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Desc:A game bundled with a 0 plastic statue of a robot.
Category:Video Games, Crime
Tags:Crap, rip-off, unboxing, Titanfall, DashieXP
Submitted:Binro the Heretic
Date:03/15/14
Views:1102
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Comment count is 27
Bort
"Anfall" is German for "attack", so I prefer to think of this game as "Tit Anfall".

NO ONE SURVIVED...BREAST ATTACK ON FUCK MOUNTAIN
Binro the Heretic
There were many, many unboxing videos for this thing. This one was by far the best. Of course, that's kind of like saying someone is the valedictorian of summer school. The rest were big sloppy blowjobs about how awesome this thing is and failed attempts to be "wacky".

Also, can we all agree "art books" are total bullshit, no matter how fancy their binding?
James Woods
The art book for The Last of Us is pretty awesome and I found it useful for lighting reference in my final animation film for school. But typically, yes, they're garbage.

Binro the Heretic
If they're more than just a pile of "concept art" and offer some insight to the methods behind the creative process, then they're okay.

But I think the conversation behind the genesis of most "art books" goes like this:

MARKETING GUY: "Hey, what are you doing with all those papers?"

ARTIST: "Oh, this is just a bunch of old rough concept sketches and shit I'm throwing out."

MARKETING GUY: "NO! Wait! We can totally sell those!"

ARTIST: "These are mostly unfinished and bear no resemblance to the finished game. Who would want them?"

MARKETING GUY: "We'll make them into an art book at about two bucks per unit, bundle it with the game and sell it as 'collector's edition' for a hundred bucks!"

ARTIST: "Oh yeah, I forgot you had that soulectomy last week. How's that working out?"

MARKETING GUY: "Great! I can be a complete bastard and not even feel a thing!"

James Woods
More like

Artist: I'm starving. Sounds good.

Binro the Heretic
I can't imagine they get paid anything extra for their art being used in an art book. I think it's more likely the company contracts them to do the art then relinquish all future rights and royalties.

Can anyone inside the industry confirm or deny this?

oddeye
I'm not in the industry but I can neither confirm nor deny this claim. Good-day gentlemen.

Kid Fenris
I enjoy art books that show how the production evolved, like that Darkstalkers book where you can see how each character went through half a dozen bizarre and completely different designs before they worked out the final versions.

But a Titanfall book? Eh.

oddeye
The only artbook I've ever received was a free one from spending far too much money at Games Workshop in Aberdeen, Scotland. After collecting "skulz" and mailing in some thing or other I got a John Blanche artbook (it was a hardcover black book with "John Blanche" written on it, still in absolutely perfect mint condition after all these years. Anyone with an idea of a price please share). Anyway, while the artwork itself could be kinda here or there in terms accepted technique or whatever they were awesome in setting the mood, proper brill I tell thee. His artwork seems to be a lot cleaner nowadays while still retaining that atmosphere which is right good.

TheOtherCapnS
Oh man, that is spectacular. I was certain that the box being so big was just a perspective trick!
Gmork
Now THAT is salesmanship. Getting "grown men" to purchase more giant plastic robots, years after their evangelion phase.
SolRo
The price of said unmovable statue is pretty crazy too.

Could get the best gundam kits for that money, and they are articulated figures with lots of functioning details.

Caminante Nocturno
Hey, at least Evangelion was the result of some poor Japanese man's nervous breakdown. Titanfall isn't going reach the standards set by that.

La Loco
"He's on the lean like he just took some syrup."
StanleyPain
What the fuck is this game anyway? Most articles I read leading up to it were like THIS IS THE MOST BRILLIANEST ONLINE GAME EVAR BECAUSE SHUT UP THAT WAY and they really never went into it much. Is it open world or just another fucking gray/brown arena shooter thing with giant robots?
oddeye
Six-a-side FPS with robots as far as I can tell. Nothing Battlefield 2142 hasn't done a billion times better before, probably.

SolRo
it looks a lot faster and acrobatic than the battleduty games, so it's probably closer to Tribes. With giant robots.

the 6v6 limit kept me from getting it though.

oddeye
Is that 6v6 limit on the PC version too? The last FPS I played with wall-running and shit was Blink which was a putrid vomit stain of a game. MAKE OF THIS WHAT YOU WILL DEAR READER!!

FABIO
I haven't read much about it because professional reviewers can't say anything about it other than SHUT IT HATERS YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR 6v6!!!

Tom Chick was an especially huge cunt about it.

oddeye
Brink sorry, not blink

StanleyPain
Are you fucking kidding me, it's not even open world or anything? Jesus....

BHWW
That and from what I've seen it's one of those games the Penny Arcade guys have done some comics about where the "punchline" is OMG THIS GAME IS SO FUN AND AMAZING YOU GUYS, which is always a good sign a game may be overhyped.

FABIO
Battlefield 2142 really was the pinnacle of military team shooters. BF3 was a Call of Duty clone with unlock grinding hell and BF4 was the same only broken.

Change
That was a really fucking annoying video.
Binro the Heretic
You should have seen the others that came up in the search.

Most consisted of professional game reviewers pretty much doing an infomercial for this piece of shit. I swear, some of them had QVC-quality banter about the "quality" of the plastic robot statue.

The rest were all just terrible and featured hardcore gamer archetypes from the skinny acne-pocked geek to the fat beardy nerd gushing about the statue from inside their cluttered bedrooms.

This guy at least has a good schtick and a clean house.

Sudan no1
Comes in a mom's-minivan-sized box.
maggotlimbo
This annoying thing has taken up the amount of space on my newsfeed for the past half a year that used to be reserved for Justin Beiber type bullshit. Therefore I assume it must be the Justin Beiber sized equivelant of videogame/franchise monstrosities & be continuously annoyed day-to-day by it for the next 10 years until it inevitably self destructs in shame, hookers & giant robots. Is that what this thing is about? I have no idea.
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