|James Woods - 2014-08-28 |
Jerk Cumer-on... your eyeballs
|IrishWhiskey - 2014-08-28 |
The character is supposed to represent the white Christian male, so his name is Christian White. This was the actual explanation by Kirk Cameron, showing off the knowledge learned from failing to read a book on screenwriting.
I'm guessing the name of the guy at the end then is Minstrel Black. And the antagonist is called Strawman Atheist.
|memedumpster - 2014-08-28 |
Why would Santa sing Raw Hide after car jacking Jesus?
Maybe the question answered itself.
Maybe Dennis Miller contributed some of the jokes.
|Binro the Heretic - 2014-08-28 |
I'll tell you what, "Happy holidays." and, "Season's greetings." means, Mr. Cameron. It means people with religions even older than yours also happen to celebrate holy days around the same time of year.
The people who get pissed off when you say, "Happy holidays." instead of, "Merry Christmas." are the same pricks who go around telling everyone to, "Have a blessed day." with that vacuous punchable smile and dead empty glazed-eye stare.
The New Meat
They're theatened by "Happy Holidays," because it acknowledges the aggressive and unchecked growth of Channukah, whose runaway popularity will soon completely swallow up Christmas altogether.
|giygusattack - 2014-08-28 |
Kirk Cameron keeps the "Christ" in "Christ, what an asshole."
|The New Meat - 2014-08-28 |
Wait, so commercialization and pagan syncretism are endorsed by Jesus?
|Mother_Puncher - 2014-08-28 |
Duh dur *burp* yuh is a pagan holiday buuuuuut I don't give a *fart* uh hyuck. ITS ALL CHRISTMAS TO ME
Ive been knocking around this idea for a movie of a liberal controlled future where Christmas is outlawed. There is a small rebel force of Christians on the fringes of society fighting for survival. One group is growing Christmas trees in an old warehouse on the outskirts of a controlled city waiting to get moved to a safer area when BLAMO! They are raided by equality storm troopers to open fire on the small, illegal pine saplings and smash ornaments under foot. The people who escape with some christmas shit are hunted down and the captured are either executed on the spot or forced into equality camps for reeducation. The main bad guy, General Equality, was raised by Christians as Christian Courage alongside his twin brother, Noel Courage, before they were separated and Christian was captured. Seeing the potential in Christian as an asset to their movement, Dictator Dameon "Big" Government personally trained Christian to become the biggest bad ass ever.
Knocking around? Hell I'm almost done writing it
They already wrote that and called it Left Behind 2 (or was it 3?).
No really. Search for the "bible heist" video here.
Sexy Duck Cop
Nominal is not being sarcastic. That actually is the plot to another Kirk Cameron movie, one that holds the world record for Most Ducking Around Ever in a motion picture. See, the Christian rebellion gears up to battle the antichrist, but about 20 minutes into the movie the obligatory Nonthreatening Black Man For Fuck's Sake People I'm Not Racist Look, Here Is A Black Person And He Is My Friend points out that Lucifer is merely fulfilling Biblical prophecy, and opposing him would be opposing the Bible.
There's an uncomfortable silence, followed by KC suggesting that if they can't defeat the devil, they can at least...sort of vaguely mess with one of his MS Word documents? And so the climatic final scene is Satan himself reading a speech, but with the words changed from "The One True God is.....ME" to "The One True God is....JESUS CHRIST!!?! WUUUUHHHHHHHH???"
It kicks ass, is what I'm saying.
I am a failure. 7 MONTHS OF WORK FOR NOTHING
|oddeye - 2014-08-28 |
Haven't we already seen this movie? Pretty sure these guys are even the same actors going on about "the founding fathers were christian!!!!" or some shit.
Anyway saying "Merry Christmas" is a can of worms, just fucking say "Happy holidays shithead" or whatever.
|Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-08-29 |
A mentally limited engagement
|boner - 2014-08-29 |
Amusingly, the English once banned Christmas for being too extravagant and Catholic.
Not too late to reverse the mistakes made in declaring independence, America.
On a related note, Christians don't like it when you point out that the date of Christ's birth isn't in the Bible (unlike the date for Easter, which is tied to a solar calendar to determine when Passover is) nor is there any command to celebrate it.
Don't give the Christians any ideas. Cromwell's lackeys had a lot in common with the Puritan expatriates living in the Colonies; in many ways, one could argue that our current evangelical right is the linear descendant of those Parliamentarian dogs.
The last thing we need is neo-Roundheads running around.
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