like calling in an airstrike; sometimes it's the only solution.

memedumpster - 2013-12-12
You guys.

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/hoarding-buried-alive/about-the-sh ow/hoarding-casting.htm

Money, meet mouth, I dare you.

DavidBowiesLuckyTennisBall - 2013-12-12
SDC: I can't put my finger on it, but he just seemed to be more aware of the horror that surrounds him than in previous videos I've seen, where he was locked in his bizarre fantasy world.

Incidentally, going back through his old videos on here is a joy - half of them are down but the comments always make up for it.

EvilHomer - 2013-12-12
I think he's always been this aware about the state of his house. Chris is nuts, but he's not a hoarder, at least not to the degree his mom is, and his original house tour featured similar commentary. The impression I've always got is that Chris knows his mom has a problem, and he does not like it, but he's too lazy / resigned / depressed to really get off his ass and do anything about it. His outlook is one of quiet despair.

He's locked in his own bizarre fantasy world on most issues, but the squalor is something he seems to have always been aware of, and I suspect it may be one of the biggest triggers for his escapism.

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-12-12
I think Chris is more than ready for his 15 minutes of mainstream celebrity. Maybe more; He'd put that boring old tart Lady Gaga out to pasture with the twerk video alone. Can the Hoarders show rocket our internet sensation to mainstream celebrity stardom??? Stay tuned...

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-12
Funny thing is, so many people know enough personal information about Chris and Barb to be able to fill out that entire Hoarding Casting card on their own while providing lots of pictures that Chris knowingly provided them with.

Sexy Duck Cop - 2013-12-13
The Hoarders producers already attempted to reach out to the Chandlers, but they refused to answer for fear of another trolljob.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-11
These poor people. Untreated mental illness is a really sad thing. It could easily catch fire and trap them inside.
Riskbreaker - 2013-12-11
No kidding, this guy might be a helpless idiot, broken beyond repair, but that place is a time bomb waiting to explode.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2013-12-11
It's going to be one hell of an estate sale, though. You'll want to microwave any books/cloth items and seal anything larger in a plastic bag for about a month.

Pillager - 2013-12-12
@ SteamPoweredKleenex, I hope all your shots are up to date...

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-02-27
His house is not going to catch fire.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-27
I didn't know how prophetic my words would be. What was it, a couple weeks later that it burnt down?

hammsangwich - 2013-12-11
Oooohh, a split entry. That's going to be hard to resell.
Cherry Pop Culture - 2013-12-11
Is this a plea for help? I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
KingOfTheLizzards - 2013-12-11
I long await the day when Hoarders helps him clean up this mess.
Monkey Napoleon - 2013-12-11
The only thing that made me sad was seeing those nice cars in the driveway. It took a split second for my brain to go "oh right, inheritance". For all the problems these two have, a chunk of money could have really made a difference in their lives... and they spent it on fucking cars.
Sexy Duck Cop - 2013-12-12
Which was the exact moment I stopped feeling sorry for them.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2013-12-11
Knowing that he has dogs there's no way I'm watching this.
MacGyver Style Bomb - 2013-12-11
A quick look at the CWCki Forms show that even the people there are showing genuine concern and sympathy in response to this video.
candyheadrobot - 2013-12-12
...Umm...someone do something? I've never spent too much time on this guy, but I think I know the end cycle of these types when I see it. With all the stuff people know about him, it would be good if someone at least attempted to help him out, as he looks like he's in a pretty bad way.

...Oh what the fuck am I talking about. Burn away human train wreck. Hope the smoke from your fire chokes the gods.
Oscar Wildcat - 2013-12-12
Seriously, what do you suggest? He's had many chances to get his life together, and you've seen the results. I'd suggest actually paying him for all the free entertainment he's pooped out over the years; you've likely supported much worse in purchasing entertainment than this fellow. But we all know how that would end.

An odd situation, no?

Oscar Wildcat - 2013-12-12
I mean, other than your closing thought which pretty much sums up the human condition. Coz I think you're right and we're not too far from crack whoredom and incarceration/homelessness.

candyheadrobot - 2013-12-13
Oh I've got no suggestions, that was just me trying to absolve myself of the guilt from bystanding while this guy makes a mockery of himself out of what I can only guess as being some synaptic misfires that seem to tell him that debasing himself is good because it'll garner him attention from people, which is probably better than being alone with his thoughts, and I wonder what he might be like if he received some form of genuine compassion instead of open ridicule and disingenuous affinity. Of course that's all coming from white knight pop psychology again used to eschew any notions that I have anything but goodwill towards anyone but myself, because come on let's be serious, who really gives a shit about anyone else. If you do, then you'll take it upon yourself to do something about what you don't like, because that's actually proof of your notion, and a notion without proof is just words, and words can never invoke an abstract possibility, amirite?

