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Desc:Meet the Vipukirves, a 0 axe, from Finland. For cutting wood.
Category:Science & Technology, Nature & Places
Tags:wood, finland, axe, SFW fetish, heavy breathing lumberjack
Submitted:The Mothership
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Comment count is 23
infinite zest - 2014-09-04
Got nothing on my Diamond Axe
urbanelf - 2014-09-05
His crafting table is shit, too.

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-05
It's a weird shape. It's like there's not enough corners or something.

oddeye - 2014-09-04
Cutting all this wood.... is giving me wood.
blue vein steel - 2014-09-05
yeah, why no SFW Fetish tag?

The Mothership - 2016-07-06

Sexy Duck Cop - 2014-09-05
The tragedy of Finnish lumberjacking is that I'll never know if cleaving a stump in three whacks like that is heroic or pathetic by lumberjack standards.
Bort - 2014-09-05
I have no practical use for a Superaxe, but damn if I don't want to get wood and then whack it with one of these.
infinite zest - 2014-09-05
getting wood and whacking it doesn't necessarily require a superaxe..

Bort - 2014-09-05

TeenerTot - 2014-09-05
But what makes it different from any other axe? Was it blessed by Kalevanpoika or something??
chumbucket - 2014-09-05
From the website:
"The function of the axe is based on the blade’s one-sided design. When the blade strikes a log, it begins to incline, creating torque, which multiplies the splitting force and enables the blade to detach the log wood. Kinetic energy ends on top of the log so the blade will not slip."
It also supposedly allows you to start splitting from the edge of the log rather than having to hack away from the center.

chumbucket - 2014-09-05
and this:

Bort - 2014-09-05
Looks like the axe head is designed to crowbar the wood after it strikes. That's pretty clever.

TeenerTot - 2014-09-05
Ohhhh....Thanks, chum!

Bort - 2014-09-05
There the blood-stained son of death-land,
There Tuoni's son and hero,
Cuts in pieces Lemminkainen,
Chops him with his mighty hatchet,
Till the sharpened axe strikes flint-sparks
From the rocks within his chamber,
Chops the hero into fragments,
Into five unequal portions,
Throws each portion to Tuoni,
In Manala's lowest kingdom,
Speaks these words when he has ended:
"Swim thou there, wild Lemminkainen,
Flow thou onward in this river,
Hunt forever in these waters,
With thy cross-bow and thine arrow,
Shoot the swan within this empire,
Shoot our water-birds in welcome!"
Thus the hero, Lemminkainen,
Thus the handsome Kaukomieli,
The untiring suitor, dieth
In the river of Tuoni,
In the death-realm of Manala.
Bort - 2014-09-05
Or you may remember Lemminkainen as the failure / loser from "The Day the Earth Froze". I forget that some of you had normal childhoods that didn't involve studying Finnish legends.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-09-05
Oh yes, you mean Blind LemminKainen.

memedumpster - 2014-09-05
You mean with this axe I can make a Sanpo!?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-05

Robin Kestrel - 2014-09-05
I co-DM'ed a long-running D&D campaign with the mythology pretty much just lifted straight from the Kalevala.

Also, that is a damn nice axe. Makes you wanna go buy a wood-burning stove.

BorrowedSolution - 2014-09-05
Ooooo. I vant vun!
infinite zest - 2014-09-05
You're gonna need suspenders and a bra, and get used to hanging around in bars. :)

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