A summary for those who don't have 1:23:44 to spare:

Although the goddess of civil warfare was still in doubt,
And soft Otho had perhaps still a chance of winning,
He renounced fighting that would have cost much blood,
And with sure hand pierced right through his breast.
By all means let Cato in his life be greater than Julius Caesar himself;
In his death was he greater than Otho?

PROTIP: local Australian commercials around 50:00.

I'll give this credit for making the "nerd takes off glasses and looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT" twist a bit more plausible than the norm.

I would still hit Heather Graham, even in the 80s.

whoa, Otho died four years ago

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glenn_Shadix