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Desc:Microsoft intern showing off her Surface Pro 3
Category:General Station
Tags:Microsoft, , uncomfortable, CRAZY EYES, blink godammit
Submitted:Scrotum H. Vainglorious
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Comment count is 44
infinite zest - 2014-08-02
She reminds me of a lot of people I worked with at the worst job I ever had at Fund for the Public Interest. The problem was the "Stick to the rap" thing, rap meaning script. She's obviously excited about it and frankly it looks cool but I wouldn't be surprised if there's a prompter directly in front of her and this was the best take out of many.

She probably got to keep the thing if she said it right, the way you get to keep your job if you can successfully enter a "yes" at the end of the conversation with a stranger from across the country discussing their lakes and wildlife. The "umms" are simply human.
badideasinaction - 2014-08-02
She's a psyc major, that's enough to confirm she's crazy, from someone who had to essentially take all the psyc courses up to and including an undergraduate thesis.
Nominal - 2014-08-02
Yeah most Psych majors I've met have always had something seriously off about them.

Much in the same way if they had a humor major, only the most unfunniest people on the planet would take it.

infinite zest - 2014-08-02
You mean you haven't been to Evergreen?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-08-03
Took a psych course as a non-lab science in college. Can confirm, there was a ton of "physician, heal thyself" going on among the student body.

The course was "Sensation & Perception," which ain't as sexy as it sounds, and it's been more infuriating to know the stuff I learned than satisfying. It was mostly a "how our brains fuck stuff up that we see and nearly everything we see is wrong" class.

F'rinstance, there's "The Moon Illusion." Even after you explain the whole thing to people, some will still swear up and down that the moon IS bigger when its near the horizon when it's just a trick our stupid brains play on us. I should never have learned it. I'd be a lot happier.

fluffy - 2014-08-03
Psych majors want to get a degree so that they can figure out what's wrong with themselves. Or, worse yet, EVERYONE ELSE (because they are the only person who isn't crazy).

infinite zest - 2014-08-03
not to mention prescribe their own drugs. One for you, two for me...

exy - 2014-08-02
easy 5 because in a few seconds i was hoping to see a tag about blinking without knowing 'blink godammit', and there it was.

i wonder what meds she's on, on top of zest's scriptiness. i've had a couple of corp-y jobs and also live on this planet and noticed there are some people who just dig being on the team, or something.

totally overshadowed by her strangeness, looks like a neat thing that I assume crashes all day long.
infinite zest - 2014-08-03
It actually makes me wary of the whole "go back to school" thing: for me anyway I took classes, worked and had to go to the one place to write my papers that was open and had the internet, which was a 24 hour adult store my friend worked at. Floppys were going the way of the dodo and CDRs were still like .75 cents a piece. Plus who wants to ostensibly waste a whole CD with one 20 page paper? So I just emailed my papers to myself, under the .edu address. After I graduated I was happy and didn't think to move them and someone stole my laptop, which was pretty much crapping out anyway which is probably why it was sitting on a curb with a half cracked screen. Anyway I didn't think about those papers for almost ten years and they were as gone as my .edu address. I did my best to shrug it off, like I didn't waste all of my money and time and most of my employers (potential and actual) understand that but it's hard to explain the feeling of loss. Now a syllabus is online. The WORST CLASS I took was an online one. It's probably easier now because more people have these but they expected you to "attend" a discussion that never worked, and also I was at fucking work. If I had to think about what I would ask for for my birthday it'd probably be a new Micron pen and a Philip Roth's worth of cocktail napkins.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-03
I think she needs to have her adderall presciption adjusted.
Bort - 2014-08-03
I'd like to give her a Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory, if you know what I mean.
Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2014-08-03

fluffy - 2014-08-03
You want to lock her in a room for 3 hours while she fills out a tedious multiple-choice question that is scored based on outdated social norms and leading questions?

