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Desc:stomp scuff scuff stomp stomp scuff stomp stomp SCREAM stomp
Category:Arts, Humor
Tags:David Bowie, Mick Jagger, burp, musicless, Mario Wienerroither
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Comment count is 39
EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
There are few things worse than David Bowie and Mick Jagger, but at least without the music it is somewhat watchable.
garcet71283 - 2014-06-19
I demand you take that back about Bowie....but i will admit this wasnot his proudest moment

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-19
how fucking dare you.

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
Actually, if anything, this was one of Bowie's finest moments.

That's how crap he was.

Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-19
seriously, fuck you. I like your art, but you have terrible taste. Bowie rules. Fuck you.

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
I'm open to being proven wrong, but I've never heard anything by Bowie that's any good. Bowie is certainly an interesting character, and a good entertainer I guess... but his music is the dad-rock equivalent of Disturbed.

I will say that Bowie is not THE WORST 70s musician. I can think of at least a dozen such musicians that are far more crap than he ever was - Springsteen, for example, or Bob Dylan. Possibly even Jagger (although the Rolling Stones did have one or two good songs, in contrast to Bowie's none). In fact, I'm willing to bet that, were I alive during Bowie's heyday, and my choices of music were limited to whatever was playing on the radio, I'd probably have been a Bowie fan, for want of anything better to listen to. But I wasn't, and I'm not.

Azmo23 - 2014-06-19
1. space oddity 2. under pressure 3. heroes 4. heart's filthy lesson
unlike Disturbed, there is an evolution of sound over a career spanning decades.
the songs above are a sampling of what I mean by that and are all excellent.
i'm not even a bowie fan really, i don't own any of his albums, but it's just wrong to compare him to some nu-metal trash.

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
Of all the song's I've heard before, Space Oddity was probably the closest he came to making an actual good song, and it was one of his *first* songs, which means that he actually got worse as time went on; his sound "devolved", would be a more apt way of putting it. Under Pressure doesn't really count, because that song was mostly on Queen (one of their worst, IMO), and at any rate Vanilla Ice did it better. I do not like Heroes.

As for Heart's Filthy Lessons, it's alright, but there's something a little unwholesome about a.. what, how old was he when that song got released? Sixty year-old musician biting off NIN's sound. If David Bowie decided to release a djentstep album tomorrow, yeah, alright, it might SOUND OK... but we'd have to ask the question, is it really "Bowie"? Or is it just an old salaryman trying desperately to keep his product relevant to young people?

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
Perhaps I should have compared him to Metallica instead of Disturbed...?

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-06-19
Hating on Jagger is a venal sin; Bowie a mortal one. Repent, sinner! Lest you be trapped for all eternity with a bunch of guys in plaid shirts and jeans playing twelve bar blues.

aikimoe - 2014-06-19
You must be an absolutely amazing song writer to have convinced yourself that you know what is and isn't a good song. There's also another possibility...

infinite zest - 2014-06-19
Heh.. first time I heard about this song I was at some bar and The Best of Bowie Disc 2 DVD was playing without volume on the TV. Lots of good stuff, including several videos directed by Julien Temple. Without the sound though.. I was just watching it and this musicless video is pretty much what I heard.

It's not only one of the worst Bowie songs, but I'd argue that it's one of the worst songs ever. As far as Bowie goes, I like him. Until middle school though, I just thought he was an actor, like he was going to be guest starring on Trent Reznor's new record kind of like Rose Macgowan did with Marilyn Manson.

Anyway, I decided to check him out, and since this was before the age of allmusic, pitchfork, etc. I just asked the guy at the record store which one was his favorite, and he sold me a copy of "Low." It wasn't until sometime later that I heard the hits like Ziggy Stardust, Changes, etc. which were just "OK" in comparison, good sing-along or karaoke songs but little more. I lot of Low's greatness is thanks to Brian Eno, but it remains not only my favorite Bowie album, but one of my favorite albums ever. Even if you don't like Bowie you might like Low.

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
Aikimoe - that is a classic form of the Tu Quoque fallacy, or, as I like to call it, the "Shut Up" fallacy. One needn't be proficient in a given area to recognize the deficiencies of another. I doubt any of us are world-renowned fashion designers, yet I am sure we can all see that the clothes being worn in this video are ridiculous; our own conditions have no bearing on the truth of our statements. Or, if you'd prefer, there's also the corollary to the principle of "game recognize game" - "no game recognize no game". It is not necessary to bring this point up, but it is nonetheless quite apropos to the situation.

And anyway, I dare say I probably *could* write a better song than Bowie. It wouldn't be great, it might even be downright awful, but it'd be better than Bowie. That's how bad he is.

IZ - I will give that a listen, but no guarantees.

Azmo23 - 2014-06-19
y'all two got that fingerrhea real bad
i'm sure if evilhomer listed some "good" modern musicians i would be totally contrarian and show off how clued in i am to our zeitgeist, people with taste hate me for this one weird trick

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19

Azmo23 - 2014-06-19
hahaha well at least you have a good sense of humor

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
You know Iron Maiden and Metallica are opening for them at an upcoming festival, right? Babymetal Ichiban!

Azmo23 - 2014-06-19
oh, you were being serious?

EvilHomer - 2014-06-19
Oh ye of little faith.

