Tried to bonk a fat chick at a party.

Where in this video is a fat girl? Nowhere.

Do not worry this rail is strong metal

OH NO YOU ARE SECRET FATTY

You have doomed us all

RAIL FATTY DOES NOT CUSHION THE FALL!

OH NO!!! NOW WE ARE DEAD!

who did drop this ham from the building?

it is a mystery

Whatever just happened was the best thing.

fatchicksinpartyhats.com is down right now. Mood: sad

That's okay. A little piece of Miguel will live on in all of our hearts.

Silly ham, a MUMU is not a PARACHUTE!!!

holy jump-sex me in the homo-butt, it IS down. this is a sad day.

WHO IS THE MYSTERY SERVER EATER?

YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH

Looks like this one night stand.. just turned into a one night fall

YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH

YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH?

You could say.... that they fell for each other.

After the party... It's the afterlife party.

Looks like this romance...

... Is off the rails.

It looks like this fat bitch just fell to her death.... while a black guy watched

But is heaviness truly deplorable and lightness splendid? The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in the love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man�s body. The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously the image of life�s most intense fulfillment: the heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of a burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?

-Milan Kundera

YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH

Doubt he could cum on their corpses from that distance. Maybe worth a try but I'd probably save it till you get down there, if I were so inclined.

You racist, you only said "darkened" cause he's black, fucking racist.

MUH AFRICAN AMERICAN DIDNT KNEW HOW TO REACT

#OUTED, #WHITEPEOPLEGLOWINTHEDARK

Putting a lot of work in on your what-is-and-what-isn't sex boundaries?

Sex is like a party: it's not real until someone calls the cops.

Woah there, is this making out or sex? Let me get my protractor.

shut up Hooker

if you're fucking, then you're probably fucking
if you're fucking, then you're probably fucking
if you're fucking, then you're probably fucking
if you're fucking then you're probably having some sex

if you're not fucking, then you're probably not fucking
if you're not fucking, then you definitely ain't fucking
if you're not fucking, you most likely ain't fucking
if you're not fucking maybe you ain't having no sex

Jesus, do I really need to explain this?

It's not about the boundaries of sex or even the boundaries of language. It's about somebody nakedly spinning a senseless tragedy to appear as salacious as possible to generate the maximum ad revenue.

Making out certainly qualifies as "sex". To say that it qualifies as "having sex"is a misnomer, in my opinion, but only according to common usage. If one is literally true, it follows that the other is literally true. But when I read that they were "having sex" when they fell off the balcony, I thought it meant that they were fucking. Wasn't I supposed to think that? Does anybody doubt that the headline was deliberately misleading?

And the animation was pointless and gratuitous.

Am I fucking?

"nakedly spinning a senseless tragedy" gets all my stars.

all the evidence points to not fucking

>>"nakedly spinning a senseless tragedy" gets all my stars.

I'm grateful, of course, but I'm frankly puzzled that you didn't mention my use of "salacious".

:(

So you feel that this exploitative, not because it's making light of the senseless and tragic death of two people, but because it doesn't deliver the hardcore teen fucking you wanted to see?

>>So you feel that this exploitative, not because it's making light of the senseless and tragic death of two people, but because it doesn't deliver the hardcore teen fucking you wanted to see?

That's an interesting question. The problem with it is that it seems to imply that the story could "deliver" fucking where there was no fucking. Whoever created and posted the video can only work with what actually happened. The problem was that the lead in wasn't true to the integrity of the story.

It's true that if the story had been about people actually falling off a balcony while fucking I wouldn't have taken umbrage, because there would have been no contrived sensationalism. My dad was a newspaper reporter who covered the courts locally for many years, and he taught me respect for journalistic intengrity (He's 78, and you don't want to get him started about Nancy Grace!) It's also true that if they fell off the balcony while fucking, it would have been something that I would have been curious about. Why should I deny that?

At this point, I'm merely trying to explain the outrage I felt hours ago. And I have to admit that I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what I felt was misleading, so I'm going to let it go now.

I liked the concise Shakespearean vibe of the shorter version.

Maybe this was spun, but for the best of intentions. They go to report the story and are faced with the truth "teens too dumb to properly use balcony, die." Being tired of their own cynicism, they decide to spin a yarn about romance, passion, and tragedy, so whether or not they actually fucked is a trifle compared to the tone they were trying to present, namely, they had a reason to fall that wasn't just pathetic.

So they're slut-shaming?

John Holmes, your dad must be rolling around in his grave because of this outrage towards journalistic integrity.

Not just yet.

WHOA WHOA WHOA EVERYBODY NEEDS TO COOOOL OUT!

( 8=======D )

Has anyone commented on how presumptuous it is that this was only a one night stand?

That's a valid point. The lesson here is don't die violently and spectacularly while making out with a stranger and expect your death to be treated with respect and dignity by the internet. I suppose there needs no ghost from the grave to tell us this.

I like your thinking.

From a distance in low lighting, a guy trying to shove a moderately drunk woman over a rail might look like they were making out.

A Game of Shadows RP gone wrong?

Both this and the Cougar Hunter video right above it could make the "black guy reaction shot" a linked tag.

"Do you want to fuck me?"

"Bingo"