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Desc:Japan, you've done it again! Too whatever the hell this is for 73Q
Category:Arts, Stunts
Tags:gimmick, BABYMETAL, teenage japanese girls, death by eclecticution
Submitted:John Holmes Motherfucker
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Comment count is 61
EvilHomer - 2014-04-21
BABYMETAL is hands down my favorite metal band at the moment. I was so stoked to hear about the new album, and so help me Christ, if they don't stay together and turn this into a "real" thing (especially now that SuMetal has graduated from Sakura Gakuin), I will send dog turds to the office of their talent agency, every single day, until they capitulate to my demands.
Jet Bin Fever - 2014-04-21
You're either a very believable troll or an unbelievable weirdo Homer.

infinite zest - 2014-04-21
I liked this, the song and the video. I think I heard about Babymetal on poetv but maybe I was wrong since I can't find any with a simple search. Anyway, maybe a year or two ago I thought it was pretty novelty stuff, like Metalocalypse, just combining two things that seemingly don't belong together like metal and comedy. Or Elliott Smith followed by At the Gates on your girlfriend's mixtape (I like doing shit like that that.)

This song shows real talent and a blending of at least two genres into one: the visuals make it work, but I hear elements of Melt Banana/Bikini Kill too. I dunno. I'm pretty stoned.

infinite zest - 2014-04-21
Oh yeah. It was on here.. I was just searching for 'Baby Metal.' Anyway I'd much rather hear crossover music like this than Die Antwoord.

What, you're gonna sick the lions on me, or the bees, or the lions when they roar they shoot bees out of their mouths? Do your worst!

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Yeah, Metalocalypse is an apt comparison, as is Andrew WK, as bongoprophet said below. They're basically technical death metal mixed with Jpop, but they also incorporate elements of trance, metalcore, nerdcore, dubstep, rap, Jfolk, and third wave black metal... and it all works, which is the most amazing thing! They're like Marty Friedman's dream band.

This really isn't one of their best songs though, so if they've piqued your interest, I'd recommend you check out some of their other stuff too! Iine may be their most representative song in terms of showcasing a wide breadth of what they offer, but my favorite songs are Uki Uki Midnight and Megitsune, and my favorite video is probably the one for Headbanger.

And JBF, if I was trolling, don't you think I'd be marking for Sakura Gakuin, the Jpop band these three came from originally? (Sakura Gakuin is awesome, btw, def my favorite Idol band and the only one I can listen to unironically, but I know it'd be a social mistake to push them too hard)

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Sorry, I know I'm nerdgasming all over the place, but here's a few quick links for anyone interested in giving them a chance:

Megitsune (probably their biggest hit at the moment)

Iine (very comprehensive song, wicked danceline, and the breakdown is FVCKING KVLT):

Uki Uki Midnight (dubstep metal, also gives you a good look at the rest of the band; the skeleton guys)

Headbang (this is the one to show your insecure, self-conscious metalhead friends):

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Sorry, one more. One of the new songs:


This one reminds me SO MUCH of Nightwish, and I'm really glad they're letting Skullomania Guitar and Skullomania Keyboard shred the fuck out of their instruments.

infinite zest - 2014-04-22
Yeah. I was going to say something about Nightwish too. Opera and metal kind of go hand-in-hand though; there'd really be no metal without it. Same thing with Nightwish though.. I heard it at a bar, ostensibly played for a joke juxtaposed with some Reggae song and Guided by Voices, and I was like "what is this?" 5 minutes into a 12 minute song and I'm like "THIS IS WHAT'S UP!" Then I found out that they're like the biggest thing in the world, probably bigger in Eastern Europe than Beyonce is in the US. That's pretty cool.

Gmork - 2014-04-21
infinite zest - 2014-04-21

simon666 - 2014-04-21
\m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/

Also, the correct tag is: BABYMETAL

oddeye - 2014-04-21
Other than this not being performed by actual babies one thing bothered me. How come two of them get ear mounted mics or whatever they are called but the other one has a regular microphone?
Kid Fenris - 2014-04-21
The one with the mic is a reptilian (pause and zoom at 2:29 to see the scales beneath her face mask) controlling the other two, who are possibly androids.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-21
It's because Moametal and Yuimetal need to keep their hands free in order to do their synchronized dance moves. Hand gestures are a big part of their choreography.

Adham Nu'man - 2014-04-21
Why is the auditorium packed? Fucking humans.
Mother_Puncher - 2014-04-21
This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. Dont even care
Oscar Wildcat - 2014-04-21
I'm at a loss for words as well. Someone had to do it. Judging from the reaction here, it binds to a receptor site. I suppose you could torture Arabs with it at sufficient volume. Otherwise???

