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Desc:I don't think he likes it.
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:Transformers, Michael Bay, critics, criticism, mark kermode
Submitted:baleen
Date:06/27/14
Views:1325
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Comment count is 34
Oscar Wildcat
Cocaine is a hellava drug. But acting as a special effect? This I like.
Gmork
STOP GOING "What, Eh? What, Eh? What, Eh?"
Meerkat
No that is EXACTLY the correct noise to be making repeatedly.

DavidBowiesLuckyTennisBall
It's not: What, eh?

Translation: PHWOAR, AYE?
Meaning: Crikey chaps, I'd like to draw all of your attentions to this particular tableau.

SolRo
So he links the fall of the Roman Empire to his personal pet peev with 3D.

Not self absorbed at all!
Dinkin Flicka
Read between the lines, bitch.

baleen
Fucking hipsters. Am I right SolRo?

Dinkin Flicka
A hipster that quotes "Chasing Amy" is not a hipster.

Dinkin Flicka
(Plus bad grammar)

Gmork
At least it's his job to do this. Some people do this without getting paid.
Dinkin Flicka
If you need to be paid to say the right thing, you are an idiot.

Gmork
"Saying the right thing"? You mean "saying a commonly held opinion (transformer movies are high budget garbage) in an especially vitriolic, embarrassing way".

Dinkin Flicka
Embarrassment is irrelevant. It takes courage to make a fool of oneself.

infinite zest
So Dark of the Moon was the really shitty one that people who kinda liked the first one said was shit, right? Because I kinda want to go see the one that came out today. It's playing near my house and it's 4 dollars, and there's Dinobots and the guy from Silicon Valley and Marky Mark.. and there's Dinobots,
infinite zest
whoops just checked metacritic. It's already one of the lowest rated new releases, joining the ranks of Adam Sandler's Blended and Tyler Perry's Think Like a Man Too.

So yeah I'm gonna watch the fuck out of it

Rodents of Unusual Size
I would watch it but there's no mute button in theaters.

Dinkin Flicka
Not even worth . Even if it's free, it's your time expended. Read a book.

I'm afraid this is going to reach you too late. And not be quite persuasive enough.

Meerkat
Dinkin Flicka is afraid it's not going to be quite persuasive enough.

infinite zest
I was wrong and they're showing Jodorowsky's Dune for another week. Another movie I won't see because I don't like movies about movies that won't get made (see Lost in La Mancha.) Is it really that bad? Chances are I'm going to have to see it anyway with one of my clients later this week but I'm pretty good at tuning things out if I'm on the clock (X-men for example, despite my low expectations, was really fun despite the sentinels not looking like sentinels at all, and Captain America was pretty fun. But I'm working, so it's not like I'm going to get high or anything beforehand.)

Growing up with an older brother who religiously watched Transformers, I was a bit too young, and the one Transformers toy I got for Christmas was some battery-powered thing whose legs broke immediately, so my toys were half-broken hand-me-downs like a Starscream with no wings or a Cobra Commander with no head. I was only 4 when the Transformers movie came out, so I couldn't go. But the Dinobots were so cool. They didn't choose sides and also they were ROBOTS and DINOSAURS. It's really hard to fuck up such a simple formula. If anyone can do it, it's Michael Bay, but I was impressed by Pain and Gain, liked The Rock and kind of even liked Armageddon and the Bad Boys movies. When I watched the original Transformers Movie (in college) it was mostly because of its ironic use of "The Touch" in Boogie Nights. Now it's come full circle and Dirk Diggler is the protagonist in a Transformer movie.

I'm still going to watch the fuck out of it.

Dinkin Flicka
I also had quite a few Beast Wars toys as a child.

Kabbage
Edge of Tomorrow

PegLegPete
I watched Transformers 2 in the theater. It is the worst movie I have ever seen (relative to budget etc...), all of his criticisms are at least partially valid. It is the ballad for the collapse of western society. One long gauche ballad of indulgence, objectification and insanity.
Dinkin Flicka
Agreed. Civilization rests on a peg leg, Pete. Don't fail us.

PegLegPete
Relax I was just being dramatic.

Dinkin Flicka
Drama can be sincere.

Rodents of Unusual Size
His impression of audiences is pretty right on.
Riskbreaker
I only saw the first one on a bus trip, i can't remember a single thing about it.
Seven Arts/H8 Red
I remember a robot that looked like a simulacrum of a human.

Said robot then discovered it bought Bumblebee.

spicediver
In the long history of Kermode, that has to be one of his most fantastic rants ever.
DavidBowiesLuckyTennisBall
Still Sex In The City 2 for me. Any movie rant that involves the Internationale, seven minutes in, is a winner.

Old_Zircon
The Stewardesses is a pretty good movie.
dairyqueenlatifah
I just got back from seeing it.

Honestly? Yeah, it's a terrible all style, no substance explosionfest, just like all Bay films.

I loved it.
Dinkin Flicka
Vote w/ wallet.

infinite zest
Bay gets a lot of shit that a lot of other directors get praised for. Example? Elite Squad. Good movie filled with action and explosions and it wins the Berlin Film Festival. Director goes on to direct Robocop. Auto fail because haters hated months before it even came out. Or Zach Snyder with Watchmen. People are conditioned to hate on shit which clouds their objectivity.

If bay pulled an Alan Smithee and put someone else's name on this, like so many other reboots, it'd probably be getting better reviews simply because it wasn't Bay.

And I'm totally downloading the fuck out of this in a few months.

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