|Binro the Heretic |
I'm sorry, Jello. Truly, I am. I did try for a while. I kept at it until well into my thirties.
But there was just so much of it. And every year there were fewer and fewer people like me. It was like Lucy and Ethel at the chocolate factory. It just kept coming faster and faster and everyone was just laughing at us.
And I just got tired...so very tired.
I failed you and I failed humanity.
Seems like kind of a waste for a sketch about Jello in Portland, unless he goes back in finds the guys in the pickup truck that threw the rock that Police Truck's based off of later in the episode.
I've said it before, but as a native Portlander I think this show's relatively cute, but I catch little clips to see places where my friends work, or my local hangouts to see how they're interpreted by two people who are NOT native, not that it matters anymore, I think if you moved here before 2003, you are now considered native or something..
Anyway, the problem I have is that the jokes don't apply to anything that's like.. "ooh that's so Portland.." like Portland's the only city who composts, drinks coffee other than Folgers, and has organic options. It's kind of universal everywhere I've lived to have these weird things, including people doing stuff like playing trombone on a unicycle, drum circles..
Point being, Seinfeld was a show where people could be like "ooh you're totally like Jerry or I'm sooo Elaine.." but it didn't matter if you were in NYC or Akron OH: People like that exist everywhere. They based the show out of New York but it wasn't called "4 New Yorkers" or "NY Stories.."
It wasn't very long-lived but MTV's Austin Stories did a much better job of showcasing the quirky nature of Austonians (?) and the city itself than I think Portlandia does. It's fun to notice little things like the facade of one bar or coffee shop not being the interior, but other than that it's like "yeah. I've waited for brunch in most cities. That's why I don't go to brunch on Sundays. Because people do it. Everywhere. How much longer does this go on?"
Binro the Heretic
In my defense, we really didn't have a lot to offer.
They had cool cars, electronic gadgets and really REALLY good-tasting coffee.
We had paying more for stuff produced by unionized labor, walking or taking public transport and sorting your garbage into different receptacles.
sorry for some bad grammar, between the PABST BLUE RIBBON and MODEST MOUSE I couldn't hear myself talk. Do they have PBR in other places anyway? Sorry for the SARCASM but we all TALK LIKE THIS here. And we type TALK instead of TYPE because we INVENTED ZINES, our VOICE
@binro: 4 and a half words for you: Gutter Punks With iPhones
Gutter punks with iPhones is such a true thing - I spent some time in the Pacific Northwest back in the Aughts and this sort of thing isn't specific to Portland, there's areas here and there...at worst, I encountered, amongst others some guy who hailed from upper Washington State from an apparently well-off family who liked bumming around, crashing on peoples' couches and participating in anarchist rallies or protests or whatever; and claimed to get from city to city by hopping trains because THE MAN wants you to take the bus like sheep, etc. etc. Despite being a grimy anarchist with a look that was like an unsavory blend of various sub-cultures, from 70's punker to Black Bloc'er he still somehow had plenty of money to blow on things like an expensive cell phone and laptop.
Heh.. we might have known the same guy. A trainhopper from Anacortes who was friends with my housemate whose 3-day stay turned into.. I think it was like 4 months, the FIRST TIME. Nice enough guy, but yeah he had a laptop that I could maybe afford after about 2 paychecks if I dunno.. decided I didn't really need to eat for the next month.. Also you think going to a really smoky bar the night before work warrants a new wardrobe for the day.. this guy had a smell that was in its own category of awful.
I traded in my beat up VW Rabbit for a 2001 Jetta, my minimum-wage record store job for an office job and traded in promiscuity for marriage, 3 things that 15-year-old-me would probably want to pound the crap out of then-27-year-old-me for doing. But I'm still punk as fuck, dagnabbit!
I love how any Portlandia post pretty much anywhere results in some lengthy essay about how people are supposed to feel about the show and who the right audience is and whether or not you need to be from Portland to get it, etc etc.
The responses are pretty much the most Portlandia-esque meta thing humanly possible.
Jet Bin Fever
I bless this thread for bringing up again how utterly ridiculous and horrible Gutterpunks are as failures of human beings. The last time I did so, I was threatened with violence by Lotsmoreorcs, who is probably asleep under a bridge right now. You guys speak the truth.
You definitely don't need to be from or live in Portland to get it; like I said the jokes work for almost any place I've lived. But the name implies a lot. If I lived in Boston and there was some comedy show called Bostonians that focused primarily on sports fans and drunk people, I'd have something to say about that too.
Also wearing a Dead Kennedys or Subhumans hoodie doesn't make you punk. Last time I saw Jello it was kind of a random encounter; he was doing a talk at a local theatre and just walking down the street, in the same kind of clothes the "yuppies" are wearing here. Still Jello. Interesting fact: I always thought "yuppie" was a late-80s/early-90s term so I was curious as to why Biafra waking up in 1986 would start spouting the word, but I was wrong. Its etymological origins go back to the late 60s!
Punk goes back way further than that. For different reasons, but you probably get my point. I'll stop trolling this thread now :)
I've got a whole angle worked out; "Will prove the unreality of time for food" c'mon, you'd give me for that.
You're just jealous of the freedom I will have riding the rails with my liberal arts degree.
I do get eczema behind my ears pretty bad though. Do you think it would be unpunk to take ointments and creams with me? I also need to ask orcs if they have vegan dumpsters because I've really been trying to make a go of that.
Orcs is probably tied up in some lucky fellas rape dungeon by now.
"i spent from about 2004-2007 in the DFW, i probably knew about 40 kids exactly like this, it was kind of ridiculous how many times i had to avoid gang rape so i went to austin"
- Lotsmoreorcs circa 2012 -
Ok, now I'm sad. She may have been an entitled poverty tourist, but she was one of us. Also, she was kind of hot.
*pours out 40 onto pavement*
'zat Kim Gordon at 0:40?
This might make me sound bad but I always thought Jello Biafra was gay from the sound of his speaking voice.
Yeah! Totes Kim! I'm actually wondering if this part was filmed in Portland. It's backwards but none of this looks familiar to me and I've lived here most of my life (like I said in my rant above I mostly watch the show to see landmarks.. the last time Portland was really on the national radar was the whole Monica-gate thing, and before that Tonya Harding, so it's fun.) Unless this means Kim lives in Portland now, in which case we all knew you could do better than Thurston. That guy was a dick and you had the best Sonic Youth Songs anyway. Plus I always thought Thurston was gay. Wanna go out?
She just needed to get Thurston off her back. I saw SY in 2006 and to be honest she looked pretty haggard.
Gordon looked heroin haggard in 1991.
Haven't paid much attention to Biafra after the first couple spoken work albums. He's let himself go, too.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
I just have to give credit to these two actors for constantly playing new characters in different outfits in a small timeframe more than almost any show since Kids in the Hall.
Stars from twelve year old me, who had a huge crush on Jello.
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