Look, I'm sorry, I know I'm being a giant douche sitting at my keyboard typing impotent platitudes. I've been around long enough to know the score with this guy, and I've stuck my neck out for people before too, still got the burns to prove it. Sadly, I'm one of those infinite "if we ALL decided to do the right thing" people, and I think that when it gets like this, you either stop watching and genuinely reach out, or stop watching. There are a lot of things that we can't do anything about as everyday people, but there's a choice to make here as individuals, and a point when things shouldn't be funny anymore.

Am I allowed back at the cool kids table now?

Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-01-03
One of the fun things about following Chris-Chan for years is watching the moral/existential/spiritual crises he triggers in people. At some point, everyone watching a CWC video asks themselves "Am I a good person? Does morality even exist or is it just a collection of ethical precepts arbitrarily determined by social mores?"

EvilHomer - 2015-01-03
>> One of the fun things about following Chris-Chan for years is watching the moral/existential/spiritual crises he triggers in people. At some point, everyone watching a CWC video asks themselves "Am I a good person? Does morality even exist or is it just a collection of ethical precepts arbitrarily determined by social mores?"


That's actually a really good insight, SDC. Ghost stars for you!

CuteLucca - 2013-12-12
Poor guy. I've always felt a little bad for him, as he and his family all have some pretty major unresolved issues.

On another note though, some lamps were on in rooms that appeared to be completely inaccessable. You think they've been just sitting there, on, for months as stuff piled up around them?
American Standard - 2013-12-12
jesus christ someone help these people.
Sexy Duck Cop - 2013-12-12
A lot of you are decent human beings and are calling for someone to help Chris out, and you deserve to be commended for being nice on the Internet. But Chris-Chan doesn't deserve help because he won't accept it. I know. I've tried.

At the height of his bullying, during the Ivy fiasco I think, I messaged him on Facebook to warn him. He was a complete asshole from the first second, calling me a faggot and monologing about Star Fox Adventures For Nintendo Gamecube (C) 2006. (Yes, he really put the copyright logo in a private conversation.)

Other people report similar experiences. They try to politely help him and he screams insults, refuses to listen to any advice, and doubles down on the party line.

That's why he doesn't deserve help. You'd clean out his house, convince him to move to a smaller apartment, have a nice estate sale, and I promise you within an hour he'd blow the money on dildos and eyeliner. By the end of the day, you'd be a Republican. And you really don't want more Republicans, do you?
Oscar Wildcat - 2013-12-12
AHA! But if he _didn't_ act that way, he wouldn't be Chris-chan, and we wouldn't be paying any attention to the guy to begin with.

It strikes me that if we actually want to help him, we would have to participate in his artistic expression and do as the trolls do. But rather than a pie in the face, there would be something beneficial in the end. Like say, you pretend to be his Hero Woman, and actually you know send him money/cleaning crew/whatever. Then watch him meltdown as his house is cleaned, etc.

It's a peculiar expression of Grace, but this is the POE.

memedumpster - 2013-12-12
It may surprise you to learn that you can't help broken people on your own, or their, terms.

Monkey Napoleon - 2013-12-12
Well, you COULD hire a hitman to quickly and painlessly put them out of their misery.

Quad9Damage - 2013-12-15
Chris-chan is what happens when an elderly couple, including a man who has already lived the biggest years of his life and a woman with mental illnesses of her own, gives birth to a child on the autism spectrum. The parents don't know what to do with the child or the kind of attention he needs, and the result is an adult creature that stalks his female companions and constantly humiliates himself online in a never-ending quest to win pussy.

I would place the blame largely on Chris' parents for what has been unleashed, but at some point, no matter how broken a person is, parental responsibility stops and personal responsibility has to step in. Does Chris-chan have the capability to change on his own? Is Barbara's continued doting forever keeping him from growing up? One thing's for sure: in his current state, Chris-chan is an awful human being, and it's difficult to keep feeling sorry for him after only a small amount of research.

In summation, trying to make sense out of it gives me a severe headache. I don't know what to think. Smarter minds can do better than me.

Quad9Damage - 2013-12-12
The bathroom doesn't look much different than when the "trolls" last saw it.
Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-12
all those damned dirty bathroom trolls!

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-01-11
RIP Resident Evil Fridge.
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