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Desc:pay attention to meeeee...
Category:Accidents & Explosions
Tags:old, lowtax, goon, somethingawful, meme
Submitted:WHO WANTS DESSERT
Date:02/17/14
Views:1884
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Comment count is 31
The God of Biscuits
5 stars for the emptiness that must be consuming him.
infinite zest
Huh. Somehow I've gone this whole time not knowing what Lowtax looks like. I'd say he looks pretty good. I occasionally still read SA, and really like Zach Parson's contributions (if you haven't read "My Tank is Fight" do yourself a favor and check it out from your local library), but it's hit and miss. Back around the time of Oldmanmurray it was almost consistently "hit" for me, but then again I was like 17 years old so maybe I just grew out of it, like Lowtax has apparently not.

It's not the kind of website I read every day (to be honest it's just poeTV and Aljazeera.) It's a good way to keep up on memes without going through the shit of 4chan or #anonymous, and Photoshop Friday still makes me chuckle, so it's a pass. It's been so long that I can't even remember what the feud between poe and SA was about or how it started.

So 5 stars to see a grown-ass man destroy two useless devices, one of which I've never heard of.
Sputum
he's been doing these terrible video game demos with shmorky that are actually pretty fun to watch lately.
Old_Zircon
I've actually been enjoying those too.

theSnake
I read his site was in the shitter and hemorrhaging money because of the same unfunny social justice AIDS that ruined POE News.
deadpan
One of the SA forum mods was convicted of child molestation a few months back and it's shaken things up a bit over there.

EvilHomer
HA! Is it this guy? (link may contain NSFW subject matter)

somethingsensitive.com/index.php?topic=1398.0

I don't know what's better - the fact that SA has been harbouring a child molester, or the fact that SA has it's own bo-news.

infinite zest
If it's the same mod I'm thinking of, the case is old. He was like 14 and was babysitting a 10 year old and molested her or something. Fucked up, yes, and I'm NOT defending his actions, but the mind of a 14 year old is, well, a very sexually deprived and horny one in contrast to a late 20/early 30-something's.

At least in Wisconsin, sex offenders are required to be on an online registry, so it's all out there in the open. My ex and I were drunk one night searching random names (mostly our own names and close friends) and discovered that the person who lived directly above us was in the system for sexual assault against a minor. It was like a "holy shit! We see that guy every day and he seems perfectly normal" kind of moment. We found out later that he was 18, and the girl was 16 or 17, can't remember, and she didn't tell him that. The dad of course found out and that was that.

There's a big difference between that person's case and the mod's, but most of the hate I've seen has been harsh and almost cruel in my opinion. If you get a job, you have to go through the same background check, and sure: if you're working with children or something, a sexual offense such as this means you probably won't get the job. If it's a warehouse or clerical position with adults, a prior offense, although (again) fucked up, shouldn't really be factored in. He's a mod, usually under complete anonymity for a forum whose humor is aimed at adults. I don't think a prior offense such as this should be held against him for the rest of his life.

deadpan
Eight-year-olds, Dude.

infinite zest
haha yeah there's really no defending his actions, but at least The Jesus was a grown man, I think.. (if you want to kill some time, do what I did and google "the jesus sex offender." Interesting stuff.) When I wrote that this story was just something I heard a while ago, but upon further investigation he was a mod since like '04 and was sentenced in '07, which means he disappeared for whatever reason for a considerable amount of time. If I disappear nobody will notice, but I'm not a moderator on poeTV. So when he came back (assuming he wasn't still moderating from prison, which would be REALLY creepy) I'd have to assume someone at SA would be like "hey, where were you? Your forum's unmoderated.." yarg

infinite zest
Honestly I don't know the whole story, but I'm assuming that a mod is an unpaid gig. If it is paid, SA should have run a background check or something after a period of absence. If they didn't, then they could've just assumed he was on vacation, in a place with no internet, etc. If they did and found out, it should have been addressed and he should have gotten terminated on the spot instead of letting trolls who hate the mod do the work for them, damaging their reputation.

Adham Nu'man
Wait... I thought you were all sex offenders...

EvilHomer
Hey, to the best of my knowledge, what I did was legal in the country I did it in.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
Wow. That's, uh, a lot of words and effort spending trying to play down the repeated rape of a 10 year-old.

EvilHomer
Does this mean I can pay for forum access with Bitcoins now?
Quad9Damage
I started reading Something Awful during PoE's heyday but quit right after ROM Pit, Game Reviews, Awful Anime and Your Band Sucks stopped getting updated.

Oh, and this video is sad. If you have no camera presence and you're clearly aging it's generally a good idea to not do this sort of Thing.
Riskbreaker
Uwe Boll punched this man a bit too hard in the brain.
Hooker
I think I've told this story on here before, but I was at "Raging Boll" where Uwe Boll boxed Lowtax and a few other people (one was like a sixteen year old kid). Lowtax was hanging out before the show chatting up a group of what I assume was forum goons. A friend of mine went approached Lowtax to shake his hand and maybe get a friendly word. A _clearly_ uncomfortable Lowtax quickly looked between my friend's face and hand, then, after the least surreptitious brain malfunction ever, quickly TURNED HIS BACK to my friend to stand and face literally nothing. It was probably the most astonishing display of someone not handling a basic human interaction I've ever seen, and I've seen all manner of autistics and other developmentally disabled humans being in situations way out of their depth thanks to this site.

spikestoyiu
Probably one of my favorite moments ever (Lowtax getting beaten up by Uwe, that is). First he's trolled so hard that he actually believes Uwe is in on it and then he proceeds to not only get the shit beat out of him, but he manages to look like he's never thrown a punch in his life. Just flailing away like he's swatting at flies and turning his back every chance he gets. At one point I think he may go airborne. It's amazing.

Old_Zircon
I really need to rewatch that, when it happened I'd pretty much always ignored SA entirely, but I've gone on there a bit since then* so it would probably be a lot funnier now.

*I posted three times and then I got banned because apparently if you make a joke about one thread in a different thread in the same forum that means you're a "creepy internet detective" and the only way to contest the banning was to BUY ANOTHER ACCOUNT because the mod who banned me could only be reached by PM. I'd pretty much only joined so I could subscribe to trainwreck threads on whatever the forum that had advice threads was called, so that was the end of me paying attention and not so well spent.

Old_Zircon
Also I might be remembering wrong but I think that Ceej wrote a (free) nutrition and fitness book that's popular on there.

Old_Zircon
http://brainoverbrawn.com/

Is this our Clint or a different one?

BHWW
I stopped bothering with SA when they started letting Zach Parsons post his "original" fiction on the front page - he published a novel called "Liminal States" that from the sound of it is pretty bad, a mishmash of cliches from various genres as written by a huge nerd with a tin-ear for dialogue (so of course it got a positive blurb-review by Cory Doctorow).
yogarfield
Ugh. Doctorow couldn't write his way out of a heavily-steamed paper bag.

Caminante Nocturno
Oh my god, where did all of these sour grapes come from?!
Hooker
Seanbaby is the only one that transitioned to Web 2.0 well, isn't he? (Note: I don't personally care for Seanbaby's stuff, so keep that in mind if you're going to yell at me)
Nominal
Does Erik Wolpow count?

RedRust
"Doom House" was a classic.
Nominal
Ouch. And I thought Maddox's videos fell flat.
Jet Bin Fever
I wish I didn't know who this asshole was.
BorrowedSolution
That is honestly one of the most aggressively pathetic things I've ever seen. From the Chris-Chan jazz hands at the start, to the utterly limp-wristed hammer attack, to the drill/steak knife combo it was a perfect storm of a wasted existence.
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