Syd Midnight - 2014-06-20
One needn't necessarily be proficient in a given area to recognize the deficiencies of another, but if one has shitty taste, one will unwittingly perceive anothers lack of familiar shittiness as a deficiency.

EvilHomer - 2014-06-20
Syd - perhaps, but that is a question of aesthetics, not of aptitude; one can be a great songwriter and have awful taste in music (Lady Gaga), and one can have great taste in music yet still be an awful songwriter (John Petrucci). Aesthetics are, of course, a difficult subject to discuss, as every one of us comes from a different perspective on art, with our own unique set of values, and a litany of personal, oft-times irrational, emotional associations built up over the course of a lifetime. It's a highly subjective topic, and, while certain broad points may be established- "David Bowie predominately writes shallow pop music", for example - that still leaves us with the completely subjective question of, well, do you ENJOY shallow pop music? One can answer yes or no; there is no wrong answer.

In any case, while I appreciate where you're going with that, I would still like to give Bowie fans the benefit of the doubt. There may indeed be Bowie fans who simply have "shitty taste", and that is why they prefer Bowie to, say, BABYMETAL, but I do not believe anyone here fits that bill, and I know for a fact that many regulars here have very good taste!

aikimoe - 2014-06-20
Evil Homer, it's true one needn't be proficient to criticize something, but one ought to have even a small amount of experience in the subject one is talking about. "David Bowie predominately writes shallow pop music," is not an "established point" but rather a minority opinion, especially among people who make a living actually writing songs. It's as trollish as saying that Orson Welles or Martin Scorsese are bad film makers. And here I am, feeding you. That's on me.

That you don't like Bowie's (or Springsteen's or Dylan's) music is objectively true and neutral in value. That he is a bad song writer is a subjective (and in your case, baseless) opinion which isn't held by most people who actually make music for a living. If 99% of the professionals in a given field disagree with you, it only takes a little humility to admit that what you like and what is good are two separate things.

Certainly, you can summon a little humility, can't you?

jangbones - 2014-06-21

EvilHomer - 2014-06-21
>> "If 99% of the professionals in a given field disagree with you"

I'm going to have to ask you to cite sources on this. Where have you gotten that number from? It seems absurdly high, and impossibly accurate, so until you can produce a study to back up this claim, I'm afraid I'll have to treat it with skepticism.

At any rate, the aesthetic opinions of professionals are still just that: aesthetic opinions. Art is not science. "Expert opinion" counts for nothing when the question is one of pure aesthetics; *even if* it was literally true that 99% of all professional songwriters think Bowie is a good songwriter, this would not necessarily tell us anything more than that 99% of all professional songwriters have bad taste (and, given the state of modern popular music, I think this state of affairs is at least within the realm of possibility). If popular opinion were the ultimate metric with which we measure a musician's songwriting skills, then The Eagles would be perhaps the greatest musicians of all time, and Bowie himself would be a vastly inferior songwriter to both Celine Dion and KISS. I don't think any of us would accept these statements, do you?

Now, I do not believe for a minute that 99% of all songwriters have bad taste. I don't even believe that 99% of all David Bowie loving songwriters have bad taste. There are many other factors that can go into their misplaced appreciation for the man: the "Emperor's Clothes" effect, for example, whereby people simply assume Bowie is a good songwriter, because this is what Bowie's public image has been positioned to be. But regardless, the exact number of Bowie supporters, and their motive for being so, is immaterial.

Although again, I would like to stress that I am more than open to hearing people's arguments in favor of Bowie; I can be convinced to change my mind, if the reasons are convincing. I would to be proven wrong. Such is my deep and profound humility!

baleen - 2015-03-26
David Bowie is a god.

Scrimmjob - 2014-06-19
This is the best one of these I've seen, it's no wonder with source material like this.
Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-19
agreed, best one yet!!

takewithfood - 2014-06-19
I didn't think "Firestarter" could be topped, and yet here we are.

The Mothership - 2015-03-16
Yea, this one is crisp.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-19
The "Dancing in the Street" single and video were thrown together in a couple of days for LIVE AID in 1985, at a time when every music video was an overblown plastic turd. At the time, the loose, improvised feel of the video was a revelation. I remember seeing this in theaters and loving it.

LIVE AID was a huge international hunger relief event organized by Bob Geldorf, of the Boomtown Rats, and it elevated him from one hit wonder to Knighthood and the official title Man of Peace. I was surprised that they only did it the one time in 1985, but I guess the hunger problem was finally solved.
Jet Bin Fever - 2014-06-19
It's one of the worst things either of them has done.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-19
Personally, I've always thought the worst thing Bowie ever did was shave his eyebrows.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-19
2014 me isn't really interested in defending it, by the way. I'm just here to provide some historical context.

Scrimmjob - 2014-06-19
Well, I think we can all agree that it didn't age too well.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-19
I'm not going to agree. I'm not going to disagree. I'm not going to go back and watch it again. I'm just going to remember how, 29 years ago, it was a breath of fresh air.

Old People - 2014-06-19
For Bowie's bloodcurdling scream.
spicediver - 2014-06-19
For the burp and Jagger's hideous Dirty Work-era pastal wardrobe.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-19
Bowie and Jagger have been around forever. They have their ups and down, detractors come and go. Even after they're gone, they'll still be part of the geography, not really up for discussion.
Binro the Heretic - 2014-06-20
Best one yet.
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