I felt the same way when the Undertaker turned into a Kid Rock-loving biker. Stay strong, little buddy.
What's worse is he'd been on hiatus for ages. I didn't watch wrestling all that much back during the Hogan Era, but whenever I did catch it, the Undertaker was by far my favorite wrestler. Then the Attitude Era came, and I found myself watching it more and more; the Undertaker just kept getting better and better, and the cooler he was, the more I got sucked into wrestling. But then he got injured and was out for like a year, right at the height of my wrestling-watching career. I held out, though. I carried the torch. My other smark buddies were all, ooo The Rock The Rock, why don't you like The Rock, but fuck that, The Rock was a bitch, The Taker would return, in fire and thunder to reclaim His dark throne.
I was also a notorious numetal-hater/ pro-black metal hipster, always arguing with said smark friends about how Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock sucked ass. So that was like a double groin-shot; first turning him into a lameass biker instead of the awesome lightning-bolt flinging zombie vampire he REALLY was, and then making him a numetal mook to appeal to all the other thirteen year-old dumbshits who weren't hardcore like me. Acchhh. I'm soooooo glad I was a Jerichoholic; Y2J and Fozzy really helped me through that dark, dark time.
STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT.
Dude he came back one of his fucking finishing moves (which I guess he has like 8 of at this point) was a clothesline. BUT IT WAS A CLOTHESLINE OFF OF A ROPE -- AN UNSTABLE SURFACE. That made it MUCH MORE DEADLY.
Hey, do you see me complaining about Old School? No. Old School was pretty darn deadly.
But Old School was a signature move, not a finishing move. His stupid biker finishing move was The Last Ride, which was better than some finishing moves, I guess, but should have been a goddamn signature move instead.
What was Vince thinking?!
The Kid is right, Seth Rollins is stupid for doing this. I'll bet at some point Reigns and Ambrose will come to John Cena and have him help kick Evolution's ass. Of course they'll no longer be The Shield at that point, but the CeNation!
I stand corrected: not a finishing move. But didn't that fake-ass omoplata become a finishing move at some point, too? Hell's Gate or something?
Taker let the streak end because he knew it was time to pass the torch. You can't be the Number One force in sports entertainment for nearly twenty-five years and expect your streak to go on forever.
And ooooh, I'm sorry Taker was using an MMA move, heaven forbid a legendary wrestler learns a cool new attack. MMA moves are awesome; don't hate him because he can do MMA and Cena can't.
You know, that's probably why the Undertaker let himself lose to Brock Lesnar. Because he sees a kindred MMA spirit in Brock. Brock and The Undertaker, they know what it takes to be in the Octagon; something a guy like Cena will never understand.
Looked it up. Hell's Gate isn't a triangle; it's a gogoplata. Which is hilarious because it's rarely successful in MMA. I think I've seen 1 or 2 finishes with it. Also, doesn't performing the move require you to essentially pin yourself? It's fucking stupid.
Anyone remember the really awkward, worked confrontation between Undertaker and Brock after the latter's loss to Cain Valasquez?
It's a high risk maneuver. In any other wrestler's arsenal it would be insane, but The Undertaker is such a dominating force that he can pin himself and still lay his opponent to rest.
The move is absolutely lethal. It causes it's victims to spit blood.
We all went through the same thing at one point in life. Be strong!
I may be exaggerating a tad, but this was 6-year-old me had a similar reaction when Shawn Michaels threw Marty Jannetty through the barber shop window.
Wrestling is really the best when you're too old for cartoons but too young for hour long scripted dramas.
|Jet Bin Fever |
Enjoy caring about this as much as you do while you can, kid.
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