Mother_Puncher - 2014-04-21
Babymetal's sound has never been what I would consider unique because the sound itself is 2 styles shoehorned together and feels forced. I guess it's a unique combination and kind of needed to exist even just for novelty. Like "well we have made jpop metal so..." even if it isnt great.

My problem pretty much lies on the stage performance. Compared to kpop choreography this is really crappy and laughable. I don't care if they are dancing to something at a much faster pace and the moves are just bad. The dance moves seem to be just a bi-product of the fusion of jpop and metal instead of something thought out and feel as if they are just there to fill in the blanks between vocal parts. Nothing is really more awkward than watching a metal band with a designated singer who is given nothing to do when he isnt needed. Babymetal fills that void with crappy dancing and running around the stage because that's what they do in jpop.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-21
I'm sorry their dance moves don't measure up to your Kpop standards. How would you fix their choreography, if you were in charge?

Adham Nu'man - 2014-04-21
I would have them impaled while gasoline was poured on them before a cheering audience.

bongoprophet - 2014-04-22
Well I enjoyed this unironically. Maybe because I know too many pretentious metalheads who undoubtedly hates it but also maybe because it has the stupidly happy attitude of Andrew W.K.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Ah, a guro angle! Interesting. Not my thing, but fire and gasoline are pretty metal, and we all know how awesome Rammstein's shows are.

fedex - 2014-04-21
The giant hovering Mary Magdalene around 2:00 is a nice touch
Riskbreaker - 2014-04-21
Explain how this is any different from power metal bands singing about dragons and sorcery, or black metal bands with corpse paint and chainmails singing about satan.
EvilHomer - 2014-04-21
Well, for one, this is a lot more authentic. I can believe these girls enjoy chocolate, far more easily than I can believe that the members of Rhapsody have fought and killed dragons. Other than that, there's not much difference, which is why they're so awesome!

EvilHomer - 2014-04-21
Also, interesting aside, Marty Friedman is a big fan of the band. Lest anyone here doubts their metal streetcred.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-04-22
Name the instrumentalists of Babymetal.

That's the difference.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Their identity is a mystery, a callback to classic Buckethead, before he went all mainstream. Do we complain about Top Gear because nobody knows who the Stig really is?

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-04-22
I realize you're doing your happy troll shtick all over this video, but it is not a callback to Buckethead. It's studio musicians who are replaceable and are most likely treated like shit. It's manufactured, bland garbage, created by teams of songwriters and producers (none of whom include the frontchildren), and sold by using a gimmick and some young girls.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-04-22
You might say it's a rock brand, rather than a rock band.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Actually, Cap'n, the musicians behind BABYMETAL are respected indie metal, rock, and EDM stars who, thanks to the band, are getting breaks that they would never otherwise get. If you really want to know who's behind the scenes, here's an extensively researched article on the subject:


Now, just so we're clear, I feel ya, I really do! I'm a music hipster too! I know how it is, worrying about "authenticity" and fretting over "the corporations" all the time, and when I first heard the band, it took me a little while to get over my prejudice. But BABYMETAL is a talented group of people. The songwriters are serious musicians who know their shit and love what they do. The backing band may or may not be session guys, but they've all got serious chops, as you can plainly hear. The girls are very charismatic and fill their roles as frontwomen perfectly, and as mentioned elsewhere, they've got endorsements from "serious" metal gods like Friedman and Trivium (no offense, but between you or Marty, I'll go with Marty's opinion on what is and is not "true metal"). Everyone involved seems to have fun doing what they do, and more than that, their songs just flat-out ROCK. And isn't THAT what's most important? The sound and the feeling? Who cares if BABYMETAL is run by a talent agency, if they play good and sound great?

I mean, if authenticity is REALLY what you're going to complain about, then it bears pointing out that BABYMETAL is no less "authentic" than the Sex Pistols or the Velvet Underground or any of the classic hair metal bands of yore. And since musically they're far better than the Sex Pistols, not to mention most LA-style metal bands up to and including Skid Row, I'm finding it kinda hard to see what the big problem is here.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
(also, I've been wondering who the Skullomania guys are myself. At first I was thinking they might be the dudes from Kiba of Akiba, since one of BABYMETAL's first projects was a split EP with them. But a lot of the stuff on the new album goes technically well beyond anything I've heard KoA do.

