|Old_Zircon - 2014-06-30 |
I highly recommend this essay about Disney that a high school classmate's father (an MIT professor) wrote back in 1991:
He did a pretty great, hour long lecture about it at my high school, too.
Sorry for the word doc, that's the only full version of it I can find.
tl;dr all those costumed Disney characters are stewing in a sack full of their own sweat, urine and vomit, and aren't allowed out of costume for any reason other than their scheduled hourly break (which is only given to them so they don't die of heat stroke on the job).
|Toenails - 2014-06-30 |
These aren't really too bad... But I somehow am a bit disappointed that they didn't cover the folks that died in the Matterhorn ride.
-1 star for not living up to my arbitrary expectations.
|John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-06-30 |
Debbi Stone, the girl who was crushed between the rotating stages in "America Sings", looks exactly like you think: blonde, blue eyed, and smiling, like a goddamn Disney Princess, back when every Princess was a white girl.
|Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-06-30 |
I thought I knew all the weird stuff about Disney parks. I knew about the human remains thing but I had never heard about the flesh eating bacteria.
I'm surprised the Lemmings thing got number one, as horrible as it is. I knew that since I was a kid, I think before I knew about the Milos and Otises. Closest I came to working for Disney was when the Lion King came through town. The tour manager I had to spend most of my days with was.. like really really weird in a way I can't put my finger on: nice enough guy, but it was like he had been brainwashed by the mouse. Most other touring broadway troupes you can catch at the bar or smoking out by the loading dock, but that entire cast was just a little too friendly in a fucked up way.
I've known a few Disney employees. The animators I've met were nice enough, but it was like they were lawyers or doctors or some other highly skilled, upper middle class technocracy. They really do consider Disney to be the top of the heap, and will brook no debate over the decline in quality of the films of the last 20 years.
The theme park people, though, are all really awesome, especially in Disneyland. One I know of is a really, really good friend, and worked in the Tower of Terror at California Adventure. Throughout the day the workers would occasionally move the Shirley Temple doll in the foyer to freak out repeat riders.
I once came very close to working for the park, and was actually offered a job in the Disney Dorms in Florida. There's an entire quad of dorms out of sight for employees who feel like not paying the Mouse for an apartment instead of renting nearby, and the corporation accomodates as an excuse to pay troo Disney fanatic employees (and they exist) less.
I think my favorite Disney theme park story was about the gay porn actor who got a job in Adventureland, and he lived in absolute dread terror of being found out. Eventually somebody was tipped off and he was politely moved to an out of sight office position, but he quit shortly thereafter because it wasn't the same as being with the customers.
Is there a sure-fire way of pissing off highbrow Disney animators? Will they blow up and storm away if you ask them about Quack Pack or Wuzzles?
Rodents of Unusual Size
Ask them what they are doing to bring those shows back and to sign an online petition. QUACK PACK FOREVER.
That should do it.
|Meerkat - 2014-06-30 |
"Debbie's body found itself crushed" ... man I would hate to be a body suddenly gaining independent consciousness only to realize I was trapped between a rotating wall and a stationary wall.
I would be absolutely crushed.
|duck&cover - 2014-07-01 |
They didn't include the guy who died after being struck in the head with a metal cleat that tore loose from the replica sailing ship "Columbia."
|Xenocide - 2014-07-01 |
Most common cause of death: idiot teenagers trying to jump cars in the Peoplemover.
Biggest surprise: The Skyway has never killed anyone, and the only person to be hurt on it jumped out on purpose.
Takeaway: Disney is really good at winning lawsuits.
I think my favorite Disney Death was the kid who tried to steal the crystal ball in the Haunted Mansion, not realizing that there's a massive 30 foot drop between the Doom Buggies and the crystal ball platform to accommodate the electronics. There's actually a little mattress down there so the employees can take a nap/surreptitious fuck out of sight.
There is a problem in Disneyland with people stealing the props from the rides, and the most common one was the Wicked Witch's apple in the Snow White ride, it was getting stolen about once a week for twenty years. Eventually Disney put in a hologram so that now it is physically impossible to steal it. It must have cost them a fortune.
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