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Comment count is 45
RocketBlender - 2014-02-03

Beat me to posting it. Check out the 'cokesux' hashtag on twitter for the bulk of the insanity.

EvilHomer - 2014-02-03

So were there ANY good ads this time around? Or did they all suck as bad as the Denver Bronies?

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-02-03

Isn't "good ads" an oxymoron?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-02-03

This one was pretty awesome, since it made the Tea Baggers collectively shit themselves and hoist their racist douchefuckers flag high enough you could see it from orbit.

It makes me wonder if the wingnuts have managed to get "The Great Melting Pot" as a description for America deleted from school textbooks.

Change - 2014-02-03



RockBolt - 2014-02-03

As Colbert put it, "E Pluribus Unum" is now Latin for SPEAK ENGLISH

infinite zest - 2014-02-03

The Volkswagon one made me actually laugh, and the Budwizer one was cheesy but heartfelt and cute. Other than that, yeah the Lawyer guy.

EvilHomer - 2014-02-04

If the Lawyer commercial was the best one, then America's in some serious trouble.

Does Kickstarter let you fund advertisements? We should try crowdfunding a spot for next year's Superbowl; our ad could be for poeTV, or maybe wolf urine?

Change - 2014-02-04




Jamie Casino is a sledgehammer wielding superhero with a dark past, the will to win, and a great haircut. He is a goddamned superhero and if you have a problem with him I will fight you.

betabox - 2014-02-03

I'd like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony. And one of the songs I'd like to teach would be a celebration of all that's good about America, and which was written by a lesbian.

M-DEEM - 2014-02-03

This is going to be a problem. Don't southerners call all types of pop "coke"?

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-03

Coke is doing their part in preventing Type 2 diabetes by convincing racist hambeasts not to drink their product!

EvilHomer - 2014-02-03

Who calls soda "pop"? Weirdo.

M-DEEM - 2014-02-03

I was gonna go with sodapop. But that's just insane.

RockBolt - 2014-02-03

Here's a map

Its Coke in the south, soda on the coasts and St Louis, pop everywhere else, in general

Here's the rest of this guy's research, its a fun read

infinite zest - 2014-02-03

When I was in the South everything was "coke." You'd get a sprite coke, a mister pibb coke, 7up coke, even a pepsi coke. Normally if I go to a bar and want a rum and cola drink, I'll just say "rum and coke please" and not really care about the fact that it most likely was other thing that tastes like coke, but people take that shit really seriously. My dad and I were at some diner when I was a kid and we were asked to leave because he ordered a coke and the waitress said "we have RC" and he said "OK.. same thing right?" and she flipped the fuck out on us about how RC's NOTHING like Pepsi or Coke.

EvilHomer - 2014-02-03

As well she should. RC, Coke, and Pepsi taste nothing alike. They are as different as Foxon is from Faygo.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-04

As a Tennessean I am qualified to state that here Coke is anything malt and brown that isn't Dr. Pepper or Root Beer. The rest are called by their names... "Give me a large Mello Yello" and such. I don't think people even treat them all as a category where I'm from, but as individual things unto themselves.

lordyam - 2014-02-04

where im from we just call it 'cold drink'

Louis Armstrong - 2014-02-04

The John Stamos yogurt/full house was the winner.

sosage - 2014-02-03

When I saw this ad I knew stupid people were going to get mad.

What I find strange about the entire SuperBowl adorama is that"America" seems to be the product pushed the hardest. Who are we trying to convince to buy into this America thing in 2014? Or is it just 100% pandering to ourselves at this point?

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-03

Sounds like sausage here has got a problem with America boys. Let's show him what we think about that!

EvilHomer - 2014-02-03

Pandering to ourselves has always been the essence of the Superbowl. It's like the Mass Games, only instead of glorifying the Nation and the Great Leader, we glorify the Nation and the Great Soda Providers.