My own personal theory is that the core backing band consists of Devon Townsend, Mike Portnoy, Billy Sheehan, and Janne Warman)

Riskbreaker - 2014-04-22
I'll tell you what's the difference: Baby Metal is far less embarrasing to hear than those examples i gave.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-04-22
That article confirms everything I said. And you passive-aggressively-happy-troll calling me a hipster is just funny.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
No, the article only confirms that BABYMETAL utilizes unseen talent, a self-evident observation which no one has ever disputed. It contradicts your dismissive attitude towards these hard-working artists (they are not "session musicians treated like shit"), and it completely overturns the standard knee-jerk reaction hipsters have, claiming that BABYMETAL is nothing more than "manufactured garbage". It is weapons-grade fun crafted by talented musicians with deep indie street cred.

Also Cap'n, I am not trying to be passive-aggressive or insulting when I call you a hipster. If you note, I included myself in that camp! You are what you are, as I am what I am. It's hard for people like us to be objective and look at bands on their own merits, rather than shoe-horning them in to our own incoherent narratives of authenticity.

Finally, as Riskbreaker says, it is actually far less embarrassing than most metal! Whatever else you may claim, I trust you can at least concede his argument, as well as the corollary - that, if one is able to listen to power metal and black metal unironically, one should also be able to listen to BABYMETAL.

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
You do listen to power and black metal, Capn, yes? Or no? Because if you don't, that might also go a long towards explaining why you don't "get" BABYMETAL. You really have to have a sophisticated understanding of the heavy metal artform to truly appreciate the genius of what Su, Moa, and Yui have accomplished.

Caminante Nocturno - 2014-04-21
John Holmes Motherfucker, have you been sneaking a peek at my iPod while I'm not looking?
Mother_Puncher - 2014-04-21
And the first person I thought of when I watched this. I thought "who has already masturbated to their little dance?"

It was you, Nocty.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-04-21
Of course he did. Some day you will have an unfulfilling relationship with an emotionally distant Japanese person, Cam, and your fantasy will come crashing down.

Caminante Nocturno - 2014-04-21
Sorry, Jet, it's kind of hard to make out what you're saying with that mouthful of sour grapes.

Billy the Poet - 2014-04-21
Well, I'll admit this sounds more like an actual nightmare than most metal.
Ryo-Cokey - 2014-04-21
Megitsune is a better song; though, perhaps somewhat less evil.
Billy the Poet - 2014-04-21
Where the hell have you been?

Nikon - 2014-04-21
That was fun. I'm glad to see Skullomania is still getting work.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-04-21
Not my jam, I guess.

Here's a discussion of BabyMetal that I very much enjoyed.

Hugo Gorilla - 2014-04-21
Put your "kitsunes" up.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-04-21
By the way, I just read that Hatsune Miku (the hologram) is going to be touring with Lady Gaga. Not sure which one is headlining.
EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
I hope it's Hatsune!

Anyway, John, like simon666 said, the correct tag is BABYMETAL. Or at least Babymetal. That's the way they stylize their name, it's all one word and they capitalize each letter. Sorry, I know that sounds a bit pedantic-nerdy, but future generations of poesters looking for BABYMETAL stuff will probably not be able to find it with the Baby Metal tag.

Gmork - 2014-04-22

EvilHomer - 2014-04-22
Trivium endorses BABYMETAL, so your hypothesis is demonstrably false. I'm sorry if they aren't edgy enough for you, Gmork, but maybe when they grow up they'll write songs about guns and eating people alive?

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-04-21
Just the worst. And I really like a lot of Japanese music. I had a radio show for four years in college where I just played Shibuya-kei and similar genres. But this is just the worst. It isn't even so bad that it's good by being entertaining.
Gmork - 2014-04-22

Riskbreaker - 2014-04-22
Do i really have to come here a put a bunch of videos of terrible japanese idols? Don't make me do it!

Chancho - 2014-04-21
This is for japophile fedora wearing sissy boys who jerk off to anything with a jap teenager. They cry into their pillows wishing a super-cool slanty-eyed teen was their girlfriend.

I was hoping Ghaal would rush on stage and start stabbing them and drinking their blood. Five stars for being jap crap.
oddeye - 2014-04-22
Guys let's not fight. This band exists to bridge the gap between two previously opposed groups of dorks. It's music of peace, integration and other fruity shit.
Jet Bin Fever - 2014-04-22
What if you saw one of them smoking like that girl from Morning Musume that got in all that trouble for it?

oddeye - 2014-04-22
It wouldn't count, these girls are like 12. It would be their parents and societies fault. Case closed.

ashtar. - 2014-04-22
These humans are appropriating skeleton culture.
Sputum - 2014-04-22
This is Japanese pop culture having a meltdown.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-04-22
In the immortal words of Ian Dury:

Pope Caius - 2014-04-22
I want to hear them cover "Too Much Blood."
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