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Desc:Memento Mori, Motherfuckers
Category:Short Films, Humor
Tags:mortality, steam, somegreybloke, Dead Island, tick tock
Submitted:Billy the Poet
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Comment count is 29
Quad9Damage - 2014-05-17
When I was in high school I knew a guy who bragged, literally BRAGGED and held it over my head, that he made the clock freeze in Final Fantasy VII by playing it for over 99 hours and that most of that time went toward breeding Chocobos to get Ultima weapon or whatever. Back then I viewed those accomplishment as feats of the gods. Now I look back and realize how much time I pissed away grinding out levels in JRPGS, how many hours I played to get all of Rydia's summons in Final Fantasy IV, how I could have instead been playing in the woods and running and developing my social skills.

My Steam timers continue to be carved monoliths to my own sadness.

Graham is spot-on as usual.
memedumpster - 2014-05-17
My FFVII clock topped out somewhere between 24 and 25 hours. I ploughed through it and moved on.

Meerkat - 2014-05-17
And yet, in the end, both of you will die.

Nominal - 2014-05-17
Youtube cured me of any desire to grind out RPGs to beat them or see hidden bonus content. Now I can just watch a video of the super secret ultimate boss in Disgea without spending 200 hours beating the same over and over with the same sword attack animation over and over.

Quad9Damage - 2014-05-23
I ragequit at the final boss in Lunar: Silver Star story and finally got to see the ending years later on YouTube. Fitting, I guess, since the amount of hours I put into Lunar probably add up to at least a year.

Caminante Nocturno - 2014-05-17
I don't appreciate the way you spend your free time. Here, let me explain that to you in the most passive-aggressive way possible.
Wander - 2014-05-17
Nobody appreciates how your spend your time, caminante, especially the law.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-05-17
hit too close to home for you Cam?

Pillager - 2014-05-17
Valar morghulis...

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-05-17
Leisure activity has no value whatsoever derp.

Stars are subtracted not for the false premise, but for his shitty taste in games.
Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2014-05-17
I agree.
Though abnegating my life is something I try you avoid, one must do it a from time to time. Probably one of my worst "sins" in this regard I commit is checking poetv every day :)

Additionally I would argue that playing games *is real life* . I appreciate the artform of computer games and would consider myself a connoisseur. I have had really great memorable experiences playing games.

Mr. Purple Cat Esq. - 2014-05-17
Just ignore fucked up grammar of that comment ;)

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-05-17
Really, though, that "hours played" feature needs to be optional or something you can delete. It ruins the experience, I think, not to mention if you have any friends on Steam, they can see how many hundreds of hours you've played. Even if YOU think that's time well spent, others might not (like spouses, people you said you were too busy to go out with, etc.).

It's unnecessary information that adds nothing to the experience.

Hooker - 2014-05-24
"Stars deducted for this fictional character's taste in games."

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-05-24
What's adorable isn't that you think that because there's a cartoon character on screen, it isn't still the words and opinions of the guy who made it. What's adorable is that you spent two and a half minutes watching the opinions of someone that you believe doesn't exist.

Hooker - 2014-05-25
The point of the video was not Dead Island. The author of the video seems to hate Dead Island. The answer might be that you're a moron.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-05-25
Holy shit, you are a dim bulb. I guess I need to spell it out for you. I addressed what I thought of the video in the first sentence. The second line was a throwaway, and here is where you really start to go down the rabbit hole: I actually deducted stars because I didn't like the video or its premise, not because of the game. Please leave me alone.

Gmork - 2014-05-17
5 stars for HOW FUCKING SHITTY AND AWFUL dead island was. Any amount of time spent playing that nuance-less game is a fucking waste.
Nikon - 2014-05-17
I guess his premise depends on whether or not you consider having fun to be worthwhile in and of itself.
SolRo - 2014-05-17
or if you have any interests at all outside of games.

"shit, I could have fixed up an old car in the time I spent playing WoW"

Nominal - 2014-05-17
Imagine all the suicides if model train sets came with the same logged hours feature.
memedumpster - 2014-05-17
Imagine if poeTV did.

Gmork - 2014-05-17
do not take that idea any further

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-05-17
It already does. What, you don't know?

Check this shit.


Gmork has written more words than Tolstoy. 5 bullets, comrade!

memedumpster - 2014-05-17
Yes, and I have written seven times as much.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-05-17
There are train simulators on Steam as well.

They look hilariously sad. Here's one Let's Play that went off about as well as I'd expect:


For added fun, go look at the metric FUCKTON of DLC they put out for these games. If you think expansion packs for your favorite flavor of polygons is evil, this will make you think you've gotten off easy (and cheap).

Gmork - 2014-05-17
Suddenly I am ashamed.
Meerkat - 2014-05-18
Go watch some TV, that will help.

American Standard - 2014-05-18
If you weren't playing video games, you would just be doing something else recreational that didn't have a stopwatch built in to keep track of how much you enjoyed yourself.

And why would you play a game you didn't like? maybe try playing games that are actually fun, dummy.
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