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Desc:Did you guess 'delicate mincing homosexual men' and 'neat vehicle design'? You win!
Category:Video Games, Trailers
Tags:gay, final fantasy, oh japan, disappointment, just a bunch of sexy dudes on a roadtrip
Submitted:Killer Joe
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Comment count is 62
Hooker - 2014-09-17
So is this supposed to be a sort-of western? Because the western's unpretentious quality is key to why it works - it's not a good mix for Final Fantasy, as you can see.
infinite zest - 2014-09-17
Cloud and Vincent Go To White Castle

I do like the aesthetic, but the gameplay looks about as much fun as Sokaigi. Don't know what that is? Probably a good thing. I liked the music and the airships look cool but last one I played was VII.
Kid Fenris - 2014-09-17
Sokaigi had an amazing soundtrack. I'll give it that.

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
It really did. I was looking up old videos and had sort of forgotten. It might be my favorite video game music of all time.

Oscar Wildcat - 2014-09-18
On tour with Brokencyde.

infinite zest - 2014-09-18
Hahahahaha I had to look it up but yeah. I learned a new word today! Crunkcore.

memedumpster - 2014-09-17
This trailer makes the game look like it's about a bunch of douchey rich kids who go around looking for the right fields to LARP in while dealing with unconscious desires to be more than that. The sad thing is, I would actually play that game, but I know this wont be so well written as to be that kind of coming of age story.
memedumpster - 2014-09-17
Holy shit, Final Fantasy would be a great title for that too.

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
And Role Models, a great movie nobody saw.

I watched a few little clips from the South Park Stick of Destiny game, which does kind of capture what you're talking about. I'm assuming in typical SP fashion, it goes from the playground to.. I dunno wherever those shows go. Plus it looks exactly like the show, which is pretty cool.

But I like your idea! I lived with a couple of LARPers for a while and they were douchey rich kids. It doesn't describe all LARPers but yeah. They LARPed, hula hooped and smoked weed all day. In faireness they were in college, but so was I, spooning up vomit with a spoon most likely. I guess that makes me a spoony bard.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-17
Yes, Stick of Destiny was similar to that, but it was played purely for laughs. Something with the production values of Final Fantasy, but a bizarre and oddly poignant LARPer plot, would be awesome.

Anyone want to make it? We could make a Kickstarter, then embezzle the money once we get bored.

Caminante Nocturno - 2014-09-17
Make sure to fake some death threats so that you can get a bunch of spite donations from sanctimonious suckers.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-17
I've got a small handful of RPG characters I've been working on, not sure what I'm going to do with them. One of them is a warrior-scholar based on Lindybeige:


Lindybeige is an avid LARPer. So, like, maybe this dude could be a protagonist; in real life, he's a somewhat weedy middle-class nobody, but in The Game, he's the fearsome Sir Lloyd the Beige, warrior and adventurer nonpareil! The narrative could keep switching between his humdrum and un-fulfilling real life, and his fantastic imaginary adventures down at the local park.

Callamon - 2014-09-17
Come let us gingerly touch our tips

EvilHomer - 2014-09-17
We could also include moral choices, so like in the end, your characters can either grow up and stop being LARP nerds, or go all Tom Hanks in Mazes & Monsters, with different endings and different social commentaries depending on how you played through the game.

Maybe we can even find some way to twist things around and make the player painfully aware of his own life situation, right at the end? Use the Xbone Kinect to inject a final FMV cutscene, where it's revealed that the whole time, YOU were the guy living vicariously through Lloyd, and Lloyd's real life was your fake life.

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
I'm totally down with this. I haven't programmed any games since Qbasic text adventures but I write a lot, or could help in other ways.

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
Portal of Evil needs its own Portal, so to speak.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-17
If Chet could do it, we can too!

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
I'm totally down to write. Most of what I write are grants, and while I'm writing a musical, it won't be due for a while. The telvision show I was working on basically self-destructed too. I'm not jealous of Chet's success at all, but we were pretty much doing the same thing in the late 90s but for different sites. I just didn't see this internet thing as lucrative so we sold the website and I went to college. I've been happy without seeing too much financial success (that's not exactly why you go to college for Philosophy and Comp lit, right) but this could be really great.

