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Desc:Enter the Hipster Priest. His channel is amazing.
Category:Humor, Religious
Tags:puppetry, Father Matthew, Hipster Priest
Submitted:cognitivedissonance
Date:05/08/14
Views:1006
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Comment count is 26
Oscar Wildcat
And what could be hipper than throwing two thousand year old gang signs?
Cena_mark
As a young Catholic the young priests always seemed way cool. In our Church there was only one young priest among a group of priests in their 70s. Of course now grown up nothing seems more wack than becoming a priest.
EvilHomer
I don't know, I've always thought it might be nice to become a priest. The whole not-believing-in-God thing is a bit of a barrier, but I could still see the appeal, especially if your priesthood came with a dinosaur.

Did any of your priests have dinosaurs?

Cena_mark
No, but the youth group did watch The Lost World Jurassic Park once at a lock in.

gravelstudios
I'm pretty sure most of the people at the churches I went to as a kid didn't believe in dinosaurs--they thought God (or possibly the devil) put dinosaur bones in the ground as a test of faith.

I have to admit Regina made me laugh. (Regina=feminine form of Rex...very clever).

EvilHomer
Ooooooh. You're right! I was thinking Regina like "queen", and I was wondering if maybe she was supposed to be queen of the dinosaurs? I wasn't sure why that was funny, but Regina-Rex makes a lot of sense.

EvilHomer
Why didn't Regina just place the cup in the drainage basin before pulling the lever?
Rodents of Unusual Size
Because she's Catholic and her brain is the size of a pea.

cognitivedissonance
Episcopalian doth not mean Catholic. Note Hipster Priest's wedding ring. Regina is his wife, who has a puppet ministry.

Rodents of Unusual Size
Dude, way to ruin my joke.

memedumpster
A young person becoming Christian clergy now looks the same as people on a paleolithic diet, or neo-luddites, or the handful still left on earth who sincerely worship Zeus, or Inanna. If it isn't an act, it's uncomfortable to consREGINA JUST GET THE WATER FROM THE TOILET!
Cena_mark
Ugh. Paleo-dieters. They honestly have to talk about it during every single meal they have, and then there's the deluge of diet woo they post on Facebook.

Rodents of Unusual Size
But they do have some good advice like giving up wheat. It's hard but for the sake of losing weight I have forsaken wheat for a whole month now. I've lost ten pounds.

Getting back on topic, ever since I lost my faith, Christianity has seemed no different from any other religion. Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Zeus, and Ishtar were all equally real (no I do not believe Jesus was a real person, and Buddha is highly unlikely). Mohammad was real, just a real asshole. Same with Joseph Smith and L. Ron Hubbard. If someone comes up with a religion, most likely that person just wants to tell other people what to do.

The only question about the good father you should ask is would you? I WOULD.

memedumpster
I'm on a paleolithic diet every time my cat gets hungry.

Nope, he's way too vanilla. He's Father Shucky-Darnes-Gosh-Gee-Whiz.

James Woods
I'd be a priest if my dick fell off. Just pretend to believe in god and you're set. Free room and board, food, mandatory friends. Good deal.
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
"Mandatory Friends" is gonna be the name of my next, which is to say first, band.

oddeye
I'd rather not be associated with years of institutional child abuse.

EvilHomer
If you'd like, "Mandatory Friends" could go on tour with my next band, "Tyrannosaurus Regina".

infinite zest
This kind of reminds me of the church I work at. When people ask me if I'm a religious man it becomes a long story: Short answer is "yes and no." We're doing something this sunday where all the adults go to sunday school and all the kids stay upstairs. Stuff just to mix it around. Also in the office is a drawing of the Incredible Hulk on the cross. Most of the priests are younger than me, and the sermons often involve something from the bible that (hopefully) people find kind of silly, like the fact that the top 3 movies in the country involved Noah and Captain America.

I rarely catch Bill Mahr but he made almost the same point: false prophets and people who can fly around are usually tops at the US Box office. But the way he did it was just mean, and I took offense even though I don't identify myself as a Christian. A lot of young priests I've talked to, we usually turn out talking about Bill Hicks, and how he was pretty much right: while a lot of Hicks condemns Christianity, it raises talking points instead of saying "fuck you because you believe in a God."
infinite zest
I guess a counterpoint is that Hicks said if you're in advertising kill yourself, very unironically.

infinite zest
For me at least, the Episcopalian faith is almost like a Bible book club. I also work at a Quaker church that allows the service to be interrupted by anyone who disagrees or has a question at any time. Any kid whose grandparents have died have probably wondered "how come Jesus Christ disappeared but my grandfather's still in the ground and we visit him every month?" Or "how come I'm going through stuff like Job or Isaac? God really just wanted to test me?" You can see the entire Universe as viewing us as our playthings and understand the same method of thought via the Bible. Most of it's probably not true, but the lessons we learn, especially the ones associated with Jesus are good ones. Just don't start a war about it.

cognitivedissonance
I think the Episcopalians saved my life, seriously.