Which is Coke, by the way. Pepsi tastes like ass.

bac - 2014-02-03

These adds weren't designed to make people feel more proud about america. they were designed to make you proud to buy from a corporation that's as patriotic as you are.

pastorofmuppets - 2014-02-04

It's to the point where the commercials that don't play like tourism ads for America's factories just seem gauche somehow.

But bac has it right, especially where Budweiser and Chrysler are concerned.

I guess the one exception was where Bob Dylan told me to go out and get a swiss watch, that was pretty big of him.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-02-03

Big 5 for a multinational corporation that sells retail in every conceivable corner of the planet somehow representing America.

Hooker - 2014-02-03

Well, it was started in the racist south's largest city.

pastorofmuppets - 2014-02-04

At least they're hq'd here. I already said it, but... Budweiser. Chrysler. It's like they're gaslighting us.

The Great Hippo - 2014-02-03

I can't help but wonder if Coke executives okay'd this commercial knowing fully well it would create a controversy, and knowing fully well that in doing so, they'd rally support from anyone with half a brain to buy more Coke products.

If so, good for them!

infinite zest - 2014-02-03

I don't really get the controversy, except for the ambiguously-at-best homosexual couple holding hands (because, you know, two guys holding hands makes them totally gay, and even though the FUCKING POPE says it's cool it doesn't mean that he's wrong even though he's infallible) *brain explodes* . Plus I feel like I've seen multi-lingual American national anthems before at many sporting events in the past, but it's usually some country that we're defending so I guess that makes it OK?

America Fuck You

EvilHomer - 2014-02-04

Of course they did, Hippo. In fact, I bet they spent a million dollars on market research, trying to determine if the potential losses to their customer base in backwoods Alabama would be offset by the potential gains in fedora-wearing Portland.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-02-04

Yup, I would guess that the demographic coke appeals to least is more liberal people, on account of them not liking HFCS and all.

This ad is not only designed to appeal to those types of people and make them feel good about themselves, but Coke knew that it would piss off a small handful of loudly racist rednecks (not enough to disrupt sales, and most of them won't even stick to their boycott because Coke), and suddenly you've got all kinds of people swooping in to defend Coca-Cola Co. when last year they were probably railing about what a shit corporation it is for selling evil corn sugar water that spreads obesity.

Pretty fucking brilliant, actually.

Change - 2014-02-03

I refuse to believe any of the 'outrage' about this was real. Coke is balls deep in the Sochi drama, and they've just reported significant loses because of it.

This is a viral campaign, designed to win back the same sort of customers that they've alienated.

The Mothership - 2014-02-03

Nothing says freedom more than overpriced government-subsidized sugar water.

fermun - 2014-02-03

I was so certain when I saw this that the same sex couple and their daughter at about 45 to 50 seconds in was what would piss people off more.

infinite zest - 2014-02-03

Everyone knows Mexican Coke is way better.

Cena_mark - 2014-02-04

Foreigners, women, and non-Christians! OH MY!

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-02-04

Does anyone else think that the controversy around the whole "They shouldn't sing in other languages about America" is actually code for "They shouldn't have put a Muslim woman where I can see her and also sing about America"?

bac - 2014-02-04

Don't forget about them mexicans singing in mexican.

Binro the Heretic - 2014-02-04


I got it!

It's because they sing "GOD shed his grace on thee", right?

That's what's got everyone so het up, isn't it?

Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-02-04

that line always seemed odd to me. Like God is on the couch just shedding grace everywhere. God grace on the floor, in the closet, on the stairs, in your shoes...

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-02-04

He has a really dry scalp.

Robin Kestrel - 2014-02-04

Melting pot my ass.

Kabbage - 2014-02-04

Relevant GOP commentary:

http://gopthedailydose.tumblr.com/post/ 75596009519/the-refreshing-taste-of-diet-cork

cognitivedissonance - 2014-02-04

There are places in the Deep South where Pepsi is still called "Nigger Drink". Taking Coke away from them leaves them with Dr. Thunder and Mountain Crisp.

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