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Category:News & Politics, Crime
Tags:Pink Eye, local news, beezin
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:04/30/14
Views:1873
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Comment count is 55
ashtar.
America is winning the war on beez.
infinite zest
I'd rather expose myself to Burt's Beez than Ernie's, but yeah good job America at keeping the Pinkos out.

Oscar Wildcat
Is cocaine somehow broken that they have to resort to beeswax and peppermint?

memedumpster
High school and college aged kids are universally stupid as fuck, perfect for the worthless product advertisement cannon that is the news.
EvilHomer
DOES IT WORK WITH ANY LIP BALM, OR JUST BURT'S BEES ALL-NATURAL LIP BALM WAX? I would like to try this, but I do not wish to purchase the wrong brand!

memedumpster
I can tell you now that Dr Pepper Lip Smackers does not work outside the lips... for anything.

infinite zest
that comment leaves much to the imagination.

oddeye
Sometimes my skin gets really dry and my foreskin splits and cracks around the opening. I use lipbalm on it cause it's not fun getting caustic urine on broken skin.

Plus all the people that give me a million blowjobs a day say they like the flavour.

infinite zest
The clitoris tastes better when there's 23 other flavors

Old_Zircon
Back when I was young and stupid and in college the version of this I learned was "put tiger Balm on your forehead when you drop acid."

il fiore bel
infinite, you can tell a difference between the tuna and the salmon?! Color me impressed.

Adham Nu'man
So, Old Zircon, I'm curious, how did that Tiger Balm feel once the acid started to rise?

Old_Zircon
Hard to say because it was the first time I tried acid, and I also had a head cold so I was eating Ludens the whole time. Between the two, though, there was a long stretch (hard to gauge time, could've been 10 minutes could have been 2 hours) where my whole body drained out through my feet and all that was left was my eyeballs and teeth. But in a good way.

Old_Zircon
I think that was mostly the Ludens though. And the LSD.

Adham Nu'man
This reminds me I need to smoke that little bit of Salvia I got left in an envelope.

exy
IT CAUSES SYMPTOMS SIMILAR TO AN INFECTION

oh the humanity
Old_Zircon
One time I put too much sunscreen on my forehead and the sweat made it run down into my eyes so I know this is serious stuff.

memedumpster
The first time I visited an ocean I thought saltwater was the most caustic shit on Earth, like Alien Nation bad. The first time I tried it without sunscreen on my face was wonderful and soothed my eyes. I was outraged that my eyes got burned up by chemical water pollution and didn't make me high like dumb kids think being high is. All I got were pink eyes.

EvilHomer
Thanks to having worked at a hippie bookstore, I've had the opportunity to try a good number of Burt's Bees products before, including the lip balm. The products smell funny and they burn any part of your body you might put them on, including your genitals (which I assumed was going to be what these teens were doing).

infinite zest
next up, the dangers of eating those fruit-scented pens. "It actually like living inside of a grape," said a kindergartner

Old_Zircon
Evilhomer, you might want to see an allergy specialist.

Old_Zircon
Though on a related note about 10 years ago a girl I was seeing tried tom's Of Maine deodorant and it made the skin in her armpits peel off like they were sunburned.

infinite zest
It got me high for sure, but Tom's of Maine made my armpits fall off completely. I still have my arms, just no pits.

EvilHomer
In retrospect maybe I should have checked with an allergy specialist, but I was having too much fun slathering their moisturizer on me my face and screaming "NOT THE BEES"

il fiore bel
These kids are stupid.

Everyone knows you should buy pure peppermint oil at the store. That's how you get a REAL beezin' buzz. And horrific eyelid skin burning. And possible loss of vision. but hey! If you're willing to be this stupid, might as well go all the way.
infinite zest
I knew some kids back in college who would make little coco puffs but with peppermint oil instead of cocaine at the end of their cigarettes. They said they were planning a trip to outerspace and never came back down.

Old_Zircon
When I was in 5th grade they used to sell pure cinnamon oil in little vials at a local health food store, for making your own cinnamon toothpicks. It took about 5 minutes before one of us got it in his eye and fell over screaming like he'd been pepper sprayed.

Boomer The Dog
Ha, I remember that cinnamon toothpick thing, they were either banned or kept out of class when the trend got really big, I didn't know what the danger was though. The fad was over so fast too.

Boomer

Old_Zircon
I don't know if the health food store ones were different/stronger than the normal ones (I assume the normal ones were artificial, they tasted different anyhow).

Jet Bin Fever
I sometimes use peppermint oils and some other oils just behind my ear on on my temples when I have a headache. It's very refreshing. I have never once felt drunk or high because of it.

memedumpster
A boat captain once put peppermint oil behind my ears to cure my seasickness. I have no idea why that works.

Old_Zircon
One time I put peppermint oil up my but and spoke to God, maaan.

il fiore bel
You spoke to God through a conjunction? Amazing! I never realized peppermint oil had that much power.

infinite zest
HEY GUYS I MADE A NEW TREND IT'S CALLED GARBAGE DAZE! I GO HARD LIKE GARBAGE DAY GUY AND PUT ACTUAL GARBAGE ON MY EYES! INSTEAD OF SHOOTING THE GUY I JUST TAKE HIS GARBAGE BUT DUDES IT GETS YOU SO MUCH MORE FUCKED UP YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW IT!
oddeye
GARBAGE DAZE?


Killer Joe
OH SHIT DID SOMEONE SAY GARBAGE DAYEZ? OR IS THAT SOME LAME BITCH STILL TALKING ABOUT GARBAGE DAZE WITHOUT THE 'E'? MY BRO SAID THAT SHIT DOESN'T GET YOU HIGH EVEN IF YOU SHOOT THE GUY FIRST BUT GARBAGE DAYEZ GET YOU FUCKED UP FOR DAYEZ YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW BRO!!

infinite zest
MUAH HA HA HA

Gmork
christ, stop

il fiore bel
Does it come with herpes?

Adham Nu'man
NIGNOG TRYING TO GET A HAND BEEZIN

CuteLucca
I... is this really worth a scare story? Do they really want me to be frightened of lip balm?
Blue
If any of you are actually calling these kids stupid earnestly you may have something legitimately wrong with your brain. The only appropriate response to hearing the words "new teen trend" on the news is to roll your eyes and immediately assume that the next words out of their mouths are complete bullshit.

You should have your children taken away because there's a new trend where stupid parents are ripping their own children open based on a rumor going around that children are full of candy.
Old_Zircon
Beezin is no joke, shit will mess you up.

memedumpster
You should try it. I am so high right now, it's like being born!

Hooker
Wait... "these kids" aren't stupid because they don't exist? The non-existent kids are brilliant?

EvilHomer
I'm not allowed on school grounds anymore; if not from the news, how else am I supposed to learn what judgement-impairing substances kids are into these days?

urbanelf
Let's ask WOKKA FLOKKA FLAME
Rosebeekee
Well, time for stores to put the lip balm behind a locked cabinet so kids can't buy it.
bopeton
The risks of believing every troll "trend" on the Internet!

Let's ask this guy we found in a lab coat.

chumbucket
New local news source "a quick look at facebook and twitter feeds..."
Old_Zircon
Most of the stories I've seen about it cite Youtube comments.

Jet Bin Fever
If this gets kids to be more aware of their lip health, it sounds okay to me.

Yes, I'm joking.

chumbucket
What do these reporters put on their resumes when they want to get to the big networks? "Really good at mining Facebook and Twitter feeds for douchebag comments that go viral. For example, was first in a major metropolitan area to expose the meaning of 'YOLO' and report it as lead story."

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