I'd rather expose myself to Burt's Beez than Ernie's, but yeah good job America at keeping the Pinkos out.

Is cocaine somehow broken that they have to resort to beeswax and peppermint?

DOES IT WORK WITH ANY LIP BALM, OR JUST BURT'S BEES � ALL-NATURAL LIP BALM WAX? I would like to try this, but I do not wish to purchase the wrong brand!

I can tell you now that Dr Pepper Lip Smackers does not work outside the lips... for anything.

that comment leaves much to the imagination.

Sometimes my skin gets really dry and my foreskin splits and cracks around the opening. I use lipbalm on it cause it's not fun getting caustic urine on broken skin.

Plus all the people that give me a million blowjobs a day say they like the flavour.

The clitoris tastes better when there's 23 other flavors

Back when I was young and stupid and in college the version of this I learned was "put tiger Balm on your forehead when you drop acid."

infinite, you can tell a difference between the tuna and the salmon?! Color me impressed.

So, Old Zircon, I'm curious, how did that Tiger Balm feel once the acid started to rise?

Hard to say because it was the first time I tried acid, and I also had a head cold so I was eating Ludens the whole time. Between the two, though, there was a long stretch (hard to gauge time, could've been 10 minutes could have been 2 hours) where my whole body drained out through my feet and all that was left was my eyeballs and teeth. But in a good way.

I think that was mostly the Ludens though. And the LSD.

This reminds me I need to smoke that little bit of Salvia I got left in an envelope.

One time I put too much sunscreen on my forehead and the sweat made it run down into my eyes so I know this is serious stuff.

The first time I visited an ocean I thought saltwater was the most caustic shit on Earth, like Alien Nation bad. The first time I tried it without sunscreen on my face was wonderful and soothed my eyes. I was outraged that my eyes got burned up by chemical water pollution and didn't make me high like dumb kids think being high is. All I got were pink eyes.

Thanks to having worked at a hippie bookstore, I've had the opportunity to try a good number of Burt's Bees products before, including the lip balm. The products smell funny and they burn any part of your body you might put them on, including your genitals (which I assumed was going to be what these teens were doing).

next up, the dangers of eating those fruit-scented pens. "It actually like living inside of a grape," said a kindergartner

Evilhomer, you might want to see an allergy specialist.

Though on a related note about 10 years ago a girl I was seeing tried tom's Of Maine deodorant and it made the skin in her armpits peel off like they were sunburned.

It got me high for sure, but Tom's of Maine made my armpits fall off completely. I still have my arms, just no pits.

In retrospect maybe I should have checked with an allergy specialist, but I was having too much fun slathering their moisturizer on me my face and screaming "NOT THE BEES"

I knew some kids back in college who would make little coco puffs but with peppermint oil instead of cocaine at the end of their cigarettes. They said they were planning a trip to outerspace and never came back down.

When I was in 5th grade they used to sell pure cinnamon oil in little vials at a local health food store, for making your own cinnamon toothpicks. It took about 5 minutes before one of us got it in his eye and fell over screaming like he'd been pepper sprayed.

Ha, I remember that cinnamon toothpick thing, they were either banned or kept out of class when the trend got really big, I didn't know what the danger was though. The fad was over so fast too.

Boomer

I don't know if the health food store ones were different/stronger than the normal ones (I assume the normal ones were artificial, they tasted different anyhow).

I sometimes use peppermint oils and some other oils just behind my ear on on my temples when I have a headache. It's very refreshing. I have never once felt drunk or high because of it.

A boat captain once put peppermint oil behind my ears to cure my seasickness. I have no idea why that works.

One time I put peppermint oil up my but and spoke to God, maaan.

You spoke to God through a conjunction? Amazing! I never realized peppermint oil had that much power.

GARBAGE DAZE?

..? NO!

OH SHIT DID SOMEONE SAY GARBAGE DAYEZ? OR IS THAT SOME LAME BITCH STILL TALKING ABOUT GARBAGE DAZE WITHOUT THE 'E'? MY BRO SAID THAT SHIT DOESN'T GET YOU HIGH EVEN IF YOU SHOOT THE GUY FIRST BUT GARBAGE DAYEZ GET YOU FUCKED UP FOR DAYEZ YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW BRO!!

MUAH HA HA HA

christ, stop

Does it come with herpes?

NIGNOG TRYING TO GET A HAND BEEZIN

Beezin is no joke, shit will mess you up.

You should try it. I am so high right now, it's like being born!

Wait... "these kids" aren't stupid because they don't exist? The non-existent kids are brilliant?

I'm not allowed on school grounds anymore; if not from the news, how else am I supposed to learn what judgement-impairing substances kids are into these days?

ah

Most of the stories I've seen about it cite Youtube comments.

If this gets kids to be more aware of their lip health, it sounds okay to me.

Yes, I'm joking.

What do these reporters put on their resumes when they want to get to the big networks? "Really good at mining Facebook and Twitter feeds for douchebag comments that go viral. For example, was first in a major metropolitan area to expose the meaning of 'YOLO' and report it as lead story."