Two months, I attempted suicide. It was over a lot of things (shitty job, long distance relationship, lack of fulfilling artistic endeavor, everything just felt like the black spiral of early demise). I spent two weeks in the psych ward, sorting shit out, and the Episcopalians were the only ones who came to talk to me, after I begged for a chaplain. This was in Overlake Hospital in Seattle, the poshest hospital in town, spitting distance from the Microsoft campus.

Basically, at that point, I just exploded into this agony that my faith had been stolen from me by the Pat Robertsons and Bush Administrations and Sarah Palins and Veggietaleses of the world, and that atheism was being thrust upon me in a way I rejected to. So this quiet Episcopalian guy, not a priest, just a dude, cups my hands and just tells me Christianity is however I define it, and to just let the peripherals go. And, by God, something unclicked then and there. It was like 33 years of my life had pretty much just collapsed.

So, I've been at an Episcopalian service Wednesday and Sunday ever since I got out. If they had them every day, I'd be there every day. I'm aware the religion has done some incredibly evil things over the space of 2000 years in the name of an incredibly amazing founder. And that's why I've kinda skipped out on Poetv for the last few months.

oddeye
Last time I referred to militant atheists I was lambasted and told that they don't exist but they most certainly do and they most certainly push their anti-religious agenda on everyone else. Stuff like that makes me not define my current understanding that "there is nothing" with a label but lifelong atheist would be the closest and easiest definition.

Your situation sounds similar, like you have your own set of beliefs and that one church fits your closest definition of them, nothing wrong with that whatsoever and as far as I can tell you aren't ramming "God hates fags" into science text books.

You'll probably get some sort of "You kill babies, Pope Innocent III" ridiculous shit for stating your love of Jesus here, but fuck 'em. (now that we've said it no one will make fun)

infinite zest
I think I've mentioned it on here before, but I began singing in a Gregorian boys choir in Portland when I was about 10 years old, mostly because they were the only church in the united states that did their service completely in Latin. The church is still around, but the music director managed to get himself canned after some disagreements. Lots of them. To be honest I can't remember how my parents found out about it and had me audition.. arts funding in public schools was getting cut left and right so we did outside activities. We were given opportunities to sing all over the world, and were the first North American choir to be allowed to sing in Vatican City. For me it was weird. I had no idea what I was saying, but the music was beautiful. Even the Homily was in Latin, complete with a priest who was narcoleptic. He would often pause anyway, but basically my earliest memories of church were waiting up in the balustrade on really hot nights waiting to go home, wishing I had a Nintendo like everyone else.

As I got older I started sourcing my voice out to other churches, and it was the first time I had a conflict of interest, say at four square churches or soloing at the Singing Christmas Tree (seriously, Jesus and Santa Claus high five.) But each of the gigs would pay me anywhere between 50 and 200 dollars, which is a fuckton for the 13-year-old me (actually it's a fuckton for the 32-year-old me.) I spent one of my first singing money on Slayer Hell Awaits on cassette and got deep into Gwar as well as Scandinavian metal. Oh and I bought that Nintendo. Of course Super Nintendo was already out.

At the time I didn't really have much faith, but I also didn't have much to complain about. Losing my faith wasn't about rebellion, it was just because I was reading Nietzsche (who, by the way, I just had to right-click to spellcheck) and the rest of the philosophers. The 14 or 15 yearold me was reading stuff about how God is Dead and Hell Awaits as sort of a teenage rebellion. But then one day I thought about it. Slayer believes in a heaven if there's a hell. "God is Dead" just means that we've ontologically evolved to question these things, and if necessary, disprove them. Nobody should believe that there was a nearly-1000 year-old man living in Biblical times when Al Roker congratulates Betty from Oklahoma City who just turned 103 Brought to you my Smuckers Jam and convinces her she'll live for another 700. I haven't watched Mr. Mortez's other videos, but I'm assuming the Dinosaur is used as just that: Regina cannot get water or make the sign of the cross because of her hands, but their marriage represents accceptance and tolerance. I'd like it in 1,000 years if people found this and thought it was a real dinosaur.

Point is, having faith in SOMETHING is important. There's the classic "Jesus was a good guy" thing and "most religions support the basic tenants of 'Do the right thing but oh look at all the war and suffering caused by 'my god's better than your god'" but so does believing strictly in the universe without any god. If that's the case then we're all equal and why fight, right? We'll find reasons to fight.. I'd like to show this video to that 700 Club guy. Them's fighting words.. anyway be athiest and be athiest. Be religious and have faith that we're more than food for the sandworms

memedumpster
"Last time I referred to militant atheists I was lambasted and told that they don't exist but they most certainly do and they most certainly push their anti-religious agenda on everyone else."

I hope that wasn't on here, because where was I to point to? I am, I have, and I do. Though I am getting out of the habit after losing most hope in the age of reason. Not a critique of your religious discussion, I'm glad you're both alive for whatever reason, just that part threw me.

Jet Bin Fever
Yeah! This'll put the asses in the pews!
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