Even satanists gotta clean out those closets once in a while.
When I worked at a thrift shop we got:
A big TV stand with 50 bootleg tapes of 80s gay porn in it
At least one used vibrator or strap-on per week
A litterbox full of cat shit
No human remains though.
I went to this St. Vincent's in Salem that bought half-used bottles of non-perishable things. I found a half-used bottle of Shampoo, Vaseline and CHAP STICK in a bag for fifty cents. There's another place in Gladstone that sells grab bags of kids toys. Ponies and naked barbie dolls in clear plastic bags for three bucks (1.50 on Thursdays)
It's amazing what some people will donate to a Goodwill or any thrift shop, really. I worked at a thrift shop for a bit, that was located a few blocks down from a Goodwill, and sometimes people would try donating utter trash. Just...junk that was falling apart. Junk electronics, junk books, clothes with holes and stains on them, etc. I mean stuff that wasn't salvageable at all, and the people donating these items would not get why the shop didn't want their busted 60's era portable radio with unidentifiable crud stuck deep in the speaker or a filthy, threadbare bathrobe.
The used litterbox was the worst.
My girlfriend was pretty psyched to get all that 80s gay porn, though. She and her roommate watched them all and graded them on a 5 star scale. It actually kind of sucked after a while because every time I went over there for like a month they were watching gay porn (all the tapes were EP so it was something like 75 full length movies). It was funny at first but after a while you just want to hang out without a bunch of taints.
The flip sde was that I got maybe 00 worth of rare records in about 8 months for maybe 0 total. Also the books were sorted by a volunteer couple who chose stuff for the shelves based only on condition, which sucked because a lot of amazing things went in the dumpster but my coworker who was a book collector got a ton of valuable first editions, some rare 19th century historical documents he donated to a local university, and a MASSIVE, illustrated, hand colored, leather bound bible from the 1850s, all for free because two idiots thought it made more sense to have 8 copies of Wild Animus on the shelf.
Just in general the hole place turned to shit a few months after I started there, the nonprofit that owned it hired an TJ Max regional manager as their new "corporate manager" when they were trying to make a second location work, and he bad vibed out the existing management (who were great people and new how to run a thrift store -also one of them was a guy who, while gay, wasn't the new manager's type and the other was - worse still - a woman; his pet project was to fill the store with nothing but the most hipster-looking twinks from Mass Art because that was his type; he literally wouldn't have a conversation with you if you were a woman and was all around horrible), replaced them with someone who would do his dirty work for him, an last time I was in there it was the kind of place that asks for a single Radio Shack speaker with the woofer torn out. I guess they were successful in pricing the poors out, though, and went a long way toward cementing my already nascent skepticism of charity-as-business.
No one goes to Goodwill out here for cheap used clothing, it's a hipster fashion store. If you collect glass trinkets, it's a moderately priced trinket shop too.
There's an actual Christian church run thrift store out here that still prices things like they give a shit about poor people. To the point where the price on a lot of stuff is "whatever." There's good people with good will, and then there's Goodwill.
My Goodwill never has human skulls. I bet they get bought up fast.
|infinite zest |
That's it, I'm moving to Austin.
|John Holmes Motherfucker |
So can I donate my body to Goodwill when I die?
I've found human skeletons of sufficient quality at around k online. There must be hundreds of thousands of perfectly good human bodies that people should use yet they almost always go to waste.
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