Bort - 2014-08-27
That's a seriously tortured euphemism, but yes.

kingarthur - 2014-08-03
She looks like the daughter from The Middle and emotes in the same way. Was she, like her, cast for how goofy she looks?
Binro the Heretic - 2014-08-03
They just keep getting bigger and bigger as the video goes on...
Nikon - 2014-08-03
Okay, be energetic and happy . . .
no, not that happy and energetic.
Robin Kestrel - 2014-08-03
I like the part where she pauses to swallow a whole guinea pig.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-03
What's significant here for me is taking notes with a pen. This is the first thing I've ever seen that convinces me that touch screens may have some practical value, though i still hate and fear them.
Nikon - 2014-08-03
I think you can also play osu! on the screen.

SolRo - 2014-08-03
It's been possible for close to a decade now. I took notes on a convertable tablet laptop 5 years ago, and it didn't cost a fortune to buy.

Raggamuffin - 2014-08-03
Kept waiting for the film crew to come back from the salad bar and drag her away from their equipment.
John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-03
I just happened to come across a bunch of articles written by interns on various sites. Paying people for work is so 20th century.

Aopparently, to a millennial, online shopping and and studying at the same time equals "balance in my life".

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-03
I took some introductory psychology courses in college. Part of the requirement was to volunteer for various studies conducted by grad students. I learned that when you're part of a psychological study, if they bother to explain it to you, that mean they're lying.
memedumpster - 2014-08-03
I recommend you never settle for i3 devices.
MurgatroidMendelbaum - 2014-08-03
Also needs a "breath godammit" tag.
That 2-minute compound, complex sentence does nothing to dissuade the crazy theory.
Hooker - 2014-08-03
Boy, Microsoft. It's a two-minute video. You can do a few takes and use the best parts of each. It's totally okay.
Hooker - 2014-08-03
I mean, I know your video-editing software isn't so good, but this shouldn't be too rough.

memedumpster - 2014-08-03
They're already regretting closing XBox Studios.

fluffy - 2014-08-03
The sad thing is that this clearly IS edited, as you can tell by the bits where you hear her briefly talking over herself.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-08-03
It took a few takes to get just the right amount of spergy awkwardness.

infinite zest - 2014-08-04
This seems to be the thing. I don't really watch much TV but I see those apple commercials with the montage; it's very.. "Mac." Not a good or bad thing but it's kind of like when Volkswagon introduced the world to Spiritualized with that Ladies and Gentlemen We're Floating in Space commercial. I liked 'em since Spacemen3 and anyway I was like "oh shit, here comes a new style of marketing..." It's good for the band and great for the product but having an iPhone isn't going to transform you into a Supermom..

Those commercials for ITT Tech, Devry, etc. have a very "real" feel to them: "I was just like you, watching Amazing World of Gumball at 10 in the morning paying 100 dollars a month to live on a couch with a curtain wondering where my philosophy major got me.." not that that's like me or anything.. so I enjoy the honesty of something where "not an actor" means just that. I think after the whole "I'm a mac/PC" thing Microsoft had to go in the opposite direction marketing wise.

CIWB - 2014-08-03
Every Microsoft ad I see makes me think their marketing department is chock full of autism.
Sputum - 2014-08-03
oh my god. exactly. thank you.

boner - 2014-08-03
Finally a tablet that runs SongSmith.
Oscar Wildcat - 2014-08-03

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-03
This is the only ad I've ever seen for anything Microsoft that actually made me sort of want the thing, if only so I could install Linux on it. So Kudos to you, Kate D'Orozio!
Sputum - 2014-08-03
Can you put linux on one of these things?

infinite zest - 2014-08-04
I'm sure you can but I doubt it'd work. I had a bitch of a time setting up my dual monitor from my laptop on Ubuntu as it was.

EvilHomer - 2014-08-04
If God had intended us to use Linux, He wouldn't have given us Windows.

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-04
I'm sure you can. I'm all about legacy hardware, so it'll be a while before I get my chance


http://www.geek.com/microsoft/linux-users-rejoice-heres-ubuntu -on-the-surface-pro-3-1594864/

John Holmes Motherfucker - 2014-08-04
Hmmm Keyboard doesn't work? Okay, never mind.

fluffy - 2015-05-31
There's cheaper ways of getting a tablet PC with Linux on it, especially if you're willing to go the ARM route.

Redford - 2014-08-03
Hahaha, that look at around :58 is priceless.
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