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Desc:Fire by Nite explores how only Jesus can save you from pretend make believe.
Category:Religious, Arts
Tags:satan, idiots, dungeons & dragons, lol xians, fire by nite
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
Date:12/28/13
Views:2064
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Comment count is 32
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2013-12-28
One of the best things about this is he thinks the Necronomicon is real and anyone can purchase it.
Old_Zircon - 2013-12-28
I bought it for when I was 11, it's real in the sense that someone "discovered" it during the 70s MAGICK fad and has probably been doing OK from it, since their "discovery" has been in print ever since.

http://darkbooks.org/pp.php?v=1422965581

Old_Zircon - 2013-12-28
I'm pretty sure there's a Nook edition.

Old_Zircon - 2013-12-28
5 BAPHOMET PENTAGRAMS

cognitivedissonance - 2013-12-29
2 things about the Necronomicon as real world magickal artifact:

1. The "Simon" Necronomicon is fairly commonly available at new age shops and used book stores. I have a copy of it around here somewhere. This is the one Old Zircon is referring to. It's essentially the "Chaldean Oracles" with some Enochian sigils and it's a great prop to have on the coffee table.

2. Kenneth Grant, Aleister Crowley's final secretary and self-proclaimed heir to Thelema (although many, many, many would dispute that) got heavily into Lovecraft in his later years. He held that not only were the Elder Gods and whatnot real due to lingering in the Jungian Collective Unconscious, it was also possible to work with other fictional characters, such as martians, Gandalf the Grey, Superman, etc., to bypass the thoughtforms summoned by Goetic magick. This would be echoed quite heavily by Grant Morrison, who holds that the Flash can be assumed in godform as a representation of Hermes/Thoth. And maybe they're both right, nerds who get really into their fandoms can seem somewhat possessed.

EvilHomer - 2013-12-29
So Kenneth Grant was the original Otherkin?

exy - 2013-12-28
What influence did heavy metal music have on your decent into Satanism?
EvilHomer - 2013-12-28
HOLD ON.

4:31. Excuse me, Beard Guy, but that's munchkin shit you're talking about. I don't care how impractical or inefficient it is, *I* stick by my moral guidelines. Like that time I kidnapped the Archduke's virgin daughter... my party wanted to ransom her off for a galleass ladened with Imperial platinum, but I was a Chaotic Evil Orc doom-guard, so I said to hell with the loot, tortured her to death, and devoured her still-warm flesh within the smoldering ruins of her father's holy chapel. SOME OF US ROLE PLAY, YA KNOW.

Also, 5:40. Yes they do. Hormone addled kids are naturally bloodthirsty, and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't this the crux of most conservative Christian arguments about the necessity of God? Man is cruel sinful by nature, and he needs moral instruction from a nanny-Church in order to live a life free of murder and sodomy?
bopeton - 2013-12-28
These shows are pretty much all the same, but the thing that fascinates me most about them is that they have no idea how fucking awesome they make Satanism sound.

Sex rituals? Commit any sin you want? CANDLES IN YOUR ROOM?

Sign me up.
Gmork - 2013-12-28
Who here has starbound? Let's get a PoE starbound server going! I can host dedicated for entire weekends, maybe not indefinitely but for a good while.
Caminante Nocturno - 2013-12-28
Everyone from PoE that I played video games with abandoned me!

bopeton - 2013-12-28
Seriously though, how are we supposed to talk to each other outside of video comments?

Gmork - 2013-12-28
There's a facebook for PoEsters, but i'm too ascared.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-28
We abandoned you Cam because it became too weird to play TF2 with some weird old man who likes little cartoon girls.

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-28
I unashamedly love this show.

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-12-29
Abandoners! May you all taste the same betrayal you have made me suffer!

Jet Bin Fever - 2013-12-30
haha also not meant as a reply. But, I love the Caminante abandonment show too!

dementomstie - 2013-12-28
D&D is not pretend make believe! It's real make believe!
ashtar. - 2013-12-28
Their make believe conflicts with our make believe! There can be only one made up bullshit magic system!

Gmork - 2013-12-28
Jews still use edition 2.5

Caminante Nocturno - 2013-12-28
The "Saved by the Bell" graphics really go well with the talk of sacrifices and breeders.
memedumpster - 2013-12-28
Bob Larson! Yes!

Right, like Christians aren't dice chuckers. Look at all these commands to roll for treasure and events.

http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=lots&qs_v ersion=NIV

Meanwhile in science...
“God does not play dice with the universe”.


Christianity, therefore, is Satanic role playing.
That guy - 2013-12-28
But there's a difference: d&d uses d12 the least, on purpose, out of disrespect to the apostles...

BorrowedSolution - 2013-12-28
Aww, he's so cute, pretending he's been in orgies.
exy - 2013-12-28
No dude, seriously. This one time a girl came and sat on the couch during the entire Hill Giants module run-through and drank like 2 beers. There were some really racy jokes told that night! It's shameful what happens at these d&d orgies.

BorrowedSolution - 2013-12-28
Oh snap! In that case, sign me up!

BHWW - 2013-12-28
It may not be a gateway to Satanism, but from my observations D&D has often been a gateway to tolerance of Cheetos-dusted neckbeards and to activities like LARPing and "freaking the mundanes" i.e. showing up at the local restaraunt or park or shopping center dressed in fruity costumes and thinking that it's totally blowing peoples' minds.
Cena_mark - 2013-12-28
Yay, Young Bob Larson!
Old_Zircon - 2013-12-29
Everyone on this site should have a copy of "Larson's Book of Cults."

I wouldn't mind having a copy of "Lasron's New Book of Cults," too. I wonder if he still includes Buddhism.

Syd Midnight - 2013-12-29
Everyone should have a copy of "Satanism: Seduction of America's Youth" too because his rants about the Rolling Stones and Metallica, and anecdotes where he doesn't realize he got thoroughly owned by teenagers just get better with time.

Bob Guccione once hired him to go on tour with Slayer, he made it one day before they abandoned his ass while he was taking a dump at a gas station in Germany. That was a fun Spin article.

Oh so many funny memories.

StanleyPain - 2013-12-28
Yeah, I remember all those campaigns I did with my friends in high school where we roamed Greyhawk and killed puppies and worshipped Satan...

what.
Juice Eggs McKenna - 2015-06-23
The only thing couldn't find in the Satanic book store was Dungeons & Dragons? How bizarre.
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