Nominal - 2014-09-17
I'm looking forward to this for no other reason than Spoony's eventual ranting deconstruction of it.

Holy shit was the last game such an utter disaster of storytelling.
dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-09-18
Spoony is an annoying faggot with a bad heart who will probably be dead by the time this game is released.

Nominal - 2014-09-18
I admit Spoony really isn't good for much else besides Final Fantasy takedowns. His skits are painful and lately most of his stuff is just him rambling about a movie for longer than the actual movie. I have yet to see an internet personality NOT completely stop trying once they get a patreon set up.

Quad9Damage - 2014-09-19
I have nothing ill to say about Spoony. His output used to be like clockwork, and he really is at his peak when he's ripping Final Fantasy. He can still hit the right nodes, and I enjoy his Counter Monkey stuff when his production shifts to mainly vlogs.

Xenocide - 2014-09-17
"It's been a long time coming," he said, a statement obviously unrelated to the fact that this game has been in development since 2005 and was originally planned as an early title for the Playstation 3.

But all that work really paid off. Look! You can kill mammoths!
oddeye - 2014-09-17
Duke Nukem said something similar in the final, real launch trailer for "Duke Nukem Forever"

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-09-17
There actually a modern version of enemies from FFV.

Yes, that gives me a huge nerd boner. Yes, I'm hyped for this game.

infinite zest - 2014-09-17
Oh! I was going to ask a question ("soo.... they announced FF15 before they released 13 and 14??") but now it makes more sense. Nomura and I share at least one thing in common: I really appreciate Amano and draw inspiration from him, which I probably wouldn't have discovered if it wasn't for FF6. Thing is (and I stand by my Sokaigi comparison above) I played Kingdom Hearts for the world itself, and got pretty frustrated by the combat system and controls.

Xenocide - 2014-09-17
15 was originally going to be a spinoff title for FF13, (called Final Fantasy Versus 13 because why should titles ever make sense) set in the same world. Both games were announced at the same time.

Considering the fiasco 13 was, it's probably for the best that they cut ties with it.

infinite zest - 2014-09-18
I don't know if I'd actually buy it, but I really like the "Prince on the run" vibe I get from this: it's very Shakespearean, like Prince Hal. Will he betray his cool friends like Hal betrayed Falstaff? 7's Cloud had a pretty standard trope: "you lost your memory and you're actually a super soldier working for the resistance." I was like 14 years old and saw that one coming. That being said, I cried when Aeris died.

oddeye - 2014-09-19
He wasn't a super soldier though. Also he didn't lose his memory, he just forgot about everything.

dairyqueenlatifah - 2014-09-17
This looks fantastic. I can't wait to play it in ten more years.

Hell, after FFXIII and FFXIV, the bar is set so low that this can't help but a commercial success.
SolRo - 2014-09-17
FFXIV is great now.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-09-17
I can't help but wonder, is this the kind of game/characters/story they wanted the old 16-bit masterpieces to be? If so, thank god for the limitations of technology.
The Mothership - 2014-09-17
Duke Moon'em.
poorwill - 2014-09-17
Well this was embarrassing to watch.
Lef - 2014-09-17
TheOtherCapnS - 2014-09-18
Holy shit

Lef - 2014-09-18
These are not cosplayers, they are hosts. Men who are paid to spend time with women. No sex, just time, conversation, etc. The goood ones can make a ridiculous amount of money. They're considered sex symbols. Don't they all look like Japanese David Bowie impersonators? (or FF15 characters?

The female hosts are not prostitutes (but like the male counterparts, can have sex for money.

Kid Fenris - 2014-09-18
I'd love a goofball fantasy RPG version of The Great Happiness Space.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-18
Yeah, we've had some host videos on here before, IIRC. I always assumed that Final Fantasy's penchant for bishi pretty boys came from J-rock, but maybe it's also a reference to escorts?

SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-17
Japan leads the way in making other games like Assassin's Creed come off like hard sci-fi by comparison.

