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Desc:He's right behind you! Smiling over your shoulder
Category:Religious, Stunts
Tags:Gang stalking, hide your kids hide your wife, jeebus, everywhere
Submitted:Jimsky
Date:07/23/14
Views:825
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Comment count is 11
Jet Bin Fever
Actually gave me chills, but not for the reasons they would hope.
namtar
So that time my coworker's elderly mother had a seizure and drowned in a pool while watching my coworker's toddler, who then drowned as well...Jesus was there, just a-watching.
Adham Nu'man
http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-was-then-that-i-carried-you-vs -bullshit-jesus-t,11542/

infinite zest
Ha. Back when the Onion was funny. This guy looks almost nothing like every depiction I've seen of (white) Jesus. He's not overweight but much heavier-set than Jesus, and his hair, both facial and cranial is way too short. In other words, he just looks like everybody in Portland sans Fedora.

Also, isn't there something in the bible that says you're not supposed to do this?

Bort
Sort of, but. There are Old Testament proscriptions against making graven images, but the Western church never paid much attention to them, along with all the other old Jewish nonsense they didn't feel applied to Christians. The Eastern church eventually got their collective undies in a bunch about their copious veneration of icons (images of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, etc), and it started a decades-long, sometimes violent fight over whether icons were forbidden or not. The ruling that theologians eventually landed on was, Jesus / Mary / etc were humans, and one of the properties of humans is that you can depict them, so icons are still allowable.

spicediver
Urrghh. Creepy. Touched by the busy hands of God.
Bort
Yeah. I know he can heal the sick and raise the dead, but use a little hand sanitizer already.

Oscar Wildcat
Next scene is some enraged father chasing Jesus down the street with a baseball bat.

Sexy Duck Cop
Gaping dog anus at 1:01.
Void 71
Jesus has a lot in common with the Burger King.
spicediver
Jesus sure gets around.

I spotted: Car Washing Jesus, Kitchen Jesus, Skateboading Bro Jesus, Garbage Truck Jesus, Car Passenger Seat Jesus, Baby Delivery Room Jesus, Video Gaming Jesus, Crazy Playground Jesus, Busy Hands Jesus, Jogging Jesus, Canine Jesus, Classroom Jesus, Emergency Jesus, Cleaning Lady Jesus, Wedding Jesus, Hair Stroking Jesus and last but not least Suicide Prevention Jesus.

Did I miss any?
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