And yay, more over-accessorized douchebags as protagonists. We needed more of those.
misterbuns - 2014-09-18
Homosexual? This is straight culture in Japan.

Gay culture in Japan, a reaction against this, is hoodies and basketball shorts and is probably a lot butcher than you.
SolRo - 2014-09-18
yeah, but there's going to be so much Japanese gay fanfic made for those characters that it will dwarf the library of congress.

misterbuns - 2014-09-18
If so it will be written by straight females because these guys are the apotheosis of straight asian dudes.

OPs homophobia is gross.

Gmork - 2014-09-18
OP wasnt being homophobic, just stating the obvious.

Killer Joe - 2014-09-18
I fully support your right to dress like Jem and suck as many dicks as you like, and even marry the hunky dude you like best! I do, however, reserve the right to tell you look pretty gay while doing so.

infinite zest - 2014-09-18
I'd actually like it if there was some male homosexual activity that was taken completely seriously in video games. Yeah, these guys look like stereotypical Japanese pop stars, and that's not "gay," it's just fashion sense. To me, it looks more "metrosexual" anyway, like an episode of Entourage but with better hair. With all the talk about male-centric gaming where the woman is objectified, and the lesbian kiss scene is used for "hotness" value or whatever, the male homosexual is often made into the jester of the party and neither is representative of homosexuals at all, male or female. I've known some very flamboyant gay men, some very butch lesbians, some very alpha male heterosexual males, and some very slutty heterosexual women in my time, but I've known far more completely down to earth people whose sexual preferences are their own. The movie industry is starting to come around on this, I think, and I'd like to see a game just go and do it too.

RedRust - 2014-09-18
Last time I checked, "kuso" doesn't mean "It got me!"
SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-09-18
Somehow, expecting anything good from the dialog from any game that remotely resembles anime seems borderline delusional.

SolRo - 2014-09-18
what does it mean? I've seen like 15 different translations for it in subtitles.

EvilHomer - 2014-09-18
Its literal translation is "shit". However, given that shit is an all-purpose interjection, I think "it got me!" could be considered a valid translation.

Kid Fenris - 2014-09-18
Yeah, from the context it's a fair representation, as he's swearing because something tagged him.

infinite zest - 2014-09-18
I'd like to see a swear book for American audiences that gives context for Japanese swear words, or slang, the same way that the Japanese gave the book about "fuck." I'm not sure when I'd ever be in the situation personally, but it'd be cool to know when I'm saying "aw shit" vs. "(you're a) piece of shit."

jreid - 2014-09-18
It looks like they've dropped the RPG angle and FF is a straight-up adventure game now...?
Kid Fenris - 2014-09-18
Earlier footage showed the usual hit-point displays and menu commands. I guess they've moved them off-screen so you can play it as an action-RPG most of the time.

Some of this looks fun! I dig the idea of warping around by throwing your sword at distant objects, like a long-range Bionic Commando.

rastarat - 2014-09-18
Orange Frappuccinos for everyone! yaaaaaay!
Rosebeekee - 2014-09-18
That reminds me, I still need to finish Final Fantasy VI advance.
misterbuns - 2014-09-18
Everything is Terrible needs to make a Final Fantasy episode.
Xenagama Warrior Princess - 2014-09-18
http://www.youtubedoubler.com/?video1=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com %2Fwatch%3Fv%3DwT3dyanB3pk&start1=09&video2=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtu be.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D_nLiQBV6A7c&start2=0&authorName=

Not sure if sorry or if amazed.
James Woods - 2014-09-18
That car is badass, and the dinosaur esc creature designs are very cool. The improved combat system looks really fun too! But, why do we have to play as One Direction?
Quad9Damage - 2014-09-19
Do you occasionally get to switch to Dakota Fanning? Is there a camera in your inventory and a hidden Trophy for taking a selfie with a mammoth in the background?

EvilHomer - 2014-09-19
>> Is there a camera in your inventory and a hidden Trophy for taking a selfie with a mammoth in the background?

Actually, I would be surprised if this WASN'T in the game.

Quad9Damage - 2014-09-19
Have your grandma pull the LARP around.
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